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WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Barack Obama had the kind of Saturday that many men dream of having, playing golf and attending a college basketball playoff game. Midday found him at Joint Base Andrews, the Air Force base on the outskirts of Washington where Air Force One is kept. He teed off at one of the base courses with friends Marty Nesbitt, Marvin Nicholson and Michael Brush. After a couple of hours, enough to probably play nine holes, Obama had his motorcade whisk him to the Verizon Center sports arena, where Syracuse defeated Marquette to advance to the semifinals of the...

Blizzard, Red Bull, Valentines Day Draws Thousands To Mount SnowBy Joel Leyden Israel News AgencyNew York City --- February 10, 2013 …Mount Snow, in West Dover, Vermont will be attracting thousands of skiers in the coming days. After Blizzard Nemo blanketed the mountain with over a foot of fresh snow, all trails are expected to be open on a sunny Sunday. Ski towns in Vermont were hit with wind gusts of up to 45 mph on Saturday, which forced Mount Snow to close certain lifts until the winds died down. Mount Snow, for example, was only about half open, though...

What was supposed to be a thrilling ride down a ski slope inside a giant inflatable ball ended in tragedy for the two Russian men inside. The transparent plastic ball -- called a zorb -- veered off course and sailed over a precipice in the rugged Caucasus Mountains of southern Russia. The man who died, 27-year-old Denis Burakov, was with friends at the Dombai ski resort, where they frequently went snowboarding, on Jan. 3 when he decided to take a ride in a zorb being operated next to a beginners' slope. His friend Vladimir Shcherbakov joined him. An eight-minute video...

Mount Snow Vermont, Hunter Mountain Win Top Awards for Ski Conditions, SafetyBoth Mount Snow and Hunter Mountain have made large investments in new, safe equipment.By Joel Leyden Israel News AgencyNew York, NY --- March 3, 2012 .... When selecting a ski area in New England or New York to spend both your hours and money at, by what criteria do we go by? First off, as a ski professional for more than three decades, I look at ski conditions. Ski conditions, snow making, grooming and honesty in reporting ski trail conditions determine whether I will be skiing on snow or...

No one was reported hurt, so you can relax and watch these crazy videos of a ginormous, late-afternoon, wet avalanche at St. Francois-Longchamps, France, in the Savoie, destroying a quad chairlift. Some 70 people were on the lift and, incredibly, not one was injured and all were evacuated within two and a half hours.

VANCOUVER — Concerns about the financial burden on the family of freestyle skier Sarah Burke quickly dissipated Friday and talk turned to how best to honour the legacy of the halfpipe pioneer. Donations to a fund set up by her agent, Mike Spencer, had, by late afternoon, reached nearly $200,000, which was the “clarified” figure for the medical expenses incurred during the X Games star’s nine days of care at the University of Utah hospital. Burke, a 29-year-old resident of Squamish, B.C., passed away Thursday after sustaining irreversible brain damage as a result of a fall in training on a...

(12-29) 11:21 PST Las Vegas, NV (AP) -- A police chief in northern Nevada said Thursday he decided to use the discovery of marijuana on five Utah-bound buses carrying 250 underage skiers from Northern California as a teaching moment instead of an enforcement headache. Elko Police Chief Don Zumwalt said he offered a choice to the mostly teenage passengers from the Bay Area: They could spend their three-day ski and snowboard trip in juvenile detention in northeast Nevada, or they could turn over the illegal drugs voluntarily. The kids gave up the pot. Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2011/12/29/state/n093604S31.DTL#ixzz1i2tWo6Gr

Wolf Creek is in southwestern Colorado on U.S. Highway 160 about 250 miles from Denver. Operators had previously planned to open November 4, but the storm that blew Wednesday and Thursday changed all that. Wolf Creek says it has 36" of snow and it plans to operate three lifts and offer 600 acres of skiing ... The storm allowed Front Range ski resorts including Copper Mountain, Loveland and Arapahoe Basin to fire up their snowmaking equipment.

ou’ve probably already heard about the various threats caused by global warming: melting glaciers, extreme weather disturbances and endangering the habitat of the polar bear. Tomorrow, the Natural Resources Defense Council will add another concern to the list: the endangered winter sports fan. As the NRDC put it in a press release yesterday: Some of the top names in winter sports are going to the U.S. Capitol Thursday to ask lawmakers to stop efforts in Congress to block the Environmental Protection Agency’s ability to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

