Free Republic

A Georgia judge has blasted attorney Orly Taitz, who has handled a number of court challenges to President Barack Obama's eligibility under the constitutional demand the Oval Office be occupied only by a "natural born" citizen, fining her $20,000 for what he called "frivolous" court actions, and he then mocked the concern over Obama's background. "Although counsel's present concern is the location of the president's birth, it does not take much imagination to extend the theory to his birthday," wrote U.S. District Judge Clay Land in an order released today. "Perhaps, he looks 'too young' to be president, and he...

So beatings are now a form of contraception? Get this, according to the Salt Lake Tribune: A judge has released a 17-year-old Vernal girl from jail after ruling she did not commit a crime when she allegedly paid a man to beat her in an attempt to end her late-term pregnancy...Eighth District Juvenile Court Judge Larry Steele sided with attorney Rich King, who argued under Utah law and around the country women are not held criminally liable for soliciting an abortion. "Women may use any procedure or method of terminating pregnancy, by abortion or by miscarriage, and they cannot be...

Jackie and Dunlap weigh in on Obama's surprising Nobel Peace Prize win. Does he deserve it? (Youtube video)

(Oct. 11, 2009) — Attorney Orly Taitz, esq. has filed a Request for Judicial Notice in the case Captain Pamela Barnett et al. vs. Barack Hussein Obama et al., which is being heard by Judge David O. Carter, in the Federal District Court at Santa Ana, California. Judge Carter was featured by the Post & Email yesterday in a Spotlight Report. The filing requests the Court’s recognition of the arguments concerning standing in cases wherein racketeering & fraud is involved. Dr. Taitz, lead counsel for the Plaintiffs, argues thus: The Plaintiffs have repeatedly alleged that the election of 2008 was...

Do you have anti-gun Democratic friends who do not seem as ‘joyous’ as they were after the election of the “Great One�? Maybe they’re worried about their ‘security’ at home with the increasing “residential crime� they’ve been reading about. Also, maybe they realize now that the police can’t be everywhere to protect them within seconds. Well here’s ‘good news’ for them. Smith & Wesson has just announced a new handgun designed just for the person who is un-familiar with – and possibly afraid of – handguns, yet wants to have adequate home protection: The “SW18044L� (‘L’ signifies ‘liberal’).. You will...

<p>Every so often, actual breaking news is so absurd that parody is the only answer. After news of President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize broke on Friday, the website, FreeRepublic.com was deluged by its members with Breaking News! parody posts.</p> <p>The faux headlines kept me giggling all day, and a few have already made it into my inbox via e-mails gone viral. Sometimes, ya just have to laugh.</p>

Chevy Chase Village (Maryland) is looking to spend $30,000 raised by speed cameras to buy 12 Tasers for its police force. Village Police Chief Roy Gordon said Tasers were an important public safety tool that would give his officers a less deadly option than a firearm. "Anytime we can put a tool in the hands of a police officer that's going to be less than lethal force, why not?" Gordon said. But Montgomery County Councilman Phil Andrews, a longtime supporter of speed cameras, said the money raised by the machines ought to be spent on fixing the problems they were...

THIS must be one of the greatest blogs of all time. Hint ... one of the old lesbians looks like ... Michael Moore.

A father missed the birth of his first son after being arrested for groping a nurse on the way to the delivery room. Police said Adam Manning sexually assaulted the nurse as she wheeled his wife into the delivery room. The 30 year old had told the nurse she was "cute" then reached round to grab her breasts. Police in Ogden, Utah, were called to the hospital and arrested Manning on charges of forcible sexual assault. When later asked about his actions he said he had no idea why he carried out the assault. Police confirmed that he missed the...

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT, CENTRAL DISTRICT OF CALIFORNIA Notice of Electronic Filing The following transaction was entered by Taitz, Orly on 10/11/2009 at 12:57 PM PDT and filed on 10/11/2009 Come now the Plaintiffs with this Request for Judicial Notice that Individual Damages are not required in public sector mail & wire fraud relating to political corruption under 18 U.S.C. §1346, together with notice of filing expanded report by Susan Daniels. During this Court’s hearing on October 5, 2009, the Court searchingly examined counsel for the Plaintiffs and Defendants regarding the sole threshold question of “standing.” Plaintiffs’ provided arguments of...

