I always loved the story about the lady with the talking parrot that kept swearing and cursing, and she told the bird she would put it in the freezer if it didn’t stop saying “g*ddammit” and “oh sh*t”, etc., finally she reached the end of her patience, put the parrot in the freezer to let him think about it for a few minutes, the parrot gets in there, the frost all over the place, sees a frozen turkey and says “what the hell are YOU in here for, sayin’ f**k?!?”
Hahaha I forgot that one!