Posted on 05/11/2017 10:02:05 PM PDT by BJ1
At the end of the day, most men just want a woman whos nice. Nice, to a man, means being soft, gentle and kind. It means asking your husband how his day was and really listening. It means doing something nice for him with no expectation of getting something in returnyou know, the way you did when you were dating. But wait a minute, you say. Dont women want the same thing? A man whos nice? Not exactly. Most women do want a man whos kind, but thats not the same as nice. Ask any guy you know, and hell likely give you example after example of women they know who said they wanted a nice guy but in reality wanted a bad boy. Thats because just as most men are attracted to femininity, or softness, most women are attracted to masculinity. And masculinity is hard. Gruff. Take charge. So, where are you on the nice scale? If youre not an inherently nice person, believe me I get it. I think Im pretty nice, but that isnt the first word one would think of to describe me. The truth is, Ive had to exercise my nice muscle. Now Playing Author shares marriage advice for 'alpha females' Never autoplay videos Ive had to learn how to be be nice. A lot of women think theyre nice because they act nice. But acting nice and being nice are two different things. Being nice means you think of others before you think about yourself. (And yes, theres such thing as being too nice and putting your needs last; but Im not talking about that.) It means youre attune to the needs of others and incorporate those needs into the equation. Most husbands have no desire to lord over their wives....
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
Huh. That’s interesting; thanks for posting.
The other problem is that these people - like Mary Matalin and James Carville (two of the homliest people who ever drew a breath) - produce even uglier families!
Thank you for sharing that. It’s always a work in progress as it should be.
30 yrs is nothing to sneeze at. Congrats!
You two don’t sound shallow at all.
What a nasty reply, Mr/Ms Christian Perfectionexactly what you say you didn't mean to do. Yet you did. Her whole story was one of growth. Mind your own prayers.
It had nothing to do with being shallow. I was in love and had no reservations about anything I did for her which went a hell of a lot deeper then buying her gifts. But when she finally hit that last nerve you damn right I went off!
That he had a serious case of untreated PTSD undoubtedly caused most of these problems but he was far from gentle.
I married nice but she is also great!
Not perfect by any means, but when I’m doing a poor job of reflecting Christ, I don’t mind it being pointed out.
Her story put a bad light on her ex whom she admitted she regretted marrying while walking down the aisle to marry him! It wasn’t his fault she didn’t ‘love’ him. Much of the problems in the marriage likely originated from that fact, though! The fact is, like it or not, love is something we choose to do, and she didn’t CHOOSE to love him. If she’s repented and changed, great. Her story didn’t read that way, though.
I wish her nothing but the best either way, but it certainly won’t hurt her to reflect on her role in a failed marriage. That’s the only way we learn anything in this world - reflection on the part we play in the chaos.
I noticed that in most women’s profiles they wanted a tour guide and a free ride to exotic places. Few enjoyed beer over wine. Very few expressed happiness in the basic pleasures in life like fishing and hunting. I also noticed that most wanted their man to have an income greater than $100K per year.
No! SHE’S nuts.
Don’t take that as representative of all women.
You weren't there and you don't know whether he really loved her, either, or whether either or both of them were under pressure from parents, clergy or society in general to get married for any number of reasons other than true love and commitment. It happens possibly half or more of the time: "marry in haste, regret it at leisure." But you leapt -- in both posts -- to the conclusion that he was victimized by her and that she is not forgiven and must pray, etc. Excuse me? It's not by works that we are saved. I believe Christ took care of that; she clearly described the moral dilemma and struggle with repentance. That's what He is interested in.
A divorce, all that led up to it and all that is in its wake is one of the most difficult things a Christian ever experiences. Save your armchair Christian counseling for after you have completed a suitable course of study and can show some humility and appreciation for her journey. Unless you are stainless, or an ordained confessor, it's not your call to pile on about the deepest sorrow of her life. God wants us broken, and this is how she got there.
If this is instead a Catholic/Protestant condemnation thing you are doing, it's not going to be palatable on FR outside the Religion Forum Catholic Caucus threads.
Enjoy your delusion.
Have you taken a look at middle aged men out there, Mr. America?
I know we rarely agree on a lot, but you go girl.
I personally know at least four women who married/hooked up with jailbirds.
And they were ones I didn’t consider nuts before that.
****Many dont like James Dobson, but Im fine with him. Im pretty sure it was him who defined masculinity this way:
1. A battle to fight.
2. An adventure to live.
3. A beauty to rescue.****
There’s also the book, *Wild at Heart* by John Eldredge, who says the same thing.
And you know what?
Trump is doing the alpha male thing and while the MSM is pitching a fit, his popularity ratings continue to climb.
I worked full time for ten years before I met mr. mm and was THRILLED to quit and be a wife.
I have worked part time for some extra income, but I was the kind of stay-at-home mom the feminists love to hate.
Stayed home, had kinds, raised them, homeschooled them, baked my own bread, did my own canning, love to sew and garden.
Mr. mm once called me *hopelessly domestic*, a label I wear with pride.
While there were inequities that needed to be addressed when the women’s movement started, like anything, it went on to excess and has been ruined and ruined things and as a whole, I reject the feminist agenda, and cringe when I see girly men in skinny jeans.
Give me an alpha male any day of the week.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.