The Face Of Addiction

The Courier-Tribune ^ | 5/20/18 | Annette Jordan

[OneVike]

On May 1, Jason Bigelow’s body was discovered in an abandoned house near High Point. He had been missing from his Asheboro home for a week, and while the autopsy results are still pending, his wife, Anna, has no doubt what the cause of death was.

On April 30, the day before he was found, she posted this on Facebook in one angry, anguished burst:

“My husband is missing and no one has heard from him in 6 days. Even in his darkest of times he would have not gone that long without communication. It’s hard to know what to feel, stricken with fear, paralyzed with worry.

“Addiction, it’s the one word no one wants to talk about, like a dark secret, but it’s destroyed so many lives. To be honest I’m not mad at Jason. If anything I’m mad at the community who looked at him so differently because of his addictions and faults. I feel like God’s grace has never run out on him, but our grace ran out for him. People think here we go again, or it’s another relapse, or if he loved his family then why couldn’t he just quit. I will say this, I have never once doubted Jason’s love for me or the kids.

“Addiction is like a dark cloud that comes in and consumes you, takes away your ability to make a choice and torments your soul. I apologize for my brutal honesty, but maybe that’s what this town needs, not small talks, pretend smiles and bull****. But truth, our struggles, our weaknesses.”

Jason and Anna’s story begins at Appalachian State University where they were students. One day in the library, he walked up to the pretty co-ed, teasing her that she needed to leave because she was “distracting him and he wasn’t getting any work done.” From there, Jason pursued her romantically, and while she was at first reluctant, soon found herself falling in love.

“He’d take me to waterfalls, take me hiking, take me to sunsets. He always took me to beautiful places,” she says.

On Jan. 14, 2007, they married in one of those beautiful places, “a big cliff that overlooks all of Boone,” the very place he had asked her to be his girlfriend.

The couple shared a love of the outdoors, which they would impart to their children, Bearik, Grace and Maverick. Hiking, riding mountain bikes, snowboarding, jumping off waterfalls, hanging hammocks over cliffs — those were good times. Anna loved the way Jason was easy-going and non-judgmental, “the most loving, accepting person you could meet.” He had a heart of gold, family would later write in his obituary in The Courier-Tribune, an unforgettable smile and an energy that brought light to any dark room.

But underneath the light lay a darkness.

She traces the seed of his addiction back to an early childhood condition (paresthesia) that required Jason to “wear braces, kind like Forrest Gump, on his legs” and introduced him to pain medication. The disease didn’t take full root, however, until after they married and he underwent a hip replacement — and lots of pain pills — followed by severe, life-threatening complications. And even more pain-killers.

By the time they moved to Asheboro in the spring of 2007 and Bearik’s birth in June, Jason’s medicating had spiraled into something dangerous.

So had Anna’s.

“I started using with him,” she says, drugs like Oxycodone, cocaine, whatever they could find. “We started shooting up together. Now that I look back I wasn’t an addict. I was an abuser. I was trying to deal with being in a relationship with an addict and the only way I could connect with him or be with him was use with him.”

They both lost their jobs … and worse.

[Mrs. Don-o]

I don't know the science of neuropharmacology, but it does seem that there is a genetic (or maybe congenitally-affected) subset of the population that can become addicted from one exposure to the substance: it's how they're wired.

I have experience with people who were neurologically impaired by Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They certainly did not choose to have their vulnerable neural networks.

There is hope for them, but they have to be in extremely structured and controlled environments.

[mountainfolk]

I am always sympathetic to those who suffer the loss of a loved one. Addiction to drugs and other substance abuse is a choice a person makes which they most likely know will sooner than later affect their lives and those of many others in a very bad way. It is a selfish addiction that ruins families and sets a lethal example for not only their own children but to other vulnerable people. People should protect themselves and families from these abusers, family or not, and keep them away from infecting anybody you care about. Sorry. That is the way I see it.

[Wally_Kalbacken]

Amen, brother. I took an online course from Harvard Medical School extension on the Opioid Crisis. The first exercise was a word map, you were asked to identify 4 terms that came to mind when you thought of the opioid crisis. None of my terms mapped, because they were outside the range of the terms selected by the several thousand people who had taken the course already. Terms like "personal responsibility", or "indulgence" to not connect with the language used by medical professionals to discuss the epidemic. They bend over backwards to ignore the fact that the vast majority of addicts became addicted to opioids by choice.

The rather rude and pungent question that I ask about the crisis is - are the right people overdosing in this epidemic?

[Blue House Sue]

“On July 9, 2008, Jason robbed the High Country Bank in Foscoe, a small town near Boone, of $15,000. Armed with a toy BB gun and wearing a mask, he went into the bank while Anna stayed outside with their son. She then drove “the getaway car” to the beach, but the couple soon learned there were warrants out for their arrest.”

