PRICELESS!!!! I am tempted to send it to my rats!
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(Satire) All-Purpose Democrat Last Minute Smear Form
grey_whiskers ^ | Sep 23 2018 | grey_whiskers
Posted on 9/23/2018, 11:28:36 PM by grey_whiskers
____ 28, 201_
CONFIDENTIAL
Senator _______ ___________
Dear Senator _________:
I am writing to you with information concerning the background of the current nominee to ____________. As I am a loyal Democrat, I trust that you will keep this confidential from Republicans, especially Senator _________, until we can spring this on them at the last minute with no chance for rebuttal or fact checking. Also, may I ask that our colleagues in the usual social media companies carefully scrub my posting history for the past ____ years.
________ physically __________ me and sexually __________ during ___________ in the time frame ______ to ______ on at least ___ occasion(s). These acts were performed in front of the following witnesses: ________, ________, _________, and ________ ; although I already stated I was too ________ (choose one) inebrieated / frightened / surprised / transported into ecstacy
to remember the details, such as the day and year, or even how many people were in the room, I am sure that ________, the current nominee to _______________, was the main perpetrator.
___________ pushed me onto ___________ where he proceeded to _______ and _________, and even _________ my _________ while the others (choose one) did nothing / took photos with their phones / joined in / pointed and laughed /
After a few minutes, __________, the current nominee to _______, stopped for a few moments to _________. The others in the room, who were not victims, but may have been perpetrators, depending on whether their memory contradicts mine, began to ask _________, the current nominee to to “Stop it already, can’t you see ______ (choose one)” she’s had enough / you’ve made your point / it’s MY turn / it’s almost midnight /
I don’t know how I escaped, or how I made it home. It’s all a blur. I was so ashamed, I didn’t mention a word to any of my friends, to the police, or to my ________, until we were in marriage counseling decades later. And nobody in _______ ever talked about the incident, or gave me any funny nicknames either.
I waited until _________, ___ days before the formal Senate vote for confirmation of ___________ to ______, because I felt it my duty as a loyal Democrat to stand up against the patriarchy and for a woman’s right to choose. Did I say patriarchy?
I am available to speak further to you about this should the derailment of the nomination of _________ to the ____________ be going badly for our party. Contact me through my local #MeToo local for information on any secret numbered bank accounts if you feel impelled by conscience to make a purely voluntary donation merely to show solidarity with the movement and without any hint of bribery, collusion, or conspiracy whatsoever.
Confidentially yours (Even though I will end up plastered all over the front page of every website in the Country)
______________
______________ (choose one) New York / Massachusetts / Florida / California