Keyword: satire
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The House passage of the American Health Care Act, the GOP's alternative to Obamacare, was labeled a "death sentence for millions" by Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass), "people will die." Warren's view was bolstered by the lamentations of individuals who now fear for their lives if the AHCA becomes law. Mega-celebrity Cher expressed her dismay that the AHCA may not cover her asthma therapy. "How will I get my medicine without Obamacare?" she demanded to know. She dismissed the suggestion that as a millionaire many times over she could easily afford to pay out-of-pocket as "unfair. It is the government's obligation...
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This week the Office of the U.N. High Commissioner on Human Rights in Geneva warned the Trump Administration that repeal of the Affordable Care Act would violate international law. The warning came from Dainius Puras, Special Rapporteur on the right of everyone to the enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of physical and mental health. Puras cited Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which he says “establishes everyone’s right to a standard of living adequate for health and well-being, including food, medical care and necessary social services.” According to Puras, “repeal of the ACA would make the...
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A 10-year tradition of beginning Portland's annual Rose Festival with a family-friendly parade came to an end when a so-called antifascist group threatened to attack any members of the Multnomah County Republican Party who tried to participate. Ironically, bullying political opponents by threatening violence emulates the practices of the Nazi Party during Germany's Weimar Republic when the Party's brown-shirted thugs ruled the streets. Jacob Bureros, an organizer with the Direct Action Alliance, was disappointed to hear that the parade was canceled. "This was definitely our least favored outcome," Bureros complained. "Our first choice would have been for the parade to...
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A new Norwegian study from the Ragnar Frisch Center for Economic Research found that migrants become less interested in integrating with Norwegians the longer they are in the country. Knut Røed, a senior researcher at the Frisch Center, explained the seemingly anomalous findings as "not as strange as we first thought. It seems that most of the migrants entering the country expected they would have to work in order to survive. After all, that's the way it is in the countries they came from. But as they realize that the government here will support them they quite rationally choose not...
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Robert Ménard, mayor of the town of Beziers in southern France, has been fined 2,000 euros for "hate speech." The "hate speech" consisted of his observation that in a school in the center of his town more than 90% of the students are Muslim. Judge Maurice Cador called Ménard's remarks "extraordinarily insensitive toward Muslims. His defense relied upon the assertion that he spoke the truth. Under our laws truth is not a valid defense. We concede that his statement was factually accurate. However, it is the government's policy to not call attention to the rising proportion of resident aliens in...
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Last year, Mercy San Juan Medical Center in Carmichael, California refused to remove the uterus of Evan Michael Minton. Minton is in the process of transitioning from female to a simulated male body. This Catholic hospital declined to remove a healthy uterus and referred Minton to a nearby nonreligious hospital within the same Dignity Health network. American Civil Liberties Union spokesman Bertram Petty claimed that “the hospital violated Mr. Minton’s right to have whatever surgery he wants at whatever facility he chooses. The hospital’s assertion that the surgery goes against its sincerely held religious beliefs is irrelevant. Under Obamacare, the...
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Stung by critics who say that former President Barack Obama is showing inordinate greed by accepting fat payments from Wall Street for brief speeches, former Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest argued that "one of the President's greatest regrets during his time in office was his inability to establish a public program of reparations for America's historic mistreatment of racial minorities. Rather than just shrug off his disappointment he has decided to individually extract payments to compensate for those injustices." "We mustn't overlook the fact that the $400,000 per speech fees are being paid by white men to a black man,"...
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Decision was apparently based not on the proposed policy change what time previous statements made on the campaign Trail and because the president is generally mean and insensitive to the needs of women and minorities. Developing.
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HELL’S KITCHEN, NY—A woman is being heralded as a feminist icon after refusing to let a male firefighter carry her out of a burning building. The woman burned to death several minutes later, sources confirmed. According to FDNY firefighters, the woman was spotted in the living room of her home, which had become engulfed in flames. Immediately, one of New York’s bravest charged through the the front door to rescue the helpless woman. But what happened next will go down in the history books. As the fireman reached out to pick up the woman and carry her to safety, she...
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A long list of individuals and organizations subjected to surveillance by the Obama Administration was cited by former National Security Adviser Susan Rice as "proof I did nothing wrong." The list included Former U.S. Rep. Jane Harman (D-Calif), Pro-Israel lobbyists, FBI contractor and whistleblower Shamai Leibowitz, Tea-party groups, WikiLeaks, New York Times reporter James Risen, NSA whistleblower Thomas Drake, Fox News reporter James Rosen, CBS reporter Sharyl Attkisson, former U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio), Fox News reporter Mike Levine, ATF Special Agent John Dodson, former CIA Director Gen. David Petraeus, Associated Press reporters, Benghazi whistleblowers, President Obama's vice chair of...
