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Keyword: joke

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  • Susan Rice Will Brief Congress on Syria on Anniversary of Benghazi

    09/08/2013 12:32:30 PM PDT · by Sub-Driver · 59 replies
    Susan Rice Will Brief Congress on Syria on Anniversary of Benghazi September 8, 2013 - 2:36 PM By Terence P. Jeffrey (CNSNews.com) - Susan Rice, who falsely told the nation that the terrorist attacks in Benghazi on Sept. 11, 2012 had developed out of a spontaneous demonstration against a YouTube video, will mark the one year anniversary of those attacks by briefing Congress to make the administration's case for authorizing President Barack Obama to use military force in Syria. The administration has decided to make Rice a key point person for pushing military intervention in Syria. On Monday, Rice will...
  • Mega-church downsizes, cuts non-essential members

    08/29/2013 11:06:02 AM PDT · by Gamecock · 99 replies
    WINSTON-SALEM — Julie and Bob Clark were stunned to receive a letter from their church in July asking them to “participate in the life of the church” — or worship elsewhere. “They basically called us freeloaders,” says Julie. “We were freeloaders,” says Bob. In a trend that may signal rough times for wallflower Christians, bellwether mega-church Faith Community of Winston-Salem has asked “non-participating members” to stop attending. “No more Mr. Nice Church,” says the executive pastor, newly hired from Cingular Wireless. “Bigger is not always better. Providing free services indefinitely to complacent Christians is not our mission.” “Freeloading” Christians were...
  • White House Picks Panel to Review NSA Programs

    08/22/2013 4:02:24 PM PDT · by shego · 16 replies
    ABC ^ | 8/21/13 | Mark Levine
    A group of veteran security experts and former White House officials has been selected to conduct a full review of U.S. surveillance programs and other secret government efforts disclosed over recent months, ABC News has learned. The recent acting head of the CIA, Michael Morell, will be among what President Obama called a “high-level group of outside experts” scrutinizing the controversial programs. Joining Morell on the panel will be former White House officials Richard Clarke, Cass Sunstein and Peter Swire. An announcement is expected Thursday, a source with knowledge of the matter told ABC News’ Jon Karl....
  • White House spokesman jokes about Islamic attacks on Christian churches in Egypt

    08/22/2013 7:01:36 AM PDT · by Morgana · 23 replies
    daily caller ^ | Neil Munro
    The White House’s deputy press secretary today downplayed Muslim attacks on Christians in Egypt, joking about the savagery that has left at least six Christians dead. Press secretary Josh Earnest was asked by Fox News’ correspondent, Ed Henry, if President Barack Obama has a “red line” beyond which he would act against Muslim attacks on Egyptian Christians. “Well, I didn’t bring my red pen out with me today,” Earnest joked. fter making his joke, Earnest said the administration is “outraged… and concerned” about the Muslim attacks on almost 100 churches, monasteries, orphanages and other marked Christian sites. Many Christians’ shops...
  • HEAVY METAL Band Name Generator:

    08/19/2013 1:23:46 PM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 71 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 19 August 2013 | Reaganite Republican
  • Best Gay Cowboy Joke Ever

    08/16/2013 12:11:55 PM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 44 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 16 August 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand... Two cowboys applied for the job: one was gay, and the other a drunk.  She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.  He soon proved to be a hard worker...
  • Clown’s Obama stunt at Missouri State Fair draws rebuke

    08/11/2013 8:22:31 PM PDT · by Cheerio · 47 replies
    Kansas City Star ^ | August 11, 2013 | MARK MORRIS
    Missouri State Fair officials and politicians on Sunday condemned the performance of a rodeo clown who donned a mask resembling President Barack Obama during Saturday’s bull riding competition. A tempest over the incident erupted after the website Show Me Progress reported a Facebook account of it.
  • Free Online HILLARY Games!

