Posted on 05/09/2014 9:07:18 PM PDT by NKP_Vet
A woman says to her lawyer "I want to divorce my husband." "On what grounds?" "Grounds? We have two acres at the edge of town with a big lawn and some fruit trees." "No, that's not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?" "Yes, we have a two car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage." The lawyer is getting exasperated, "Does he beat you up?" "No, I'm up by 6:30 and sometimes he doesn't get up until after I've left for work." "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" "We just can't seem to communicate."
Great joke, I have heard it before but my version is a little bit racist. I’d be asked to leave if I told it.
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “Double my IQ” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting Shakespeare.
Then the second fisherman said: “Triple my IQ” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed.
The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his IQ. The mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” the fisherman excitingly said “Yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman...
So his IQ was like 15 to start, right?!
I got a big kick out of a thread someone started on the stupid stuff they did growing up and it didn’t kill them. Lots of funny stories there.
all depends ... what do you consider a woman’s IQ? Be careful ... they (the women) watch you.
Every Friday.
No. Whassthat?
Ping Lucky9teen to get on the ping list.
Not so for me and my husband. I’m the listener, for the most part.
Thanks. Not exactly what I was looking for. Just some funny, simple, non-politcal jokes like some of the ones on this thread.
Hey...just a joke!
but I never kid especially about the Ladies.
Well, how nice for you... How about not taking things so seriously?
Don’t do that ... you’ll never live through it.
What are the laws in your state for alimony, child support, and custody...Don’t tell me, just use them to protect yourself. If you have an addicted person who is dangerous to you children, then get that evidence to present to the court.
Surely there are people who can testify for you, and maybe some documents to substantiate your reliability as well as the addicted person’s lack of responsible behavior.
Find people who have went through this in a forum in your state, or maybe a support group. The more you know about how others have fared the better off you are. If she has a great attorney, get a better one. Your children are your priority, and it’s your need to protect their future and safety.
bkmk
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