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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

Posted on 02/13/2009 4:49:16 AM PST by Lucky9teen

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To: Liberty Valance

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes.

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”
Anonymous

“Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.”
Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.

“Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.”
Anonymous

“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.”
Hoosier Farmer

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
Erich Segal

“Love wouldn’t be blind if the Braille weren’t so damned much fun.”
Anonymous

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.”
Aerosmith

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
Jules Renard

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.”
Peter Ustinov

“Love is a grave mental disease.”
Plato


41 posted on 02/13/2009 6:14:22 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant)
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To: Sax

42 posted on 02/13/2009 6:16:28 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant)
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To: Lucky9teen
Today's the day for a milestone in Unix Time!!
43 posted on 02/13/2009 6:26:09 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, ‘Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but..... something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.’

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, ‘You’ve got $10,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did.....better in fact! However, the thing is, it does not come cheap. It’s $1,000 an inch.’

The man perks up at this. ‘So,’ the doctor says, ‘it’s for you to decide how many inches you want. But it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a six inch one before, and you decide to go for a ten incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a ten inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a six incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.’

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. ‘So,’ says the doctor, ‘have you spoken with your wife?’

‘I have,’ says the man.

‘And has she helped you in making the decision?’

‘Yes, she has,’ says the man.

‘And what is it?’ asks the doctor.

‘We’re getting new countertops”


44 posted on 02/13/2009 6:27:56 AM PST by Dacula (You are where you are by the choices you make)
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To: ErnBatavia

LOL! That’s great!


45 posted on 02/13/2009 6:30:42 AM PST by OB1kNOb (Obama? No Hope. Forget Change. Just more of the same old same old. Only worse. Much worse.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Two Reasons Why It ‘s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.


46 posted on 02/13/2009 6:32:39 AM PST by OB1kNOb (Obama? No Hope. Forget Change. Just more of the same old same old. Only worse. Much worse.)
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To: Lucky9teen

47 posted on 02/13/2009 6:33:03 AM PST by BenLurkin (Mornie` utulie`. Mornie` alantie`.)
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To: Lucky9teen

A blonde calls an airline and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?’

The agent replies, ‘Just a minute..’

‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.


48 posted on 02/13/2009 6:33:48 AM PST by OB1kNOb (Obama? No Hope. Forget Change. Just more of the same old same old. Only worse. Much worse.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket
49 posted on 02/13/2009 6:37:42 AM PST by girlscout
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To: The_Victor
Photobucket
50 posted on 02/13/2009 6:41:16 AM PST by girlscout
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To: Liberty Valance

51 posted on 02/13/2009 6:43:43 AM PST by BenLurkin (Mornie` utulie`. Mornie` alantie`.)
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To: WakeUpAndVote

52 posted on 02/13/2009 6:45:09 AM PST by BenLurkin (Mornie` utulie`. Mornie` alantie`.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Does she have a sister?


53 posted on 02/13/2009 6:49:48 AM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: NerdDad

bump


54 posted on 02/13/2009 6:50:08 AM PST by NerdDad (Aug 7, 1981, I married my soulmate, CDBEAR. 27 years and I'm still teenager-crazy in love with her.)
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To: Dead Corpse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9J9rTZJBmw
Pat Benatar - Love Is A Battlefield


55 posted on 02/13/2009 6:53:08 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a Simple Manner for a Happy Life ;o)
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To: Lucky9teen
Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"
You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone.
A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people

Your flirting style: 100% natural

What turns you off: serious relationship talks

Why you're hot: you're totally addicting
What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

56 posted on 02/13/2009 6:55:44 AM PST by Monkey Face (Don't steal. The government hates competition.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"
A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love
What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

57 posted on 02/13/2009 6:57:42 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"
You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.
You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays

Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get
What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

58 posted on 02/13/2009 6:57:49 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Gentlemen, please. Rest your sphincters.)
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To: Lucky9teen

59 posted on 02/13/2009 7:26:18 AM PST by Eaker (The Two Loudest Sounds in the World.....Bang When it should have been Click and the Reverse.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"
A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love
What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

60 posted on 02/13/2009 7:35:40 AM PST by fredhead (Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
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