Posted on 08/14/2020 9:41:41 AM PDT by Colonial35
Subject: FW: Five year old Granddaughter This is one of the funniest ones I’ve seen in a long time. I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 5-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?” She said “It’s President’s Day!” She is a smart kid. So, I asked “What does President’s Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln ... etc. She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment.” You know, it hurts when coffee spurts out your nose.
A man visits a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What happened to your car?”
The friend replies, “I ran into a lawyer.”
“That explains the blood,” says the man. “But what about the leaves, grass, branches and dirt?”
“I had to chase him all through the park.”
I love that - pretty darned good imagination!
“”That one took a few seconds to snap in place.””
Same here but finally it clicked!
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit,
and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached,
the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.
Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with
hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time,
took one sip of the drink and exclaimed,
“This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”
“No, I’m sorry”, replied the bartender,
“it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”
Little Johnny’s mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone.
Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. “Mommy, it’s the minister,” he said to his mother.
From the kitchen, Johnny’s mom said, “Tell him I’ll call him back.”
Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
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