Ah, how cute. They brought their child along on a bank robbery.

These people are not just junkies.

These people are Thugs.

[MUDDOG]

Missing husband, off on an opioid binge — that’s how Conan Doyle started the Sherlock Holmes story “The Man With the Twisted Lip.”

The addict’s wife comes to Dr. Watson about her addict husband who’s been missing for two days. Watson sets out for the opium den, finds the husband, and packs him off home in a cab.

But who else does Watson meet there, but Sherlock Holmes! The game’s afoot.

[US_MilitaryRules]

Just went to funeral for a friends son. 26 and addicted to drugs.

[SMARTY]

Part of the problem? Hollywood and the MSM generally have removed the stigma associated with this stuff... whether it’s alcohol or drugs

Every kind of deviant conduct is glamorized. Young people are greatly impressed with this and at a time in their lives when they do not have the discernment to see it for what it is.

[Ted Grant]

My brother passed away in June 2007 of an overdose related to painkiller addiction and abuse. He was 47.

He had been to detox & rehab but it didn’t take. He expressed on interest in returning and was hostile at the mention of him needing to take steps to stop his drug abuse.

He started with marijuana in college and ever since had problems following through and finishing what he started. He was immature and had problems coping. He was just angry most of the time.

Our mother infantilized him and was overbearing, which certainly didn’t help his path to maturity and adulthood. The other children had the good sense to marginalize her influence on our adulthood. while we honored her, we put her antics in perspective and minimize her influence. He never had the wherewithal to do the same.

He was dissatisfied with his life. Had problems concentrating and staying focused. He preferred his high to living. While he didn’t want to die, I think he didn’t really want to live, either.

He needed his drugs as an escape. None of the solutions in the public discourse would have made a difference: he knew the risks, he knew that he had options available, he knew the dangers. There was no social program that could have told him anything he didn’t already know.

Ultimately, he made his decisions and decided he didn’t want to be free of his addictions. He passed away in his sleep after enjoying his last high on Sunday, June 25th.

[Ted Grant]

Sorry, this was last year, June 2017, not 2007. Typo.

[JimRed]

Talk is cheap, how do you implement your solution?

Only by spreading the wish to stop the problem so wide that like-thinking legislators will be elected and dominate congress.

Yeah, I know...Unicorns...flying pigs...Atlantis...

[proud American in Canada]

LOL, you guys!

Well here’s a toughie: what about multiplication or division? I won’t even get into the higher topics because I was never good at math.:-)

[Blue House Sue]

I lost a brother to addiction as well.

From the time he was a child, until he died, he always made poor decisions.

[uncbob]

My partial solution? Execute drug dealers, from street level to kingpin. No plea bargains, one appeal, then kill ‘em!

That include saloon owners

[Ted Grant]

I’m very sorry to hear.

My brother was the same. His judgment as very poor. Admittedly, he always had a difficult time with consequences.

[sheana]

I herniated a disc in my neck. Severe pain. Doc gave me a huge bottle of the strongest Vicodin. After about 2 weeks the pain started lessening and I started spacing out the Vicodin more. I got sick. Hubby said....yeah, you’re addicted. I walked right into the bathroom and flushed the rest of the bottle. Went through about a week of withdrawals and haven’t taken one again....even though I have severe pain from degenerative disc disease and a pinched sciatic.

[CGASMIA68]

everyones psyco make up is different, you got lucky

[PigRigger]

Yes...pray unceasingly...

My daughter is fighting to stay sober... from heroin and alcohol... Without Christ... it is only that much more difficult.

She fell once... to booze... after two years... she is back on the path... this time she appears to be drawing closer to Christ.

It is so difficult... she has a hole in her... one that looks for external validation of her worth... she pursues the world in an attempt to satisfy that need.

Until she understands her worth has already been one... that the fight is the Lord’s and not her’s... she will continue to battle and not be at peace.

As I said, this time she appears to be seeking God... If that truly is the case... she will find a peace and joy she never imagined.... and deliverance from this evil...

Prayers for all her are fighting or praying for one who is... continue to pray... and know... Hope is never lost if the Lord is on your heart....

[JimRed]

You're an emotion-driven idiot.

Thank you Ma'am, may I have another?

...you lack of compassion for those in a living Hell from their own choices is despicable. We all make mistakes. Further, many (most?) who run to hard drugs have some emotional pain they are desperate to escape (rape by parents being the most common for young girls).

Please, which sounds more emotional, your previous paragraph, or my suggestion that killing bad guys might be helpful? Leave the name-calling to the left please; that's what they are best at. Or...are you trolling from "that other site"?

[CodeToad]

Oh, go ahead and try to divide us....we’ll only multiply!

[JimRed]

There comes a time when it’s not a choice and I do not expect you to understand that at all.

Unless prescribed for a medical condition, the FIRST time is always a choice.