September 7, 2011 Helmet bill veto: 'Not every human problem deserves a law' Legislation mandating helmets for minors hitting the slopes has been vetoed by Gov. Jerry Brown. The Democratic governor said in a veto message that his decision to reject Senate Bill 105 was driven by concerns about the "continuing and seemingly inexorable transfer of authority from parents to the state." "Not every human problem deserves a law," Brown wrote. Read more: http://blogs.sacbee.com/capitolalertlatest/2011/09/helmet-bill-veto-jerry-brown.html#ixzz1XIbt5Y2S

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Olympic silver medalist Jeret "Speedy" Peterson was found dead in a remote canyon in Utah in what police are calling a suicide. One of the world's most risk-taking and innovative freestyle skiers, the creator of the one-of-a-kind "Hurricane" called 911 before shooting himself, police said. The 29-year-old had been cited for drunken driving Friday in Hailey, Idaho and had pleaded not guilty. Officers found Peterson late Monday night between Salt Lake City and Park City in Lambs Canyon. Police said a suicide note was found near Peterson's car; they declined to reveal what it said....

FRISCO, Colo. (AP) -- Colorado authorities say a paraplegic skier was killed after taking a hard fall at Arapahoe Basin Ski Area. The Summit County Coroner's office says 51-year-old Jack Wade of Golden, Colo., used a "sit ski" device that allowed him to sit while going down the slopes. The office says witnesses report that the edges of Wade's skis caught on the snow and he crashed "very hard" Thursday afternoon.

First Lady Michelle Obama is on “a private family trip� in Colorado where she is skiing with daughters Sasha and Malia, according to an administration official.“The First Lady and several close friends are chaperoning their children on a ski trip,� the official told the press pool reporter who is following President Obama today.Reports coming out of Colorado say she arrived Friday night and is staying at the Sebastian Hotel on Vail Mountain. Rooms start at $605 per night for a room with two queen beds and head north of $2,000 for multi-bedroom suites.Here’s a description from the hotel’s website: For...

Full title: Obama accused of 'double standards' as family go skiing just days after telling Americans to sacrifice their own holidays (shortenend to fit within word limit) President Obama has been accused of having double standards after appealing for Americans to sacrifice their holidays just days before his wife and children went on a costly skiing trip. First Lady Michelle Obama and daughters Malia and Sasha are said to be on a 'private family trip' to Colorado for Presidents' Day Weekend... Although the Obamas will pay for a portion of the skiing trip, taxpayers will still shoulder many of the...

First Lady Michelle Obama and the first children, Malia and Sasha, enjoyed a weekend of skiing and celebrating in Vail, Colorado, and ET has exclusive details! The First Lady and the girls stayed at the Sebastian Hotel, where they requested an early morning call every day so they could hit the slopes -- spending about 5-7 hours each day on the mountain! The First Lady and her friends hit the spa, but the fun wasn't reserved for the adults -- Sasha, Malia and their friends had a sleepover where they played Wii and watched videos, and the girls also enjoyed...

Development group backs out of ski resort proposal on Biscayne LandingDreams of snow in South Florida quickly melted away as the developer who proposed to build a ski resort in North Miami has decided to pack it in. Solar Mountain Management Group had pitched building a winter-themed mega complex on the 193-acre Biscayne Landing site, but problems with financing seems to have nixed the deal. In May, North Miami commissioners had ranked the proposal the best they heard for the abandoned site located at 151st Street and Biscayne to 143rd Street. Solar Mountain would be a one-of-a-kind attraction in the...

When most skiers think of slopes to try come July, Chile and Argentina come to mind. But this year, a couple of ski resorts that don’t require a passport are taking advantage of the buckets of snow that fell this winter to extend their seasons through July 4 weekend. Mammoth resort in California is making a virtue of the snow and sun by offering a ski, bike and golf package — yes, all in one day — for $99. Or, if three activities in one day is too much for you, Mammoth is offering a ski and golf package for...

