hahahaha!Excerpt:
Kerry's Teleportation Revelation Shocks World
In stunning announcement, candidate blows lid off top secret Pentagon project
By V.K. Bestertester, Staff Writer
FRESNO, CA — In a shocking revelation, John Kerry exposed a decades-old Department of Defense secret: Matter teleportation devices have been in use by the US Navy since at least 1968.
Above: Kerry Shown Entering Teleporter
"The Navy sent me on a top-secret mission into Cambodia using one of these thingys." Kerry revealed. "They wanted to slip me and some Special Forces guys across the border without anyone, even my shipmates, knowing about it. So, they brought this device out on to the river on Christmas Eve 1968. We were anchored about 50 miles from the Cambodian border at the time. I was ordered to go the the roof of my Swift Boat with my hookah, er, tape recorder and just close my eyes. Next thing I know, there's a buzzing sound and poof! I was in Cambodia."