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(AP) Washington: The Trump White House announced today that embattled Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, has accepted a new position within the administration. Mr. Spicer will become the deputy assistant to US Ambassador to the U.N., Niki Haley. Spicer said he looks forward to the transition and is confident working with various leaders from all over the world will be much less stressful than holding the daily press conferences he has been subjected to in the first 100 days of the Trump Presidency. The White House also announced Spicer's replacement for White House Press Secretary. Bill O'Reilly has accepted the position...
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This week, former Democratic presidential candidate and Vermont Governor Howard Dean expressed his alarm that author Ann Coulter has not been effectively silenced by the University of California at Berkeley. Initially, the University forbade Coulter from speaking on campus citing the event as “dangerous.” After Coulter took steps to go ahead without the University’s official approval Dean became irate. “Coulter is notorious for rejecting the mainstream consensus on immigration, Muslims, taxes, welfare, you name it,” Dean maintained. “Her jibes are so venomous as to generate ridicule for those who hold opposing views. Clearly, she hates liberals and the victims we...
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WASHINGTON (AP) - at 12:15pm today President Trump disclosed that he has reached an agreement with Enrique Pena Nieto, President of Mexico, which provides for the sale of substantially all of the State of California to the country of Mexico. President Trump noted that this deal, which he claims "is his largest real estate deal ever" is a win-win for everyone involved. One of the benefits he says he will highlight during a prime time address from the oval office later this evening, will include using the proceeds received by the US from Mexico to 1) pay for the Wall...
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Patricia Brennan, a visiting lecturer at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts, who spent nearly $400,000 of taxpayer dollars studying duck penises has become a spokesperson in opposition to Trump’s proposed cuts to funding studies like hers. One of the research topics likely to be cut off from tax-funding is her current project to study whale penises. She is eager to examine a recently acquired an orca penis. “It’s enormous!” she exclaimed. “It takes up an entire lab sink. The very idea that Congress might not fund a thorough investigation of this extraordinary specimen is criminal. In order for us to...
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Kori Ali Muhammad, the man under arrest for four murders, demanded he be released as "reparation for slavery. Whites enslaved millions of blacks and killed thousands of them. The four white men I shot can't begin to balance the scales of justice. I need to be free to continue my work to even the score." His initial victim was Carl Williams, an unarmed security guard at a Motel 6 in Fresno, California. Muhammad claimed this killing was additionally justified because "he disrespected my right as a Muslim to consummate the sex for which I had paid a resident at the...
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Jean-Luc Mélenchon, the joint candidate of the French Communist Party and the Unbowed France political movement, is surging in the polls following his pledge to "raise taxes on the rich to 100% and gut the goose that lays the golden eggs for the benefit of the working class." "The idea that anyone has the right to withhold anything from the people and their representative, the state, is a pernicious doctrine we must exterminate," Mélenchon said. "For too long progressives have held back from this obvious truth and solution to society's problems. When everything is thrown into the common pot and...
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The Huffington Post’s recent publication of a blog post proposing stripping white men of their right to vote sparked widespread anger across social media. The editors initially defended the piece, titled “Could It be Time to Deny White Men the Franchise?” They even crowed about how much traffic it was getting and mocked readers for complaining, before suddenly reversing their decision and deleting the post over the weekend.
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Lois Lerner, the IRS official implicated in the agency's illegal targeting of conservative groups for discriminatory treatment, came out strongly against the suggestion by House Republicans Rep. Peter Roskam (R-Ill) and Rep. Kevin Brady (R-Texas) that the Department of Justice look into the matter. "The reopening of an incident occurring five years ago will only stir up unnecessary interest in something that cannot be undone," Lerner pleaded. "The animosity that will be unfairly directed at me for misdeeds perpetrated by subordinates without my knowledge is risky. It would expose me to harassment and possible harm without really righting any of...
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When it was reported recently that Huma Abedin was seeking $2 million for a book advance, you probably didn't realize that she was already a major author with five well-reviewed titles to her credit. While none of us can wait for the next one, here are some paperbacks to tide you over in the meantime.
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Åsa Linderborg, the editor of Sweden’s Aftonbladet newspaper, contends that “Sweden’s economy would collapse without illegal immigrants. The influx of large contingents of these people creates extra demand for housing and welfare. This helps support the building trades and social workers, not to mention stimulating Swedes to work longer hours to pay the taxes needed to fund these benefits. Even the violence springing from these unassimilated new residents provides jobs for police, firemen, hospitals, morticians, and insurance adjusters.” The fact that few of these new immigrants have jobs—only 500 of 2015’s 160,000 immigrants are employed—was dismissed by Linderborg as irrelevant....
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