John Kenneth Galbraith, the Harvard economist who died last week in his 98th year, has been justly celebrated for his wit, fluency, public-spiritedness and public service, which extended from New Deal Washington to India, where he served as U.S. ambassador. Like two Harvard colleagues -- historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr. and Sen. Pat Moynihan, another ambassador to India -- Galbraith was among liberalism's leading public intellectuals, yet he was a friend and skiing partner of William F. Buckley. After one slalom down a Swiss mountain, inelegantly executed by the 6-foot-8-inch Galbraith, Buckley asked how long Galbraith had been skiing. Thirty years,...

ALTA, Utah – Europeans are bringing expertise on avalanche safety to Utah. A Swiss engineer and leading avalanche-safety expert Manuel Genswein was at a Wasatch ski resort east of Salt Lake City this weekend to show off a device meant for surviving a deadly snow slide — a set of air bags designed into a backpack for floating atop avalanche debris. Skiers hit a rip cord to activate the air bags. Genswein said the $1,000 air bag system is making its introduction in North America after years of use around Europe, where he says it has proven 98 percent effective....

A TOP skier was left in tears when her Olympic dream ended in just FIVE seconds after she spectacularly tumbled over. French woman Marion Rolland crashed yards from the start as she began her bid for gold at the Winter Games in Vancouver. The 27-year-old left the starting gate and within a blink of an eye lost her balance. She toppled over and landed in the snow in front of stunned spectators

Lindsey Vonn is hoping the Sports Illustrated cover jinx doesn't cross international borders. America's great Winter Olympic hope is featured on the front of SI's Winter Olympic preview issue, which hit newsstands Wednesday. Vonn's semi-provocative pose has drawn the predictable ire from those who claim that it objectifies her. She's an athlete, not a sex symbol, the chorus inevitably reminds us. They have a point in taking issue with SI; the magazine rarely features women athletes on the cover and its annual swimsuit issue has been a focus of protests for decades. But Vonn's cover is different.

Chechnya is to market itself as "a Swiss-style" ski resort in an improbable bid to attract Russian and foreign tourists. If the plan succeeds, it will be one of the most radical makeovers in the history of global tourism. The southern Russian republic is better known for suicide bombings, kidnappings and two brutal wars than for apres ski parties and designers ski wear. Ramzan Kadyrov, the former warlord turned Kremlin-backed president of the troubled region, believes the small mountainous republic has huge tourism potential. "We have a good climate and wonderful scenery," he said. "We have places that when equipped...

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service in 2 minutes and 44 seconds. Pretitle Sequence “This Never Happened to the other Fellar” Maurice Binder’s Title Sequence The Real James Bond, George Lazenby (Born 09-05-1939) Diana Rigg (born 07-30-1938) as the Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo Telly Savalas (01-21-1922 – 01-22-1994) as Ernst Starvo Blofeld Rest of the Cast Gabriele Ferzetti as Marc-Ange Draco - Head of the Union Corse, a major crime syndicate and Tracy's father Ilse Steppat as Irma Bunt - Blofeld's henchwoman who takes part in his quest to try and eliminate Bond. Bernard Lee as M - Head of...

Crested Butte Mountain Resort's five-year effort to push its ski area onto nearby Snodgrass Mountain hit a barrier. The U.S. Forest Service rejected the resort's master development plan and blocked its application for National Environmental Policy Act, or NEPA, review, a vital hurdle to expand the ski resort by 276 acres onto undeveloped terrain on neighboring Snodgrass Mountain. "It was a difficult decision; the Upper Crested Butte Valley is very divided on this issue, with strong opinions on both sides," said Charlie Richmond, supervisor of the Grand Mesa, Uncompahgre and Gunnison National Forests, who signed the letter rejecting the expansion....

The Park City resort also won individual categories for grooming, mountain service, dining and lodging. More than 20,000 readers participated in the survey, the most comprehensive of its kind. Deer Valley's ratings has never dropped lower than third overall in the past nine years... A third consecutive top ranking wasn't expected given competition from other fancy ski resorts around the U.S. and Canada.

Edra Denise Blixseth, age 55, is tiny, barely 5 feet 3, but she is at the center of a huge financial mess. According to personal bankruptcy papers her lawyer filed in March, she owes $500 million to $1 billion and has assets of barely half that, almost none of them liquid. Earlier this month, the court approved the sale of one of her most prized possessions - the private ski resort in Big Sky, Mont., known as the Yellowstone Club - to the private-equity firm of one of its members for $115 million. Just a year ago, that same buyer,...

