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Revolt of the rodents BY DAVE BARRY (This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Sept. 10, 1995.) Once again, we are forced to ask ourselves, as a society, whether nature should be legal. Consider a story from the June 22 Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader, written by Paul Tracy and sent in by alert reader Arnie Alpert. This story states that on June 20 a Laconia, N.H., police officer was called to the municipal water-treatment facility in response to -- and as you read this column, please bear in mind that I am not making any of these newspaper quotations...

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report. Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute. They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh. A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical. The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed...

City officials are relenting on a plan to trap and kill aggressive squirrels that have been attacking humans in a popular park. The city does not have any immediate plans to arm the steel traps placed in the trees at Cuesta Park two weeks ago, David Muela, the city's community services director, said Friday. The city previously said it had no choice but to kill the squirrels after three people - including a 4-year-old boy - were bitten inside the park. The animals were jumping inside baby strollers, opening food bags and even scratching people giving them handouts including a...

An aggressive squirrel pounced on a 4-year-old boy in an attack last week in Cuesta Park in Mountain View. The attack happened as the boy's mother unwrapped a muffin during a picnic. Ironically, efforts to curb the behavior may have exacerbated the squirrels' aggressive tendencies, Muela said. This summer, the city installed new trash receptacles featuring metal tops with a latch that makes it nearly impossible for an animal to rummage through the can in search of food. Increased park ranger patrols and flier distributions cautioning against feeding the animals might have further cut the squirrels' food supply, prompting them...

MOUNTAIN VIEW -- Visitors to a Mountain View park Wednesday where greeted by signs warning them to be on alert for a group of aggressive squirrels who have bitten at least six people and have even been brazen enough to jump into a baby's stroller. Jennifer Packard told the San Jose Mercury about the latest attack. She said she had unwrapped a muffin during a picnic last week in Mountain View's Cuesta Park and had given it to her son, Andrew. Quickly, a brown tree squirrel pounced, attacking the 4-year-old and wrestling with him for the muffin. The youngster was...

EAU CLAIRE, Wis. -- Groundskeepers at Forest Hill Cemetery thought it was kids who were stealing dozens of American flags. That is, until one found a giant squirrel's nest....

"This has caused unspeakable turmoil in the environmental community", lamented Rainbow Treetower, spokesperson for the local Falls Canyon chapter of the Save Our Earth Society. She noted that one female environmentalist was seriously injured during an altercation over the issue when a male associate tried to choke her by entangling her in a large dream catcher.

"IT'S the wild west of evolution and ecology," says Joel Brown, an ecologist at the University of Illinois at Chicago. Evolution is operating with a vengeance in the urban environment as animals struggle to adapt to novel conditions and cope with "evolutionary illusions". An animal is said to be in an evolutionary illusion or trap when it does something it has evolved to do, but at the wrong time or in the wrong place. The concept may help explain why so many squirrels get squashed on city streets, says Brown. For millions of years, squirrels have evolved to cross open...

British politicians were urged to eat grey squirrels as part of a radical plan to prevent the indigenous red variety of the species from disappearing. The animal, made famous by the Squirrel Nutkin character in author Beatrix Potter's illustrated children's books, once thrived in Britain but is now battling for survival as imported North American greys run rampant. The unusual conservation method was proposed during a debate on the subject in Britain's unelected upper chamber, the House of Lords. Lord Richard Inglewood, the patron of conservation group Red Alert North-West, which works to save red squirrel populations in Potter's native...

It has the face of a rat and the tail of a skinny squirrel — and scientists say this creature discovered living in central Laos is pretty special: It's a species believed to have been extinct for 11 million years. The long-whiskered rodent made international headlines last spring when biologists declared they'd discovered a brand new species, nicknamed the Laotian rock rat. It turns out the little guy isn't new after all, but a rare kind of survivor: a member of a family until now known only from fossils. Nor is it a rat. This species, called Diatomyidae, looks...

The city of Santa Monica, Calif., is in trouble with environmentalists for the way they eradicated their squirrel population: An unannounced, weekend fumigation of the animals' burrows under Palisades Park. City officials had debated the rodent overpopulation issue for more than a year, trying to find a solution which involved neither poison nor pain, reports KCBS-TV's Jennifer Sabih.

Grey squirrels on hit list Doomed ... grey menacePicture: REX     By MICHAEL LEATHE Government is planning the slaughter of thousands of grey squirrels — risking a backlash from wildlife lovers. The aim is to protect the rapidly dwindling stock of native red squirrels. Rangers will poison, trap and shoot the greys to create “buffer zones” in woods. Contraceptives may even be added to their food to curtail breeding. The plan — to be unveiled in detail tomorrow — will also stop damage to trees, because greys love stripping bark.   Greys are also seen as pests by...

A Time Warner Cable technician who said he swerved to avoid hitting squirrels struck and killed an 80-year-old woman Friday morning in Cabarrus County, an N.C. Highway Patrol trooper said. Mary Starnes Smith, of 7752 Flowes Store Road, was fixing her broken mailbox around 9:30 a.m. when the van hit her, said state Trooper K.D. Cagler. The driver, Roger Thomas Turner, 46, of Concord, was traveling south on Flowes Store Road at about 40 to 45 mph in a 55 mph speed zone when he swerved onto the west shoulder of the roadway to dodge the squirrels, Cagler said. "I...

"....A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical...."

Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog' Local people suggest hunger is driving squirrels to extremes Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.   Over 100,000 people have registered for posting privileges on Free Republic, and the forum is read daily by tens of thousands of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world. A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day was introduced on June 24, 2002. It's only a small room in JimRob's house where we can get to know one another a little better; salute and support our military and our leaders; pray for those in...

Squirrels go nuts on crack Squirrels ... digging up stashes     By VIRGINIA WHEELER SQUIRRELS are getting hooked on crack cocaine — hidden by addicts in gardens. They are digging up the stashes and eating the mega-addictive drug, which comes in small chunks. Several have been spotted behaving bizarrely in Brixton, South London, since a police blitz against pushers and users. One resident said: “My neighbour said dealers had used my garden to hide crack. “Just an hour earlier I’d seen a squirrel digging in the flower-beds. “It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot, but it kept on...

A little light hearted distraction. I received this in an email today. I searched, but found no other thread, so here it is. Enjoy. This is my first photo posting in about 7 years, so I hope it works properly.

Defend your nuts: a parable on property rights and hippies Suppose you were a squirrel. You would work hard to find the biggest nuts, and then stash those large nuts in secret places. You'd only do so if you had a high degree of assurance that those nuts would be there, unrotted and ready to eat, when your life depended on them. You'd have to depend on other squirrels to not steal your nuts, and assure them that you would do likewise. Now suppose that a pack of liberal chinchillas, calling themselves the Friends of the Forest, came along preaching...

PRAGUE (AFP) - A Czech town has built a 10,000-euro (12,000 dollar) bridge to protect a handful of squirrels from a busy road, without knowing if they will use it. The seven-metre (23-foot) high cable bridge attached to two trees spans a road that divides a large park in the town of Sokolov in the west of the country, near the German border. "We think this construction is unique in the world. I myself witnessed two dead squirrels on the road in the space of two months and I felt we had to do something," Sokolov mayor Karel Jakobec told...