Last week's SNL opener was a hopeful start for those of us who believed the crew at SNL would never find anything humorous about the Obama presidency.   This week they were handed a golden  premise on a Nobel Prize platter and fell flat.  Just Karl of Patterico and Green Room fame saw it coming 13 hours before air time.  That alone was funnier than anything in the skit.  After a long look around conservative websites, I have come to the conclusion we know how to spot humor and how to write it.  Here is a top ten list that I...

For the second week in a row Saturday Night Live has gone after President Obama. This time they lampoon him for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Here's the link to a video of it. http://storyballoon.org/videos/saturday-night-live-makes-fun-of-obamas-nobel-peace-prize-win/

Do you miss those days in Little League when everyone received a trophy no matter how poorly you played? Now glory can be yours, for the Nobel Peace Prize is within reach of even the most incompetent fools. Just open a box of Cracker Jack.

However, if your eyes have been opened to the battle being waged for the future of this country, a good laugh has probably been the furthest thing from your mind - and this sentiment I understand. With that said, I firmly believe that those of us caught up in the turmoil of today may be withholding one of the most powerful tools for the ultimate victory of conservative values and the survival of the nation. So, for humor’s sake, please humor me as I recount a story from the plains that will have applicability to not only politics but to...

Video link, kinda funny, mirrors all the vanities about the "Peace Prize". Gotta love those progressives from Norway.

Woken up at 6 a.m. to be told that He had just won the Cannabis Cup, and as shocked as everyone else at the news, United States President Barack Obama was humble in his words to the press. "I knew there was something special about this White House lawn," the seedmaster said, "With over two centuries of well cared for soil, I wanted to test my own special blend." Replacing the White House Rose Garden with what Obama told his family were "African-American Sunflowers", the recently harvested crop took this years Cup hands down and over easy. "I am humbled,"...

Washington, Oct. 9 - President Obama today announced his latest appointment. Jehovah Yahweh has been selected to serve as Czar of Celestial Mechanics and Natural Law. Yahweh, Obama said in a prepared statement, would also be responsible for an additional portfolio of duties including disaster prevention and relief, wireless communications, and eternal judgment of all souls. "All of this, naturally, will come under the strict oversight and personal accountability of our president," said the presidential spokesman at this morning's press briefing. After the meeting, the press was invited to the mandatory morning worship services for Dear Leader...

Please take the time to welcome our new mod, Barak Hussein Obama!

AP: (Absolutely Phenomenal) Barack Hussein Obama has become the first man in history to preemptively step foot on Mars. After such an accomplishment there can be no other accolade possible...or is there? What awaits Mr. Amazing next? One can only think of the many amazing things that their more than mortal man is.

BREAKING: Future Miss America 2011 - Barack Husein 0bama

"After all, the president said, what's King done lately?"

This video basically encapsulates the Obama Administration, Modern American Politics, and the criteria for determining the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. Comically tragic.

Barack Hussien Obama wins the Indy 500 for the 4th consecutive time. Rest of field declines to test his mettle - refuse to finish race!

His rendition of the Americanized version of "Deutschlandlied" -- Amerikalandlied -- riveted the entire panel. When he got to the "We will crush Capitalism and bow or heads before the world" lyric the entire audience was on its feet and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. The producers are now trying to decide if there is any point in continuing the series, since the Best Performer Ever has been found. As an aside, judge Simon Cowell noted: "What is truly amazing about this performance is it was done via a letter written by someone named TOTUS..."

Browsing Free Republic this morning, it seems like a lot of people are shocked by the choice of Barack Hussein Obama (mmm, mmm, mmm) as the 2009 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. Even non-conservative sources (see The London Times and The Taliban??!!!) are commenting with disbelief. I think we ought to collect one-liners or jokes about it, for upcoming water cooler discussions. Have at it!