SNOWMASS VILLAGE, Colo., April 1, 2009 – Army Command Sgt. Maj. Bill Roy stretched his legs out in front of a rolling fire last evening, reflecting on the magnitude of the day. Army Command Sgt. Maj. Bill Roy, a Special Forces medic severely wounded in Afghanistan, said participating in his first National Disabled Veterans Winter Sports Clinic in Snowmass Village, Colo., has given him new hope he faces the future. Department of Veterans Affairs photo  (Click photo for screen-resolution image);high-resolution image available. After 36 years in the Army – 17 on active duty and the rest in the Army Reserve...

UPDATE 2:00 PM ET -- The hospital tells TMZ Richardson is sedated and suffering from brain swelling -- but is not brain dead. UPDATE: 1:37 PM ET -- We're told Richardson's jet was scheduled to take off from Montreal-Trudeau Airport. A rep for the airport said the jet is either still there or has just taken off. We're told Natasha Richardson has been transported from the hospital in Canada via ambulance. CTV says she boarded a private jet -- we do not know where the jet has gone, but we believe it's New York City. Richardson was accompanied by a...

Just a day after clinching the overall World Cup championship and the downhill championship, Vonn won the final super-G race of the season and clinched the world championship in that discipline as well. She is the first American woman to win a super-G world championship. It was her ninth World Cup win this winter and the fourth straight super-G win. She now leads all American women with two overall titles, 22 career wins and 47 podium finishes.

American Lindsay Vonn continued her incredible season on Wednesday when she retained the women's alpine skiing World Cup title at the season-ending finals here. Vonn won the downhill in 1min 42.49sec to edge out Maria Riesch of Germany and Austria's Renate Goetschl. "My life could not be any better," said the 24-year-old. "I have a fantastic husband, two cristal globes, two downhill globes. I'm missing nothing." It's the first time an American woman has ever won two overall crowns, and the trophies will be added to a burgeoning collection that also includes two World Championship golds

BY DAVE BARRY (This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Feb. 29, 2004.) I haven't attempted to ski for years, but recently I decided to take another stab at it. I was hoping they'd done something about the gravity problem. Gravity is the biggest drawback to skiing. Without gravity, it would be a carefree activity: You'd put on your skis, head for the slopes and just . . . HOVER for a while. Then it would be time for ``apres ski'' (French for ''no longer skiing''). Instead, you have gravity. Huge amounts of it. Ski areas are located smack...

From Icecap.com's website: The Aspen Skiing Company said Monday that it will open up Aspen Mountain from June 13 to 15 for skiers and snowboarders. The company says record winter snowfall has left the mountain covered with snow, leaving behind an average of more than 3 feet of snow on the upper slopes. So, for this Friday, Saturday and Sunday, Aspen will open seven runs and about 45 acres of mostly intermediate terrain that is accessible by the Ajax Express chairlift. And Missoula, Montana’s water park is closing due to cold weather ‘to protect children from hypothermia’. In the Seattle...

Aspen Mountain will be open to skiers and snowboarders this weekend, according to Jeff Hanle, spokesman for the Aspen Skiing Co. “Yes, we are going skiing,” Hanle said, though he could not confirm the details. The Skico previously indicated it would consider opening the mountain this weekend, which coincides with the Aspen Food & Wine Magazine Classic. It's unusual but not unprecedented to have skiing on Ajax mountain this late in the season, after Independence Pass already has opened for the summer. But highway crews only last week re-opened the 12,093-foot pass after a particularly snowy winter. Arapahoe Basin, which...

SNOWMASS VILLAGE, Colo., April 2, 2008 – Less than six months ago, Army Pfc. Michael Dinkel had his leg destroyed by a roadside bomb while he was deployed to Afghanistan with the Fort Riley, Kan.-based 70th Engineer Battalion. Today, still a patient at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Dinkel is shimmying down the slopes of Snowmass Mountain, refusing to let a disability stand in the way of a good time -- or a full, productive life. Less than six months after losing a leg to an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan, Army Pfc. Michael Dinkel is on the slopes...