    08/11/2013 10:02:30 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 11 August 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    Action-packed fun for the whole family... More/links at Reaganite Republican... __________________________________________________________ TheHillaryProject    h/t BigFurHat
  • BREAKING: NJ Chris Christie Will Seek Re-election As Democrat (Satire)

    08/07/2013 7:49:43 PM PDT · by Mmogamer · 17 replies
    Rand Paul Review ^ | 9/7/13 | Michael Lotfi
    In a stunning move, NJ Chris Christie announced to a group of supporters with former President Clinton that he would seek reelection in 2014 as a democrat. The move comes after months of odd behavior from the former NJ republican.
  • Obama: 'We Don’t Have a Domestic Spying Program'

    08/06/2013 6:38:46 PM PDT · by Nachum · 55 replies
    Weekly Standard ^ | 8/6/13 | DANIEL HALPER
    President Obama tells comedian Jay Leno that "We don’t have a domestic spying program." He made the comment during a taping of Leno's TV show. Obama also says the U.S. is not overreacting by closing some U.S. embassies for a week. The president tells Leno, "The odds of dying in a terrorist attack are a lot lower than they are of dying in a car accident, unfortunately." And the president says of Russia's Putin, "There are times when they slip back into Cold War thinking and Cold War mentality. What I continually say to them and to President Putin, that’s...
  • WH calls for Beer Summit between DOJ and Zimmerman

    07/15/2013 7:19:14 AM PDT · by dps.inspect · 13 replies
    07/15/13 | Me
    The White House will announce today that a truce be called between DOJ and the failed conviction of that *%&$##@* White-Hispanic, George Zimmerman, by calling on both sides to meet at the White House Rose Garden for a few beers. It is said a few feathers got badly ruffled by the whole ordeal, especially since the weight of the government and the media lap dogs could not sway the general public to disregard fact and the law and convict on emotion alone. In essence, their strategy to ignite a raging fire across the land was unsuccessful, at least to the...
  • Joke "O" the day

    07/11/2013 6:54:45 AM PDT · by US Navy Vet · 3 replies
    11 July 2013
    The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried.... over time: weight lifters, longshoremen, etc., but nobody could do it. One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, "I'd like to try the bet."...
  • Snowden: Hong Kong Says US Got Name Wrong

    06/26/2013 5:02:06 PM PDT · by granada
    Sky news UK ^ | UK, Wednesday 26 June 2013 | By Sky News US Team
    FARMVILLE, Va. (WTVR)—The drive-thru itself was an innovative concept, but at this one, it’s unlikely you can order any fries or a shake. Carl Eggleston of Farmville believes in innovation when it comes to his funeral business. After 30 years in the business, he’s seen some changes and he’s tried to be one who keeps up with the times and needs of families. Next month he’ll have cameras installed in the chapel, so services can be viewed online for family out-of-state.
  • Russia Hits Back at U.S. Over Syria [BO is NOT feared or respected by World Leaders]

    06/14/2013 5:58:06 AM PDT · by SoFloFreeper · 18 replies
    Wall Street Journal ^ | 6/14/13 | Paul Sonne
    The Kremlin Friday dismissed as unconvincing evidence that U.S. officials provided of Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad's alleged use of chemical weapons and criticized Washington's decision to arm Syrian opposition fighters, but stopped short of threatening to deliver air-defense missiles to the Assad government in response. A senior Kremlin official said Moscow is "not yet" discussing the delivery of the advanced air-defense system in the wake of the U.S. decision. Last month, Russian officials threatened to fulfill the 2010 contract for the S-300 missiles as a way to deter potential outside military intervention in the two-year-old Syrian civil war. Western powers...
  • Bill Clinton ‘Father of the Year,’ says fatherhood is ‘greatest thing that ever happened to me’

