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Keyword: satire

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  • Will Skeet Cause President Obama's Downfall? [Intended as satire]

    02/12/2013 9:38:34 AM PST · by DanMiller · 1 replies
    Dan Miller's Blog ^ | February 12, 2013 | Dan Miller
    Until recently, we knew little about the evolution, life and death of skeet. A recent article now fills that great void. A scholarly treatise by Mr. Gary Abernathy, publisher of The Times-Gazette in Hillsboro, Ohio, deals with the evolution of skeet culminating in their short and pitiful lives and violent deaths. It seemed necessary to post a link and an excerpt here as quickly as possible because of the great but previously unsatisfied longing for reliable information on the subject. I do so despite my concern that it may detract from the attention otherwise likely to be paid to President...
  • If Democrats Had Popes What Would Their Names Be?

    02/11/2013 4:56:24 PM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 33 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-11-13 | The Looking Spoon
    In light of Pope Benedict stepping down and Chris Rock's revelation that liberal presidents should be treated as some kind of holy father, I thought it would be fun to explore what Democrats would call themselves if they were pope.        
  • Pelosi Is The Poster Child For Why We Need A Show Called "Democrats Say The Darndest Things"

    02/11/2013 10:31:53 AM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 11 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-11-13 | The Looking Spoon
    Pelosi really said this...get the story at American Thinker.
  • Over 8 Million Leave Labor Force under Obama

    02/11/2013 10:05:49 AM PST · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 Feb 2013 | John Semmens
    In what the Obama Administration is characterizing as a “great surge in human freedom,” it was reported by the Bureau of Labor Statistics that there are 8.5 million fewer people in the labor force than when Obama took office in January of 2009. “The Great Emancipator himself only freed 4 million slaves,” said Press Secretary Jay Carney. “Without the bloodshed of a civil war, President Obama has enabled more than twice as many to escape from the drudgery of having to work for a living.” Carney boasted that “those in the GOP who try to cast this achievement as a...
  • Economist Admits Deficits Pose Long Term Problem, Suggests Remedies

    02/11/2013 8:47:25 AM PST · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Feb 2013 | John Semmens
    While Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman has been arguing that now is not the time for us to be worrying about the federal government’s debt, he does admit that a long term solution is necessary. “In the short run we can always inflate the currency as a means of defaulting on federal obligations,” Krugman said. “But in the long term there are significant demographic problems that require a real solution.” One of the significant demographic problems cited by Krugman was the aging population. “As people get older they tend to need more medical services,” Krugman recounted. “With our advanced...
  • Iran Rejects Idea of Direct Talks with U.S.

    02/10/2013 12:17:17 PM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 Feb 2013 | John Semmens
    Though Vice-President Joe Biden has been hinting that President Obama is willing to hold direct one-on-one talks with Iran to try to resolve differences between the two countries, Iran is having none of it. “The Americans talk as if their agreement to bilateral talks is a great gift to us,” Ayatollah Ali Khamenei declared. “Do they think we cannot tell the difference between a donkey and an ass?” The problem as Khamenei sees it is that “the President of the United States is a lying liar who lies. We are not such fools as to perceive such talks as anything...
  • Global Warming Snow Hits Northeast

    02/09/2013 6:49:34 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 32 replies
    2-9-13 | Retired Texas Vet
    Friday evening the largest Global Warming snow ever hit the Northeast. The storm had been predicted by Al Gore and other patients for years. Scientists had first thought the snow was the ordinary H2O type of snow that has fallen for years. However, closer investigation indicated that the snow was not regular snow but solidified carbon dioxide, (aka dry ice). Drs. Mann, Jones and Hansen speculated that the carbon dioxide had built up quickly because the coal fired electric generator plants had been working at full capacity because of the recent Artic cold spell. What triggered the consolidation and solidification...
  • Illinois Governor Proposes New Assault Weapons Rules

    02/09/2013 10:30:48 AM PST · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 Feb 2013 | John Semmens
    Governor Pat Quinn (D) used his annual “State of the State” address to call for new rules on so-called assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. As outlined, under his proposal only those seeking permission for same-sex “marriages” would be authorized to own these types of firearm devices. As Quinn explained it, “those seeking same-sex ‘marriage’ are among the most endangered members of our society. Their ability to propagate their own kind is hampered by unfair biological impediments. On top of this there is a well of anti-homosexual animosity among their fellow citizens that threatens their very survival. Since this gay minority...
  • Administration Asserts Right to Assassinate Enemies

    02/09/2013 7:09:43 AM PST · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 Feb 2013 | John Semmens
    A 16-page internal Department of Justice memo leaked to the media asserts that any person, American citizen or not, can be legally assassinated if “a high ranking White House official deems it warranted.” While this asserted authority would appear to contradict the Constitution's prohibition of capital punishment except where the accused has had the benefit of a fair trial, Attorney General Eric Holder maintains that “the President and those he appoints to serve under him have the residual authority to override this protection if national security requires it. Action taking at the behest of an informed high-level official is to...
  • Obama’s Passiveness over Benghazi Defended

