going to try to sleep a little more before I run errands before the snows here start.. want to share this from a friend many of you know.. Bevlar (from AM email). I have seen it quite a few times & always laugh..
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25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1.*_ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE _*.
‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.’
2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*.
‘You better pray that will come out of the carpet.’
3.*_ My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL _*.
‘If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!’
4.*_ My mother taught me LOGIC_*.
‘ Because I said so, that’s why.’
5.*_ My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*.
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.’
6.*_ My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*.
‘Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.’
7.*_ My mother taught me IRONY _*
‘Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.’
8.*_ My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.
‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’
9.*_ My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM_*.
‘Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!’
10.*_ My mother taught me about STAMINA_*.
‘You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.’
11.*_ My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.
‘This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’
12.*_ My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.
‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!’
13.*_ My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*.
‘I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.’
14.*_ My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*.
‘Stop acting like your father!’
15.*_ My mother taught me about ENVY _*.
‘There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.’
16.*_ My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*.
‘Just wait until we get home.’
17.*_ My mother taught me about RECEIVING _*.
‘You are going to get it when you get home!’
18.*_ My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.
‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.’
19.*_ My mother taught me ESP_*.
‘Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?’
20.*_ My mother taught me HUMOUR_*.
‘When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.’
21.*_ My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT _*.
‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.’
22.* _My mother taught me GENETICS._*
‘You’re just like your father.’
23.*_ My mother taught me about my ROOTS_*.
‘Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?’
24.*_ My mother taught me WISDOM_*.
‘When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.’
25. And my favorite:*_ My mother taught me about JUSTICE_**_ _*
‘One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
