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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Kids Arrested For Driving Scooters Over Pride Flag Wishing They Had Burned American Flag Instead

    06/10/2024 4:31:03 AM PDT · by servo1969 · 5 replies
    BabylonBee.com ^ | 6-8-2024 | Bee Staff
    SPOKANE, WA — The three teenagers who were arrested for riding scooters on a Pride flag painted on the road were kicking themselves for not simply lighting the American flag on fire and threatening violence instead. "I guess we picked the wrong flag," said one of the teens, whose name has been withheld for anonymity. "I had no idea the Pride flag was so much more sacred than the American flag." According to sources, the teenagers were surprised to learn they could deface statues, light smoke bombs outside the White House, hold up a bloody mask of the President, threaten...
  • Today's Toons 6/10/24

    06/10/2024 1:19:38 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 12 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/10/24 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Young Girl’s Reaction to Gay Men Shows She Thinks They Are Mentally Sick 🤪

    06/09/2024 7:23:47 PM PDT · by Morgana · 10 replies
    Conservative Twins ^ | June 9, 2024 | Conservative Twins
    FROM the show: "...I don't get gay man they like Embrace femininity and women's clothes but then y'all try to act like women and women don't even act like this yeah women don't even walk like that I look at a woman on a catwalk she doesn't walk like that yeah the gay man has his own strut..."
  • If TRUMP goes to jail: NEW stand-up joke by Tyler Fischer HUMOR - 2:50 MIN)

    06/08/2024 6:23:31 PM PDT · by bitt · 10 replies
    https://www.youtube.com ^ | 6/1/2024 | Tyler Fischer
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPi2uAUw6Ws
  • San Francisco Opens First Taxpayer-Funded 'Free' Food Market—What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

    06/08/2024 5:50:40 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 25 replies
    Red State ^ | 6-8-24 | Mike Miller
    Let's not beat around the bush, and instead just get down to brass tacks. San Francisco has opened its first $5.5 million free food “market” in an area where many grocery stores have left due to high crime. Approved residents simply show a benefits eligibility card, load their carts with whatever they want, check out — to keep track of outgoing inventory — and leave without paying a dime.
  • ‘Migrant influencer’ Leonel Moreno can’t afford attorney despite flashing wads of cash on TikTok: sources

    06/08/2024 3:41:20 PM PDT · by Steely Tom · 3 replies
    The New York Post ^ | 26 April 2024 | Jennie Taer
    “Migrant influencer” Leonel Moreno is having trouble coming up with the money for an attorney despite previously waving huge wads of $100 bills on social media, The Post has exclusively learned. Moreno boasted daily in TikTok videos about how much money he’d made from government welfare programs and begging on the streets before his March 29 arrest in Columbus, Ohio. He antagonized fellow migrants and regular Americans alike with incendiary statements such as, “That’s the difference between you and me. I’m always going to make lots of money without much work, and you’re always going to be exploited and miserable...
  • Judge Merchan Gets Exclusive Invite to Trump's Potential Inauguration Day

    06/08/2024 2:37:48 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 26 replies
    Town Hall ^ | 6-8-24 | Sarah Arnold
    Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) explains why he invited the corrupt Manhattan judge who oversaw former President Donald Trump’s criminal trial which ended in 12 jurors finding him guilty go 34 counts of felony charges which should have otherwise been misdemeanors. The Republican is so confident that Trump will beat President Joe Biden in November and continue his legacy in the White House that he invited Judge Juan Merchan to take a front row seat at the historical event. “My view of inviting him to the inauguration is to show my recognition that what Merchan is doing unintentionally is re-electing… Donald...
  • Are You A New Yorker Moving To Florida? Here Are 10 Things To Prepare For

    06/08/2024 12:02:21 PM PDT · by Twotone · 35 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | June 7, 2024 | Staff
    So, you've decided to join all the cool New Yorkers who are moving to Florida? Congratulations! It'll be just like snowbirding, except it'll last forever! Unfortunately, it's been said that New Yorkers often experience a significant culture shock when they first arrive in the Sunshine State. Fortunately, The Babylon Bee is here to help you through the adjustment with this helpful list of 10 things that you should prepare for: 1. When it's hot, that's called "summer": It's also called "winter," "spring," and "fall." 2. Tax dollars won't have to pay for immigrants to live in Marriott hotels: Instead, your...
  • Biden Admin Hires NASCAR Pit Crew To Rapidly Change Biden’s Diaper Without Anyone Noticing

    06/08/2024 6:47:08 AM PDT · by Navy Patriot · 24 replies
    The Bee ^ | June 7, 2024 | Staff
    WASHINGTON, DC — In a little-publicized move, the Biden Administration recently recruited a former NASCAR pit crew to make lightning-fast changes to the President's diaper whenever he soils his pants. The scheme was first revealed after NASCAR crew leaders began to be bombarded with ads seeking a "Race Car Pit Crew That Can Also Change Diapers." The ads specified that the crew would have to be able to change a diaper within 3.4 seconds, or "fast enough that nobody can notice it." "We initially responded to the ads and were asked to come try out," said Brandon Keyes, rear changer...
  • Getting fit is great – but it could turn you into a rightwing jerk [Grauniad]