    02/08/2013 10:34:30 PM PST · by John Semmens · 36 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 Feb 2013 | John Semmens
    Recent testimony at the Senate Armed Services Committee by Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta and Joint Chiefs of Staff General Martin Dempsey disclosed that President Obama showed little interest in the September 11, 2012 attack on the US Consulate. “Some 90 minutes into the seven-hour siege I briefed the president with what I felt we knew at the time,” Panetta said. “He didn’t react. He asked no questions. He gave no instructions.” How this sworn testimony should be interpreted in light of Obama’s unsworn assertion that he gave clear directives to “secure our personnel” posed a challenge for Press Secretary...
  • If Democrats Were Ever Right About Anything There's Only One Way To Know For Sure...

    02/08/2013 4:24:02 PM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 5 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-8-13 | The Looking Spoon
  • Chicago School Raided by Feds

    02/07/2013 7:41:06 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 18 replies
    RetiredTexasVet
    Today FBI and Department of Agriculture agents raided a West side Chicago school. Agents arrested 10 juveniles and 1 teacher in a contraband food sting conducted at the school over the last year. The students were charged with operating a ring that smuggled Ding-Dongs, Ho-Hos, Twinkies and other contraband food items into the school. Since the school had banned these items from their menus and from vending machines, there was an underground black market at the school. Each day these students packed 4 to 10 contraband items in their lunches brought from home and auctioned them off to desert starved...
  • The One Way Obama Can Make Drone Strikes Cool (but he must act quickly)

    02/07/2013 5:25:59 PM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 9 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-7-13 | The Looking Spoon
    It's well on it's way to being old news, but Obama's use of pop culture to get what he wants could come in handy here...
  • The Smoking Gun That Proves Liberal Democrats Expect Their Leaders To Be Dictators

    02/07/2013 10:18:51 AM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 9 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-7-13 | The Looking Spoon
    Oh yes, this quote is real...
  • Fleeing Californians Ponder Which State to Ruin Next

    02/06/2013 4:55:13 PM PST · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 52 replies
    ClashDaily.com ^ | February 5, 2013 | Nick Taxia
    Tuesday, January 29th, 2013, (Santa Monica, CA) — It has been 34 years of marriage, three children, two grandchildren, two homes and three jobs, and Mary and Joseph Peterson have had enough. The two Sacramento natives and college sweethearts have lived in California their entire lives. Now their lifelong stay in the Sunshine state is sadly coming to an end. Mary Peterson, 56, and husband Joseph, 57, lament being only an estimated 250,000 people who are now leaving California annually, in comparison to the hordes more that are storming in (mainly illegally). They also lament not having fully experienced the...
  • We Need More Freedom, Not These Liberal Monsters

    02/06/2013 10:52:12 AM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 1 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-6-13 | The Looking Spoon
    Sparked from a random thought...
  • Obama Takes A Spin On The "Other" Air Force One

    02/05/2013 5:07:25 PM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 4 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-5-13 | The Looking Spoon
    The Demperor has decreed that it's ok to kill Americans with predator drones. See the memo at Gateway Pundit.This president is everything the crazies on the left swore George W. Bush was going to become, but didn't.
  • Climate Scientists get Nobel Prize

    02/05/2013 2:55:35 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 13 replies
    Retired Texas Vet
    Climate scientists, Drs. Mann, Jones and Hansen were nominated and approved for a Nobel Prize. The Drs. had written several manuscripts detailing climate change (aka global warming or new ice age depending on the time and rquirements). Wannabe self-proclaimed climate change expert Al Gore based his movie on the climate change trios manuscript. The Nobel prize science committee encountered several problems initially when trying to verify the data, models and results for the manuscripts. Their publisher, IPCC stated that they had no data, models or results for the committee to review even though it was commonly accepted that those items...
  • The Only Appropriate Position For A Democrat Senator Who Has Sex With Foreign Hookers

    02/04/2013 4:25:42 PM PST · by The Looking Spoon · 6 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-4-13 | The Looking Spoon
    If you've never heard of this guy you can get a good start and learn more than you ever wanted to know from The Lonely Conservative and The Other McCain.He replaced John Kerry as Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations committee...it's too perfect.
  • Superbowl Power Outage Republicans Fault

    02/04/2013 2:34:58 PM PST · by RetiredTexasVet · 21 replies
    RetiredTexasVet
    Steven Chu, the retiring Secretary of Energy, is blaming the power outage at the Superbowl on the Republicans. Steven Chu had arranged to have the Superbowl completely powered by solar panels as a final act of demonstrating the reliability and feasibility of solar power. To accomplish it, he had asked the Food Stamp President to request Congress to change the day/night ratio to 80% daylight versus 20% night to support the increased light requirements. The Republicans laughed off the request and the resultant unexpected darkness rendered the solar panels inoperable. The battery and generator backups proved to be up to...