    06/12/2013 3:18:16 PM PDT · by drewh · 50 replies
    NY Daily News ^ | Wednesday, June 12, 2013, 2:59 PM
    It’s the only title better than President of the United States. Bill Clinton was named “Father of the Year” by the National Father’s Day Committee on Tuesday as the former leader was celebrated by family and friends for his accomplishments as a dad. “I [RECEIVED]a text message from Hillary saying, ‘Congratulations. I think you deserve this,” a smiling Bill Clinton told an audience at a Save the Children benefit, where he was presented the award. “In our family, that’s a very big deal,” he said, according to PARADE. The former President’s daughter, Chelsea Clinton, made a surprise appearance to honor...
  • Jesus Christ Vs. The Prophet Mohammed [Video at link]

    05/22/2013 3:58:00 PM PDT · by SoFloFreeper · 11 replies
    Shark Tank ^ | 5/22/13 | JAVIER MANJARRES
    You knew it would only be a matter of time before someone released a side-by-side comparison video of Jesus Christ and the prophet Mohammed. Fox News contributor and funny man Steven “I am Canadian, Ay” Crowder, has put out a hilarious video where he effectively contrasts the teachings of Christ with those of Mohammed...
  • Sergio Garcia makes 'fried chicken' remark about Tiger Woods

    05/22/2013 1:53:08 AM PDT · by SoFloFreeper · 34 replies
    CBS ^ | 5/21/13 | Larry Hartstein
    Sergio Garcia's spat with Tiger Woods went to another level Tuesday. Asked in jest at the European Tour awards dinner in London whether he'd invite Woods over for dinner during next month's U.S. Open, Garcia replied, according to The Guardian: "We will have him round every night. We will serve fried chicken." Garcia later apologized, issuing this statement: “I apologize for any offense that may have been caused by my comment on stage during the European Tour Players' Awards dinner. I answered a question that was clearly made towards me as a joke with a silly remark, but in no...
  • Susan Rice to be honored with “Great American Award” for “strengthening the world’s common security”

    05/07/2013 10:31:31 AM PDT · by smoothsailing · 83 replies
    Red Alert Politics ^ | 5-7-2013 | Kelsey Osterman
    May 7, 2013 Susan Rice to be honored with “Great American Award” for “strengthening the world’s common security” Kelsey Osterman U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Susan Rice will be honored Tuesday night with the 2013 Louis E. Martin Great American Award.The annual award, presented by The Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, is given to “an exemplar of change, progress and coalition-building across racial lines,” according to a press release.Specifically, the organization is honoring Rice for ”her work in advancing U.S. interests, strengthening the world’s common security and prosperity, and promoting respect for human rights,” another press release states.The...
  • Was the Bagram 747 Crash a Terrorist Drone/UAV Attack in the Runway Kill Zone (RKZ)?

    05/02/2013 8:45:09 AM PDT · by Seizethecarp · 72 replies
    Runway Kill Zone (blog) ^ | May 2, 2013 | 2branta
    The horrific crash of a 747-400 at Bagram (here) has yet to be fully investigated and claims are already being made that it was a stall caused by a loose cargo that caused tail of the aircraft to drop and the nose to rise depriving the wings of lift. Maybe. The Bagram 747 crash has many similarities to the even more horrific crash of AWACS flight Yukla-27, (here) which was caused by the aircraft striking at least two Canada Geese in the Runway Kill Zone (RKZ) as discussed on an earlier post on this blog (here). Terrorists familiar with the...
  • My favorite joke

    05/01/2013 12:31:35 PM PDT · by econjack · 67 replies
    friend | 5/1/2013 | unknown
    A guy is out walking in a field and spots a large hole in the ground. He walks over to it and peers over the edge. He can't see the bottom, so he looks around and spots a pebble. He tosses the pebble in the hole, cocks his head, and listens. Nothing. He looks around again, sees a large boulder, hefts it up and waddles over to the edge of the hole and heaves it it and cocks his head. Nothing. He looks around once more and spots a large railroad tie. With considerable effort, he drags it to the...