Free Republic

The United States is not preparing to unleash a "shock and awe" campaign of overwhelming airstrikes in Syria against Islamic State fighters, the top U.S. military officer said on Tuesday.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/furious-obama-says-calls-putin-going-straight-voicemail

A Hamas-Israel joke. Hamas decided to send a gift to the President of Israel . They sent him an elaborate box with a note . The President opened the box and saw that the content was feces ( shit). He opened the note which said “ This is for you and your people!" Since the President of Israel is a wise and experienced person he decided to reciprocate by sending his gift to Hamas with a personal note. The leader of Hamas were very surprised to receive the parcel and opened it very carefully, suspecting that it might contain a...

Southern California cornerback Josh Shaw has admitted to lying to school officials about how he sprained his ankles last weekend, retracting his story about jumping off a balcony to save his drowning nephew. Shaw has been suspended indefinitely from all of the Trojans' team activities, the school announced in a statement Wednesday.

Charles Arntzen is the Regents' Professor and Florence Ely Nelson Presidential Chair of the Biodesign Institute at Arizona State University. Dr. Arntzen is known as a pioneer in the development of edible plant-based vaccines, and he has also been a key collaborator on what appears to be a promising new Ebola drug. The Washington Post recently reported that: It took nearly three decades of tireless research and countless millions of U.S. government dollars to produce a few grams of the experimental Ebola drug that may have saved the lives of two U.S. missionaries stricken by the virus in West Africa....

Morgan Stanley's Adam Jonas is out with an awesome and slightly hilarious note in which he argues Tesla is now, maybe, the most important car company in the world. "Not even two years after the delivery of the first Model S, Tesla Motors has transformed from fledgling start-up to arguably the most important car company in the world. We are not joking."

he major focus of the White House on Monday is its Working Families Summit, and President Barack Obama, Vice President Joe Biden, first lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden all are part of the program at the Omni Shoreham Hotel here.

...."It's good to be out," he said as he strolled across the Ellipse, suit jacket tossed over his shoulder. "The bear is loose."... He also ran into a very excited woman named Karen. "Oh my gosh, this is like the best day of my life," Karen said. She then posed for a photo with Obama.

Please join U.S. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz as she hosts area small businesses along with Federal, State and Local agencies for a free Small Business Workshop to provide marketing, management and financial guidance to small business owners and those interested in starting a small business. Saturday, May 31, 2014 Broward County Convention Center 1950 Eisenhower Blvd Fort Lauderdale, Florida Registration: 8:30am-9:30am Workshops: 9:30am-3:30pm FREE ADMISSION For additional information, please call Rep. Wasserman Schultz's office at 954-437-3936 Please fill out the form below to receive more information about the Small Business Workshop.

Academia is hell. In the latest higher-education fad, students want "trigger warnings," according to The New York Times. It appears that some students are so fragile that they want university staff to protect them from big bad ideas. Students around the country say they want "explicit alerts that the material they are about to read or see in a classroom might upset them or, as some students assert, cause symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder in victims of rape or in war veterans." An Oberlin College draft -- now "under revision" -- for trigger warnings suggested faculty "be aware of racism,...

One of the tender mercies of Stephen Colbert's ascension to the "Late Show" set at CBS is his shedding of the faux-conservative "high-status idiot" character. To conservatives, this "Colbert" has never seemed authentic or sustained cleverness -- how many times can you say you don't read or even like books? It mostly marks the deep ruts of liberal arrogance in their own mental superiority. Colbert has perpetually had trouble staying inside this character, always winking at and mocking it more than inhabiting it. To liberals, abandoning this thin charade is far too much sincerity for an ironic age. They love...

A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened. The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road....

Putin is set to respond to Obama's sanctions of Russian officials with his own list. Several U.S. Senators and officials will be banned from visiting Russia, including Sen. Dick Durbin. U.S. senators, congressmen and top Obama administration officials are sure to be on Vladimir Putin’s sanctions list; a response to the Obama Administration’s announcement on Monday that 7 Russian officials and 4 Ukrainian officials would be barred from holding assets or traveling to the United States.



Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first: "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left." God then addresses Bill. "Bill,...

Last Thursday Joel Osteen, senior pastor of Lakewood “Church” in Houston, Texas revealed to the world that he had recently read the Gospels for the first time during a segment of the MTV Special True Life: I’m Joel Osteen. “Ya know, I decided it was about time I toughed it through all four Gospels. They’re super long but I mean, I am a pastor, right?” Osteen said laughingly in his charming Texan accent. The author of Your Best Life Now, a theological dissertation concerning the Biblical hermeneutic of success, was shocked at the lack of material prosperity present in the...

Ukraine Defense Minister Pavel Lebedev has refused to take multiple phone calls made personally by Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, the Pentagon said Thursday. "Secretary Hagel has been trying, himself, since early this week," Pentagon press secretary Rear Adm. John Kirby told reporters. Lebedev refuses "to communicate, to accept a phone call" from Hagel or the Pentagon.

At long-last, the uni-partisan bumper sticker has been invented! And the message is simple: 'RUN HILARY, RUN!'  Dems put it on the rear bumper,  Republicans put it on the front bumper...

Hillary was finishing up a day as Senator for New York in January, 2001- when the Devil suddenly appeared in her office and made her an offer... "I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth -even more power- and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents." Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, "Unlimited wealth and power?" "Absolutely unlimited," the Devil asserted. "A...

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Illinois is turning it’s Obamacare sales pitch into a joke. To get more people to sign up for health care, the state is bragging it will spend $150,000 on ads for the satirical news site The Onion. “We know that to effectively reach Young Invincibles – who are 53 percent of our uninsured residents in Illinois – we have to work with non-traditional, and especially digital, sources for news and entertainment. That’s where The Onion fits right into our outreach strategy,” Jennifer Koehler, executive director of Get Covered Illinois said in a news release. Neither Koehler nor...