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Centurion: What's this thing? "ROMANES EUNT DOMUS"? "People called Romanes they go the house?"

Brian: It... it says "Romans go home".

Centurion: No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"?

Brian hesitates

Centurion: Come on, come on!

Brian: (uncertain) "ROMANUS".

Centurion: Goes like?

Brian: "-ANUS".

Centurion: Vocative plural of "-ANUS" is?

Brian: "-ANI".

Centurion: (takes paintbrush from Brian and paints over) "RO-MA-NI". "EUNT"? What is "EUNT"?

Brian: "Go".

Centurion: Conjugate the verb "to go"!

Brian: "IRE"; "EO", "IS", "IT", "IMUS", "ITIS", "EUNT".

Centurion: So "EUNT" is ...?

Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".

Centurion: But "Romans, go home!" is an order, so you must use the ...?

He lifts Brian by his short hairs

Brian: The ... imperative.

Centurion: Which is?

Brian: Um, oh, oh, "I", "I"!

Centurion: How many Romans? (pulls harder)

Brian: Plural, plural! "ITE".

Centurion strikes over "EUNT" and paints "ITE" on the wall

Centurion: "I-TE". "DOMUS"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?

Brian: (very anxious) Dative?

Centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat

Brian: Ahh! No, ablative, ablative, sir. No, the, accusative, accusative, ah, DOMUM, sir.

Centurion: Except that "DOMUS" takes the ...?

Brian: ... the locative, sir!

Centurion: Which is?

Brian: "DOMUM".

Centurion: (satisfied) "DOMUM"... He strikes out "DOMUS" and writes "DOMUM"

Centurian: ..."-MUM". Understand?

Brian: Yes sir.

Centurion: Now write it down a hundred times.

Brian: Yes sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar, sir.

Centurion: (saluting) Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

Brian: (very relieved) Oh thank you sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar and everything, sir!