AMERICANS have condemned the Hey Hey It's Saturday "Jackson Five" skit, with US TV talkshows, news bulletins and talkback radio debating whether it was racist and if Harry Connick Jr was correct to take a stand. As Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard also entered the fray today, defending the Hey Hey's intent, on one of America's top-rating morning TV talkshows, The View, it was labelled "demeaning". "We are in what people like to call post-racial America right now with (Barack) Obama in office," The View co-host, Joy Behar, said on air. "I'm not saying that it (racism) is gone, but...

By Andrew W. Griffin Red Dirt Report, editor Posted: October 6, 2009 reddirtreporter@gmail.com REVIEW – Larry The Cable Guy – Tailgate Party (WBR Nashville) 2009 When it comes to gittin’-r-done, country comedian Larry The Cable Guy (Dan Whitney) is usually on the mark. His 2005 comedy recording, The Right To Bare Arms, was a hit and the off-color jokes, redneck observations and timing – believe it or not – were, well, funny. This time, on the just-released live comedy recording Tailgate Party, on the WBR Nashville label, Larry does his routine before 50,000 fans at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Nebraska.,...

Dead whale in Tampa Bay was hit by shipThe Associated Press Last Modified: Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 2:41 p.m. ST. PETERSBURG - The 41-foot-whale found floating in the Port of Tampa last weekend was killed by a ship out in the Gulf of Mexico. That was the word Tuesday from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, which performed a necropsy. **SNIP** He said it was "a clear-cut case of a ship strike." The animal was found floating in Tampa Bay Sunday morning. It was towed to Fort DeSoto Park in St. Petersburg, where it was buried Monday.

- Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes. - Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First. - Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish. - Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth. - Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a...

Obama hearing Monday 10/5/2009 8AM U.S. District Court Santa Ana, CA.

Attorney Orly Taitz, the “birther” lawyer under threat of sanctions by U.S. District Court Judge Clay Land for filing a “frivolous” lawsuit, filed a motion Friday asking the judge to recuse himself because of personal contacts and financial stakes he may have with President Barack Obama’s administration. Land was appointed to the bench by President George W. Bush. Taitz represented Army Capt. Connie Rhodes when she filed a Sept. 4 complaint arguing Rhodes shouldn’t be deployed to Iraq because Obama couldn’t legitimately hold office. Land not only ruled against Rhodes, but ordered Taitz to explain why he should not fine...

MOTION TO RECUSE THE HONORABLE CLAY D. LAND PURSUANT TO 28 U.S.C. §§144 and 455(a)"...First, there is some circumstantial evidence that Judge Clay D. Land may have had extrajudicial and ex-parte contacts with the Obama administration, in particular from Attorney General Eric Holder (See Affidavit, Exhibit A). Second, a preliminary review of the results of the Honorable Judge Clay D. Land’s public disclosures concerning his investments, it Motion to Recuse the Honorable Clay D. Land, M.D. Georgia, pursuant to 28 U.S.C. §§144 and 455(a) 2 also appears to the undersigned that Judge Land may be disqualified because he has equity...

Nearly 30 former Procter & Gamble workers who were fired for e-mailing pictures of naked people and off-color jokes about President Obama through the company's computers are fighting to collect unemployment benefits, saying they didn't do anything wrong because "everyone else" did it, too. At a hearing Friday in South Scranton, the company's attorney, Ben Josielevski of Scranton, said the workers broke harassment and discrimination policies that are laid out in the company's business conduct manual, which employees are required to sign. Twenty-nine workers at the Procter & Gamble plant in Washington Twp. near Mehoopany were fired in two rounds...

The last parody in this vein has done 100,000 views on YouTube. This one, from Catholic Vote Reaction(!), deserves to do more. My professional opinion? Racist.

Just for fun on a Friday evening. We all saw multiple videos of adorable school children singing about America's first Cult of Personality, but here at RightCondition we have an exclusive sneak peek at songs that you will never hear - because they were deemed too controversial for public schools. Unfortunately we were only able to secure bits and pieces, but if you know the original then sing your heart out, show those 4th graders who is boss. Distribution - Based on Revolution by Beatles He says he wants some distri-bution! Well you know He is going to (hope)change the...

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such...

