A Modest Proposal: The Thread Hijack Drinking Game [vanity]

Still me. | Today | Me

[Slings and Arrows]

The time has come to take action against thread hijackers.

Let me begin with an example of thread hijacking:

Like most Freepers, I am pro-life. Abortion and and euthanasia appall me, and marketing the results even more so. I support candidates who oppose the culture of death, and cheer when it is thwarted.

I also do not find it necessary to mention these facts on EVERY. FREAKING. THREAD.

There is a certain type of Freeper, though, who has no such restraint. For these zealots, any thread that deviates from the pro-life cause, no matter how trivially, is a heresy that must be immediately suppressed.

You are shocked by cruelty to animals? I guess that means you couldn't care less about the cruelty of THE MILLIONS OF CHILDREN ABORTED EVERY YEAR!!!!!

You lost a beloved pet? Why can't you mourn THE THOUSANDS OF ABORTED BABIES WHO DIED THE SAME DAY?!!!!

Your car shredded its transmission and you're looking at thousands of dollars in repairs? Why aren't you thinking about THE BABIES WHO WILL NEVER GROW UP TO BE AUTO MECHANICS BECAUSE THEY WERE ABORTED?!!!!

(OK, maybe I made that last one up.)

Arguing with these people is pointless. It's the same principle as wrestling with a pig - you just get muddy and the pig enjoys it. Similarly, trying to convince them that they are being rude is a waste of time - THE CAUSE is far more important little things like courtesy and respect.

So, what can we do about it?

We can get drunk.

I hereby propose The Thread Hijack Drinking Game. The rules are simple: When a poster tries to hijack an unrelated thread to his or her pet cause, you 1) reply to the hijack attempt by quoting the text in question, followed by the word "DRINK!", and 2) Take a drink (or any volume) of your favorite beverage (alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Moderation is suggested on animal cruelty threads to avoid alcohol poisoning.

This game will not, I admit, solve the thread hijacking problem. But after a certain number of attempts we will no longer care.

And if anyone is offended by my little proposal, I can only say...

DRINK!

[Tax-chick]

It’s good to have standards!

We have Bill’s gown stitched up to the sides, but I’m not going to cut his neckline until I have him here to put it on. I’ve had several experiences with making the neck openings too big, and then you have to put in darts, add a collar, or other interventions that would make it over-engineered for a hospital gown.

[ArGee]

Which might wake up their bats.

Seriously - what did the Mets bring to the game last night? Bats - home, pitching - home, defense - home. Hair? DeGrom brought hair.

[ArGee]

If you’re not lighting any candles you won’t set your house on fire.

[ArGee]

Well, another day at DSNY for the record books. At least I got to mentor a couple of kids about the value of working on one thing until it was done before picking up another. I don’t know why kids these days can’t just stay on one task. Besides I have to get this status update done before I actually leave and I completely forgot to reply to this email and

What was I talking about again?

L8r.

[NicknamedBob]

"It blows my mind to think how insignificant we really are.

But I think I'm cuter than a T-Rex"

It goes both ways. You can show a diagram of the Pythagorean Theorem on every world within thirty thousand light years, and 99 point 99999999 for as many nines as you want to list percent of the residents will not be able to make heads or tails of it.

I consider the Pythagorean Theorem to be like the Rosetta Stone of mathematics. It shows the same thing geometrically that it does algebraically, and it can even be expressed in English.

With this, a pointy stick, and a bit of dirt to draw on, you can establish communications with any alien species intelligent enough to understand it, and having eyes with which to see.

Just don't veer into politics.

The ability to comprehend this kind of thing makes us unusually significant in the Universe, because we can relate to and comprehend mathematics, which is bigger than the Universe in every way that counts.

"But I think I'm cuter than a T-Rex ..."

You are, but then you've never seen a T-Rex dressed in a tutu and carrying a parasol.

[NoCmpromiz]

a T-Rex dressed in a tutu and carrying a parasol.

Now THAT would make an interesting Halloween outfit..

Speaking of which, for Halloween I'm giving out these..

I don't get many repeat visits..

[null and void]

[Gefn]

Um no, never seen. T-Rex in s tutu and parasol, unless you count Barney. I don’t know what kind of dinosaur he is.

[Gefn]

I shan’t go trick or treating at your house, I guess.

I still don’t have a costume. :(

[NoCmpromiz]

Here's a cat pic for whoever needs one.. ;-)

[Tax-chick]

You’re cuter than Pythagoras riding a T-Rex, Bob.

[Tax-chick]

Would you or the cat like a hospital gown so you can be an escaped mental patient? Bill’s is almost finished. Tomorrow I’ll stitch the neckline and Sally will do the hems, and then we’ll collaborate on the zipper.

I bought a witch hat at Walmart. I plan to wear black tights, a black dress that’s too young for me, lace-up heels ... and the hat.

[NoCmpromiz]

Barney. I don’t know what kind of dinosaur he is.

Barney is a Purple Doofasaurus. Fortunately, he is extinct. Except as reruns...

[Tax-chick]

I had the idea he was an upright hippopotamus.

[NoCmpromiz]

so you can be an escaped mental patient?

Nope.

Don't want to attract attention. I didn't like the food there... ;-)

[NoCmpromiz]

[NoCmpromiz]

Actually according to the ‘creator’ Barney is supposedly a purple and green Tyrannosaurus Rex. But Doofasaurus is a better description.. ;-)

[Gefn]

The mental patient costume is interesting,

I like the witch.

[NicknamedBob]

"You're cuter than Pythagoras riding a T-Rex, Bob."

The Imperial Weatherman notes that his Executive Secretary is angling for some kind of office benefits.

Okay, you can have a ream or two of paper for your kids to play with, after it's been printed on one side.

No one can say I don't have a tender and generous nature.

[NoCmpromiz]

Halloween costume suggestion...