    06/07/2024 10:10:31 PM PDT · by Olog-hai · 47 replies
    Manchester Guardian ^ | Mon 3 Jun 2024 10.02 EDT | Zoe Williams
    The more self-actualized you become, the higher you are on self-righteousness, blaming other people’s problems on their failure to be as healthy as you.OK, this is going to sound a little hypocritical, as I have hard-recommended every activity and pursuit, every wellness wheeze and rejuvenation exercise the modern world has dreamed up. […] But there is a dark side to wellness, which I always, for shorthand, thought of as political: getting fit makes you more rightwing. The mechanism is incredibly simple: you embark on this voyage of self-improvement, and more or less immediately see results. You feel stronger and more...
  • Today's Toons 6/7/24

    06/07/2024 1:25:22 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 26 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/7/24 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • 23-year-old woman crowned Miss Alabama in National American Miss pageant

    06/06/2024 7:18:39 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 96 replies
    cbs42 ^ | 6-3-24 | Summer Poole
    She’s beauty, and she’s grace — that’s what judges thought about an Atmore woman who they crowned Miss Alabama in the National American Miss pageant. Sara Milliken, now known as Miss Alabama, is a 23-year-old who competed for the crown for the third time over Memorial Day weekend.
  • Biden Announces Plan To Pretend To Care About The Border Until November 6

    06/05/2024 1:11:18 PM PDT · by Navy Patriot · 9 replies
    The Bee ^ | June 5, 2024 | Staff
    WASHINGTON, D.C. — With political pressure mounting over the continued border crisis, President Biden has announced a plan to pretend to care about the issue until November 6. "After issuing executive orders to open the border and let ten million migrants through, we want everyone to know that now President Biden cares very deeply about border security," said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, winking for effect. "We 'don't want people crossing the border' to 'vote for Biden' and 'inflate Electoral College votes for Democratic states'," explained Jean-Pierre doing little scare quotes. According to sources, internal polling on the issue showed that...
  • Anti-Trump crossdressing man smashes car into county jail before hurling snakes and shouting 'the devil told me to kill everyone' (Florida)

    06/06/2024 6:12:31 AM PDT · by dynachrome · 59 replies
    Daily Mail ^ | 6-5-24 | ALEX HAMMER
    A homeless man wearing women's clothes intentionally rammed his car into the side of a county jail in Florida Monday night, before reportedly embarking on a rant about Donald Trump. Joseph Leedy, 40, stands accused of four counts of aggravated assault on an officer and one count of criminal mischief resulting in damage of more than $1,000 as a result - as a series of photos show the damage he caused. Surveillance footage show the suspect driving from the Martin County Jail parking lot, up the walkway, and through it glass lobby doors. He was stopped by a set of...
  • Today's Toons 6/6/24

    06/06/2024 3:47:38 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/6/24 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • New Jersey Democrats Elect Dead Congressman Donald Payne Jr. in Primary

    06/05/2024 7:59:17 AM PDT · by dynachrome · 34 replies
    Gateway Pundit ^ | 6-5-24 | Anthony Scott
    Democrat voters in New Jersey elected deceased Representative Donald Payne Jr. in Tuesday’s primary. As The Gateway Pundit previously reported, Representative Donald M. Payne Jr. (D-NJ) died on April 24th at 65. Before his death, Payne spent the last two weeks in a coma due to having a heart attack and complications with diabetes. Despite being dead, Payne won New Jersey’s 10th District Democratic primary with 99.9% of the vote.
  • Today's Toons 6/5/24

    06/05/2024 1:24:32 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/5/24 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • 10 Most Terrifying Examples Of LGBTQ People Being Oppressed In America Today

    06/04/2024 12:18:18 PM PDT · by Twotone · 14 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | June 3, 2024 | Staff
    As we weather yet another Pride month, it can be helpful to remember what Pride means and the hardships experienced by members of the LGBTQ community in this country — even now. The Babylon Bee has put together the following list of sobering examples of how LGBTQ people are oppressed in the United States to this very day: 1. There are only 37 parades in their honor per day: Any number of daily parades less than 40 is equal to a slap in the face. 2. They are only represented by 7 characters in every TV show: There will be...
  • No Foul Called After Caitlin Clark Crushed By Anvil

    06/04/2024 11:21:22 AM PDT · by Navy Patriot · 29 replies
    The Bee ^ | June 3, 2024 | Staff
    INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Referees in last Saturday's WNBA game between the Indiana Fever and the Chicago Sky at Gainbridge Fieldhouse ruled that there was in fact no foul after Sky guard Chennedy Carter dropped an anvil on Caitlin Clark, who is popularly considered one of the greatest women's collegiate players of all time.According to fans present at the game, Carter deliberately raised an anvil with a rope and pulley before dropping it on an unsuspecting Clark. Due to an unfortunate coincidence, however, the referees all seemed to be looking away at the time."Anvil? What anvil?" head referee Dillon Johnson...
  • Today's Toons 6/4/24

    06/04/2024 3:44:45 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/4/24 | pookie18
    Click on link