Oprah has announced she is changing her lineup of shows for next week and will be hosting a series of shows on the dangers of Talk Radio and will ask America "Should talk radio be banned?" She said she would labor for the Fairness Doctrine to stop the dangerous rhetoric on conservative talk radio ... She promises to give all senators and congressman a brand new car if they will vote for the Fairness Doctrine. We contacted several congressman for comment but they were out at local car lots picking out their model .. More to follow ...

Something terrible is happening... Overpaid celebrities don't have a big enough voice when it comes to Healthcare Reform.

There are so many depressing news lately, every once in a while we have to laugh or we’ll go meshugue! I came across an interesting new blog of mostly Jewish video content. It does have some funny videos, some serious also! Bits that everyone can appreciate and… no, you don’t have to be Jewish even. Don’t listen to the news, don’t read the paper unless you have some aspirins handy and a psychiatrist is in the same room with you. (I can recommend my friend Morrisd, tell him I sent you and he’ll give you a nice discount!) Meanwhile, laugh...

The liberal reaction to this Roman Polanski matter has been slightly off kilter, don't you think? The media has made it it's job to defend him. Hollywood supports him. Hey, it's just like he's a Democratic candidate. All we need now are the teacher's unions to support him. So in anticipation of that, CMR has decided to move the process along a little and come up with lyrics for teachers to teach their children to chant just like they did with Obama. Mm, mmm, mm! Roman Raymond Polanski He said 13 or 14 years old is alright All ages are...

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines. 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. 4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real...

Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up... He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door..' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by...

If you’ve been keeping abreast of the latest environmental news than you’ve already heard that plush toilet paper is bad for the planet. No doubt you’ve wanted to do your part. Well, if you’ve got Al Gore’s back he’s got yours because one good environmental movement deserves another. Introducing the Re-Usab-Al!

From Cloris Leachman to Evander Holyfield, Tatum O’Neal to Jerry Springer , Priscilla Presley to Steve-O. You’d think we’d seen it all on ABC TV’s “Dancing With The Stars.” But those crafty “Dancing With The Stars” producers just keep surprising us with something unusual each season. The contestant choices are designed to keep us on our toes, but more often I think they just keep our fingers on the remote. In the interest of better judgment, here are ten celebrities I hope we never, ever have to see as “Dancing With The Stars” contestants! Britney Spears: Haven’t we had just...

Most world leaders try to avoid repeating gaffes. Not Silvio Berlusconi. The Italian Prime Minister has called President Obama “tanned” again — but this time he did not miss the opportunity to joke about the First Lady’s skin colour as well. After his return from the G20 summit in Pittsburgh, Mr Berlusconi told a rally of conservative supporters that he was bringing greetings from someone in the United States. “What’s his name? Some tanned guy. Ah, Barack Obama,” he said. He then added: “You won’t believe it, but the two of them sunbathe together, because the wife is also tanned.”...

Said one congressional staffer, “It’s Obama’s legislation, why shouldn’t he be covered as well?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eknuqWQ4-Mw

Washington DC - After a series of fits and starts the White House today announced it has come into full compliance the tough new environmental standards set forth by congress this year. President Obama, once known for the brilliant, angelic radiance that accompanied him wherever he campaigned, has converted his beaming glow into a more energy-friendly Compact Flourescent Halo or CFH.

The new "green" movie, The Age of Stupid, attacks the idea of flying in airplanes because the producers believe it is harmful for the environment. Guess how most of the promoters and producers of this film arrived at the Manhattan premiere? The answer is wonderfully provided in this video featuring Phelim McAleer. For a good chuckle, check this out and more HERE

Budweiser has a series of commercials called, "Real Men of Genius". They actually name these commercials, like "Mr. Nudist Colony Activity Coordinator", or "Mr. Giant Foam Finger Maker". Ok, here is my contribution to Budweiser's "Real Men of Genius" commercials. I call this one, "Mr. Complicated Tax Code Writer". Singer in background: "Real Men of Genius" Announcer: Today, we salute you, Mr. Complicated Tax Code Writer! (Singer in background: "Mr. Complicated Tax Code Writer") Announcer: High on your seat in DC, you are the brightest and smartest who knows best for everyone. Getting paid to think of new ways to...