SNOWMASS VILLAGE, Colo., April 2, 2008 – Seventy-four-year-old Bob Eiden stood on a snow bank overlooking Snowmass Mountain yesterday, mentally preparing himself for his first experience on skis, 16 months after having his right leg amputated. Bob Eiden, a 74-year-old Korean War veteran, isn’t going to let an amputated leg, failing eyesight and failing hearing keep him from showing newly wounded combat veterans there’s still life after a disability. Eiden donned skis for the first time during the 22nd National Disabled Veterans Winter Sports Clinic at Snowmass Village, Colo. Defense Dept. photo by Donna Miles  (Click photo for screen-resolution image);high-resolution...

Professional extreme skier Billy Poole died this afternoon after taking a fall while filming in Big Cottonwood Canyon between Solitude and Brighton ski resorts. Salt Lake County Sheriff's Office spokesman Paul Jaroscak said the 28-year-old died around 1:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Poole was filming a jump, had a bad landing, and possibly hit some rocks, Jaroscak said. Earlier reports of an avalanche in the area were false, he said. Poole was filming in the area with Boulder, Colo.-based Warren Miller Entertainment. A spokesman reached at the company's corporate headquarters said the company is still trying to learn details about...

People upset over a man who sued an 8-year-old boy and his father over a Colorado ski collision have subjected him and his wife to "an electronic tar and feathering," their lawyer said. David Pfahler and Marlene Ambrogio left their Allentown, Pa., home for the holidays because angry people tied up their phone lines with repeated, automated calls since news reports of the lawsuit, attorney Jim Chalat said Monday. Some sent angry e-mails and calls to Chalat's Denver law firm, while others called Reader's Digest, where Pfahler works, and demanded he be fired, the Rocky Mountain News reported. The couple...

ST. ANTON AM ARLBERG, Austria — American skier Lindsey Vonn won't be able to fly home for Christmas because of the World Cup schedule. But the way things are going, why would she want to leave Europe? Vonn won a super-combi Saturday for her second consecutive victory, sending her to the top of the overall standings. And for the second consecutive race, Julia Mancuso of Olympic Valley, Calif., finished third. Stacey Cook of Mammoth Mountain, Calif., finished 13th. According to U.S. team officials, Vonn is the first American woman to win alpine World Cup races on back-to-back days since Tamara...

Man, 60, sues boy, 8, over ski collision Thu Dec 20, 10:51 PM ET VAIL, Colo. - A 60-year-old man is taking an 8-year-old boy and his dad to court, claiming the boy caused a ski-slope collision that left the older man with a shoulder injury. David J. Pfahler of Allentown, Pa., sued in federal court in Denver, claiming Scott Swimm, then 7, was skiing fast and recklessly when they collided in January, the Vail Daily reported Thursday. The suit claims Pfahler suffered a torn shoulder tendon and seeks compensation for physical therapy, vacation time, nursing and medical services provided...

TELLURIDE — A backlash quickly emerged after the Telluride Town Council adopted a resolution last week calling for the impeachment of President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. “It’s huge, unbelievable,” said Telluride Mayor John Pryor. “Ski groups are canceling for the winter. Hundreds of people are bailing. The (town) Web site is flooded with people saying they’re canceling their vacations here.” Pryor called it a “silly initiative.” The council, he told The Telluride Watch, is too busy to weigh in on national global politics. If this was a silly initiative, why did he vote for it? The...

LONDON, England (AP) -- Prince Charles has canceled a traditional skiing holiday in a bid to reduce his carbon footprint, his office said Saturday -- a day after campaigners and a government minister criticized his decision to fly to New York to collect an award for work on environmental issues. Environment Secretary David Miliband expressed reservations Friday about the heir to the British throne traveling to the United States for the ceremony, while advocacy groups urged the prince to use a video link instead. Prince Charles' Clarence House office said the prince had decided last year to cancel a regular...

PARK CITY, Utah (AP) - The two dozen FBI agents who swarmed Park City Mountain Resort weren't busting anybody Friday. They weren't even armed - unless you count the sharp ends of ski poles. With the temperature near zero, agents hit the slopes - some on challenging runs, others on bunny hills - in an unusual drive to publicize the FBI and perhaps attract a few recruits. Many skiers and Park City regulars were perplexed or even a bit unnerved. Some thought the whole effort was nutty. Jokes were flying about agents skiing on the public dime, but nobody seemed...

