Times is hard, Dan. Ah but we gather at your feet to ... Nah, Phaedrus, back off, the guy's already been beat.
You can win with "nothing" in poker (see Cool Hand Luke) if you fool somebody aside from yourself. You have two problems:
1) This isn't poker.
2) You don't fool anybody.
Truly, you're a legend in your own mind.
(It never ceases to amaze me how often creationists consider it a personal "victory" when someone concludes that they're not worth wasting time on.)