Posted on 07/31/2015 11:49:41 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows
The time has come to take action against thread hijackers.
Let me begin with an example of thread hijacking:
Like most Freepers, I am pro-life. Abortion and and euthanasia appall me, and marketing the results even more so. I support candidates who oppose the culture of death, and cheer when it is thwarted.
I also do not find it necessary to mention these facts on EVERY. FREAKING. THREAD.
There is a certain type of Freeper, though, who has no such restraint. For these zealots, any thread that deviates from the pro-life cause, no matter how trivially, is a heresy that must be immediately suppressed.
You are shocked by cruelty to animals? I guess that means you couldn't care less about the cruelty of THE MILLIONS OF CHILDREN ABORTED EVERY YEAR!!!!!
You lost a beloved pet? Why can't you mourn THE THOUSANDS OF ABORTED BABIES WHO DIED THE SAME DAY?!!!!
Your car shredded its transmission and you're looking at thousands of dollars in repairs? Why aren't you thinking about THE BABIES WHO WILL NEVER GROW UP TO BE AUTO MECHANICS BECAUSE THEY WERE ABORTED?!!!!
(OK, maybe I made that last one up.)
Arguing with these people is pointless. It's the same principle as wrestling with a pig - you just get muddy and the pig enjoys it. Similarly, trying to convince them that they are being rude is a waste of time - THE CAUSE is far more important little things like courtesy and respect.
So, what can we do about it?
We can get drunk.
I hereby propose The Thread Hijack Drinking Game. The rules are simple: When a poster tries to hijack an unrelated thread to his or her pet cause, you 1) reply to the hijack attempt by quoting the text in question, followed by the word "DRINK!", and 2) Take a drink (or any volume) of your favorite beverage (alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Moderation is suggested on animal cruelty threads to avoid alcohol poisoning.
This game will not, I admit, solve the thread hijacking problem. But after a certain number of attempts we will no longer care.
And if anyone is offended by my little proposal, I can only say...
DRINK!
People may say that I am not as kind and generous as I perhaps think I am, but I notice you haven’t given up your position yet.
James and Frank will appreciate the reams of used paper. I had that whole batch of letters with your name down as “Bub.” Probably a cat on the keyboard at just the wrong time.
People should also note that I haven’t expelled you to the science labs of the Thrust Ring for your subtle aggressions.
Oh, dear. I thought my aggressions were so subtle that you hadn’t noticed, or had attributed those minor incidents to the catz.
I was willing to attribute them to goats if necessary. The only other applicants for your position have been from among Darksheare’s life-challenged minions.
Darks has minions? I bet his are cuter, and smarter than Disney’s yellow ones.
If ceirdwyn is one of Dark’s minions, I wanna be a minion too.
One of Ceiling Cat’s kittens.
Purry White color. Smudge on nose indicates some Basement Cat as well.
It was a goat that chewed on your desk.
Morning! The source says the baby floofy is pure-bred Himalayan.
I’m so sleepy I didn’t see the floof.
Imagine it’s tickling you and then shedding on your sweater.
Those who have have not lived to tell.
With this, a pointy stick, and a bit of dirt to draw on, you can establish communications with any alien species intelligent enough to understand it, and having eyes with which to see.
That is, if you're not dealing with alien species that will just grab the pointy stick, skewer you with it, and take you back to see how you taste with barbeque sauce.
I gave out pencils once.
I had to pick most of them out of my lawn the next day.
I decided I would never again hand things out to ungrateful nits who ring my doorbell.
That includes the IRS, but that’s a different story.
They didn’t have one of those at our Walmart.
Go reverse trick-or-treating. Hand them something from your bag full of candy.
THAT will blow some circuits.
So you’re going as Hillary?
Heh, good one. But I will look MUCH better than Hillary.
She could have a mental-ward escapee costume, like Bill’s ...
If they ask what you are, say you’re a “supply-sider.”
I need the floof this morning. Thanks.
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