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10 Demands Hamas Is Making In The Peace Deal
Babylon Bee ^ | 10/09/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/09/2025 12:23:36 PM PDT by DFG

President Trump may have finally achieved what many long thought impossible, as Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase of a peace agreement, but this ceasefire didn't come without conditions from Hamas.

Here are 10 demands Hamas is making as part of the peace deal:

1. Israel must eliminate 100% of its Jews: This is a dealbreaker for Hamas.

2. New pagers: The last batch had some problems.

3. A new fleet of paragliders: They have assured everyone it's only for recreational purposes.

4. Goats. Lots of goats: They won't say why.

5. Super Bowl tickets: They're apparently huge Bad Bunny fans.

6. 100 virgins each: They will settle for 72, but are setting the bar high for negotiation.

7. Israel must continue to keep Greta Thunberg away from Gaza: The Gazans are terrified she'll eventually reach their shore.

8. Signed 8x10s of Tucker Carlson: Entirely not related to the goats.

9. A nuke: For, like, their power grid or something.

10. The entire land of Israel: All of it. Without all the Israelis. Is that too much to ask?

Perfectly reasonable demands, right? Let us know what you think in the comments.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; gaza; hamas; humor; satire

1 posted on 10/09/2025 12:23:36 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

and to stop calling them Hamass


2 posted on 10/09/2025 12:31:21 PM PDT by butlerweave (Fateh)
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To: DFG

Is schmuckee their lead negotiator?


3 posted on 10/09/2025 12:32:55 PM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? On hold! Enlisted USN 1967 proudly. 🚫💉! 🇮🇱🙏! Winning currently!)
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To: DFG

“ Signed 8x10s of Tucker Carlson: Entirely not related to the goats”

Poor Candace gets no love.


4 posted on 10/09/2025 12:34:27 PM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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To: DFG

#7 !!!!!!


5 posted on 10/09/2025 2:38:18 PM PDT by NonValueAdded (First, I was a clinger, then deplorable, now I'm garbage. Feel the love? )
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To: NonValueAdded

Free Palestine
Free Palestine
Free Palestine...
FROM Greta Thunberg...


6 posted on 10/10/2025 10:26:40 AM PDT by Does so ("Things will now change in Minneapolis AND AT HOME"....Dem☭¢rat... ∅ ™ ¿ ¡ ☞ ½¼)
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