Posted on 03/17/2015 3:45:35 PM PDT by goodwithagun
Have you noticed we are bickering and arguing more lately? Is it six years of obama, or should we blame Bush? Pour yourself a drink, hard or soft, and tell us a good joke. Cheers, to the best people I know!
It certainly is.
I gave up beer for lent once. A friend saw me drinking a Gin and Tonic. She said, I thought you gave up alcohol for lent. I said No, I gave up beer not booze.
n Irish priest is driving down a highway and is pulled over for speeding. The policeman smells alcohol on the priests breath and then sees an empty wine bottle beside him. He asks the priest, Sir, have you been drinking? The priest responds, No officer, just water, The policeman asks, Then why do I smell wine? The priest looks at the bottle and says, The Good Lord! Hes done it again!
Yuengling
http://www.yuengling.com
Here’s my joke:
A guy got a job tending bar in the evening in a small neighborhood place. The owner left his phone number and told the bartender to call him if there were any problems.
He started on a Monday, and things were going well until Wednesday, when a group of 10 guys came in together. Turned out they were deaf mutes. Bartender called his boss, who said,
“Oh, I forgot to tell you about them. They come in every Wednesday night. If one of them holds up one finger, he wants a beer, if he holds up two fingers, he wants a glass of wine, and if he holds up three fingers, he wants a shot of whiskey.”
After the phone call, things were going very well at the bar; the bartender was able to read the signs that the owner had told him about, and the group was buying a lot of drinks.
But, then, about a half hour before closing time, each person at the deaf mute table was holding up both hands and wiggling all of his fingers. All of them were smiling at one another.
When the puzzled bartender called his boss and described the scene, the owner said,
“Uh-oh! You’ll never get rid of them now; they’re singing!”
Here's a photoshop done in 2013 by a Russian MP:
Apparently she got a lot of flack for it, but this was the first I'd heard of it. I think it's hilarious, and would be funny whatever the race of the subjects.
LIKE!
Pat and Murphy out fishing and the boat motor dies.
After two days and drifting miles from the coast, they find a bottle in the water. Pat rubs the bottle and a genie poofs out.
I will grant you one wish, says the genie.
Without a thought, Pat says, I wish to turn the sea into Guinness.
The genie says, Your wish is my command, and the sea turns into Guinness.
Murphy yells at Pat, You fool! Now, well have to pee in the boat!
A and W Root Beer!
Highland Park 12-year-old single malt
Here’s a health to the company:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0gLJ9VBMt4
Charles Shaw Chardonnay (two buck chuck) to wash down a grilled swordfish steak. I’ll look for corned beef tomorrow when the price is reduced.
Dam... Now that is funny!
Thank you!
Having one Guinness to compliment the Quesada Keg cigar I have been saving. Supposedly formulated to go with stout. It is a bit dissapointing, much like the Guinness. Soon will be opening a bottle of Red Breast 21. Should be an upgrade.
Dad to son: “Son, if you don’t stop playing with yourself you’ll go blind.”
Son: “I’m over here Dad.”
OK, one more:
An Irishman sends a text message to his wife: I’m at the pub. If not home in 45 minutes read this again.
Guinness Extra Stout
lol!
Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London...
Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye.
The sign read, "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair"...
Paddy said to his pal, "Mick look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of those and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune.
Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking 'cause if they hear our accents, they might think we're thicko's from Ireland and try to screw us.
I'll put on me best English accent."
"Roight y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will. You do all da business" said Mick.
They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice, "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each.
I'll back up me truck ready to load 'em on, so I will."
The owner of the shop said quietly, "You're from out west of Dublin, aren't you?"
"Well yes," said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?"
The owner replied, "This is a dry-cleaners."
probably black tea.
Here's hoping that Bibi will drive the "snakes" out of Israel.
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