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To: Lazamataz

I’m jealous of Dave. I wish mine would just leave.


21 posted on 06/07/2011 4:09:00 PM PDT by lefty-lie-spy (Stay metal. For the Horde \m/("_")\m/ - via iPhone from Tokyo.)
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To: lefty-lie-spy
I’m jealous of Dave. I wish mine would just leave.

She didn't say a word about leaving. She's gonna clean out bank, and STAY with him.

Worst of all possible worlds, I suspect.

23 posted on 06/07/2011 4:13:15 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Anthony Weiner is a little cocky.)
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To: lefty-lie-spy
I’m jealous of Dave. I wish mine would just leave.

This reminds me of one of the stories in James Herriot's All Creatures Great And Small:

Or the day when I had to visit Luke Benson at his smallholding in Hillom Village. Luke was a powerful man of about sixty and had the unusual characteristic of speaking always through his clenched teeth. He literally articulated every word by moving only his lips, showing the rows of square, horse-like incisors clamped tightly together. It leant a peculiar intensity to his simplest utterance; and as he spoke, his eyes glared.

Most of his conversation consisted of scathing remarks about the other inhabitants of Hillom. In fact he seemed to harbour a cordial dislike of the human race in general. Yet strangely enough I found him a very reasonable man to deal with; he accepted my diagnoses of his animals' ailments without question and appeared to be trying to be friendly by addressing me repeatedly as 'Jems', which was the nearest he could get to my name with his teeth together.

His fiercest hatred was reserved for his neighbor and fellow smallholder, a little lame man called Gill to whom Luke referred invariably and unkindly as 'Yon 'oppin youth'. A bitter feud had raged between them for many years and I had seen Luke smile on only two occasions -- once when Mr. Gill's sow lost its litter and again when he had a stack burnt down.

When Mr. Gill's wife ran away with a man who came round the farms selling brushes it caused a sensation. Nothing like that had ever happened in Hillom before and a wave of delighted horror swept through the village. This, I thought, would be the high point of Luke Benson's life and when I had to visit a heifer of his I expected to find him jubilant. But Luke was gloomy.

As I examined and treated his animal he remained silent and it wasn't until I went into the kitchen to wash my hands that he spoke. He glanced round warily at his wife, a gaunt, grim-faced woman who was applying blacklead to the grate.

'You'll have heard about yon 'oppin youth's missus runnin' off?' he said.

'Yes,' I replied, 'I did hear about it.' I waited for Luke to gloat but he seemed strangely ill at ease. He fidgeted until I had finished drying my hands then he glared at me and bared his strong teeth.

Ah'll tell you something, Jems,' he ground out. 'Ah wish somebody would tek MA bugger!'

Cheers!

60 posted on 06/07/2011 5:59:18 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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