A major snowstorm blew across Colorado toward the Plains on Wednesday, canceling hundreds of airline flights for holiday travelers and shutting down major highways in parts of four states. The National Weather Service posted blizzard warnings for most of eastern Colorado and adjoining sections of Nebraska and Kansas. A day earlier, the storm had pummeled New Mexico with up to a foot of snow. Two feet of snow was possible in the foothills just west of Denver, with 2 to 3 feet a possibility farther north. Up to 20 inches could accumulate on the Plains of eastern Colorado and wind...

In new ads, ski company says global warming could dry up snow during the next century... The Aspen Skiing Co. hopes potential customers are ready for a snow job. On Wednesday, the company unveiled a new advertising campaign for the 2006-07 season that centers around the message that snow — and skiing — will disappear around 2100 if humans don’t take drastic action to slow global warming. Three full-page ads, which show a melting snowflake imposed over Highland Bowl, will run in SKI and Outside magazines in the next few months. One ad portrays a “certificate of death” for snow....

DULUTH, MN (AP) -- It's been a month since Travis Kladivo last rode a kite tube. And doctors say the 20-year-old's body has almost healed. On June 25, Kladivo, whose family owns a resort on Lake Vermilion, joined a growing number of thrill-seekers seriously injured while riding a kite tube, a huge, inflatable toy designed to float in the air with a rider aboard. The day after Kladivo's accident, a 42-year-old man was killed in a kite tube accident on Little St. Germain Lake in Wisconsin. Since then, the bestselling version of the device, the Sportsstuff Inc.-brand Wego kite tube,...

TULSA, Okla. -- The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in Tulsa today announced a restriction on kite tubing on all Corps lakes in the Tulsa District. Col. Miroslav Kurka, commander of the Tulsa District, imposed the ban because of the potential for serious injuries caused by uncontrolled flight of these devices. Kite tubes are a relatively new derivative of large inner tubes towed behind speedboats that become airborne. One person died as the result of a kite tube accident this past week in Texas. Many kite tubing injuries are the direct result of the tubes reaching heights of 20...

LES CROSETS, Switzerland - Former Swiss skiing star Corinne Rey-Bellet and her brother, Alain, were shot and killed in their parents' home, and police were trying to find Rey-Bellet's husband. The attack late Sunday night, which also left Rey-Bellet's mother hospitalized with serious injuries, occurred in the Swiss mountain resort of Les Crosets, according to the Valais state police. Rey-Bellet's mother was able to call police despite her injuries. Police said the attacker, who fired five shots, fled and eluded a search. Police spokesman Renato Kalbermatten said authorities were trying to find Rey-Bellet's husband, who lived with her and their...

Before Scandinavia: These could be the first skiers By Robert Marquand | Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor BEIJING – Move over Bode. You may have competition you don't know about - among a sturdy skiing clan in northwest China. They are central Asians, Mongols, and Kazaks, living in the remote Altay mountains of Xinjiang province, where some claim skiing was first conceived. Using curved planks whose design dates back 2,000 years, the Altaic peoples are formidable skiers. They might not win a medal on perfectly groomed Olympic trails. But they can break their own paths, track elk for...

SESTRIERE, Italy – Unbent, unbowed and ultimately unsuccessful, Bode Miller said in an interview yesterday he is skiing away from these Olympics on his own terms — content without any medals and impressed by the local nightlife. “I just did it my way. I’m not a martyr, and I’m not a do-gooder. I just want to go out and rock. And man, I rocked here,” Miller said in an exclusive interview with the Associated Press soon after he skidded off the slalom course in his fifth and final race, completing an 0-for-the-Olympics.

Feb. 23, 2006 - Four months ago, Bode Miller sat across from me in the bar of a New York City hotel and shared his idea of what a perfect two weeks in Torino would look like. “For me,” he said, “the ideal Olympics would be to go in with all that pressure, all that attention and have performances that are literally tear-jerking, that make people put their heads down because they’re embarrassed at how emotional they’re getting, that make people want to try sports, talk to their kids, call their f---ing ex-wives—and come away with no medals. I think...