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Posts by sodpoodle

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  • Trump sells California to Mexico

    04/22/2017 3:20:28 PM PDT · 41 of 64
    sodpoodle to stylin19a

    GOOD ONE!!!

  • Trump sells California to Mexico

    04/22/2017 3:18:48 PM PDT · 40 of 64
    sodpoodle to dayglored

    You just won the discussion;)

    I am not the author. LOL!!!!!

  • Trump sells California to Mexico

    04/22/2017 3:11:49 PM PDT · 37 of 64
    sodpoodle to SandRat

    ****THIS WAS YOUR ATTEMPT AT HUMMOR, RIGHT?****

    Cannot take the credit for a superb satirical essay - I’m not a literati.

    Oh, and there is a spell check available before posting.

  • Trump sells California to Mexico

    04/22/2017 1:47:40 PM PDT · 12 of 64
    sodpoodle to 2ndDivisionVet

    No, he plans to buy China later..... for a new golf course;)

  • Jay Walking with Leno

    04/22/2017 1:43:29 PM PDT · 4 of 14
    sodpoodle to Halgr

    Hard to imagine where our physicians, researchers and other professionals will learn the basics for survival.

    Iphones should ask a dozen common knowledge questions before the phone will operate. That would be more challenging than a password.

  • Trump sells California to Mexico

    04/22/2017 1:38:01 PM PDT · 1 of 64
    sodpoodle
    He also noted that Federal money saved from the reduction of California citizens on US social programs will allow those social programs to be cash positive in less than 3 years. Mexican President Nieto announced that he has already introduced a bill to the Mexican Congress asking to change his country's name to MexiCal.

    Other benefits President Trump intends to discuss during this evening's prime time address include: California will now be able to act as a sanctuary state within MexiCal noting that there is much more room for the refugees who will find the climate in the State of California more desirable than the climate in US cities such as NYC, Detroit or Chicago.

    The elimination of the existing border between Mexico and California will allow drugs to flow more freely between Mexico and the users in Hollywood. Drug tunnel diggers at the Tijuana border will now be able to use their skills to dig tunnels under Los Angeles to help ease congestion in that city and allow rioters to move about the city's universities more freely

    The U.S. taxpayer will no longer be on the hook for any future disaster relief required once the next megaquake hits California.

    The space in the Capitol and other DC buildings vacated by representatives of California will be fumigated and turned into "time-out rooms" for the press as well as Liberty Centers where US citizens can meet with their congressmen to discuss the pursuit of economic freedom.

    Nancy Pelosi released a statement stating that she looks forward to making the Mexican President's life miserable and prefers the year round weather in Mexico City to that of DC. Her office has already announced a schedule of fund raising activities for what is believed to be an upcoming campaign to run for President of MexiCal.

    Papers released along with Trump's statement reveal that a newly incorporated real estate company, pmurT, Inc., which was intimately involved in the deal discussions, will receive a broker fee of $25 billion on the California sale. An anonymous pmurT, Inc. representative has revealed that the profits on the deal are HUGE and will be used to purchase, develop and convert all abandoned US Federal facilities in California into special high end retreats and resorts which will assist California residents with managing their euphoria and transition into the nanny state they have so long desired to be.

    The exact northern border of the new MexiCal is still under negotiation. Apparently the White House is concerned that certain members of congress may be unwilling to give up California's wine country and are suggesting that the northern boarder align with the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge.

    California residents will be issued special blue cards to cross the border into the US so that the total number of California liberals entering the US can be tracked and at any point in time not exceed predetermined levels. Residents that remain in California after the effective date of the sale will not be allowed to seek refugee status in the US in the future.

    Mexican President Nieto stated he is thrilled with the deal and is looking forward to declaring Spanish the national language for his newly acquired territory and opening SSL (Spanish as a second language) schools throughout California. He also noted that funding for the transaction would come from the Mexican drug cartels, which have agreed to provide low interest loans to Mexico so long as they are allowed to move their cash out of Switzerland and the Cayman Islands back into Mexico tax free. He also said he considers the fact that a Disney park will now be located within his country an added bonus.

    White House representatives refused to confirm rumors that a similar deal was in the works for the sale of Northeastern states from NY through Maine, to Canada.

    President Trump wrapped up his statement stating, "this deal is HUGE and while territorially, the U.S. will be smaller, it will help Make America Great Again".

  • Jay Walking with Leno

    04/22/2017 1:29:22 PM PDT · 1 of 14
    sodpoodle
    turn volume up - or you'll miss out.
  • 13 Most Ridiculous Predictions Made on Earth Day, 1970

    04/22/2017 11:49:24 AM PDT · 30 of 122
    sodpoodle to freedumb2003

    Pompous know-it-alls clearly did not study the history of the Universe, geology, meteorology, flora, or fauna for the eons of change/metamorphosis and all the other miracles of rebirth and natural recycling.

    Humans use & change earth’s resources - we call it consuming or farming or manufacturing. We also have mass deaths through wars, plague and catastrophes...after which there is an increase in births. The ENDLESS rhythm of life death and change in the hands of a Greater power or Mother Nature (for the greenies).

    I expect scientists to study all aspects of a subject before running their mouths; otherwise known as pontificatin’ pollutin’.

  • Hypocrisy in the Anti-O'Reilly Army

    04/22/2017 9:01:02 AM PDT · 17 of 25
    sodpoodle to yoe

    Have cut down on FOX and never watch CNN, ABC,CBS. I get the information I need from OAN (One America News). Not crazy about all the young females - they talk too quickly;) but one thing is driving me NUTS.

    Someone please identify the veteran announcer who narrates the ‘history items’ during breaks. Is it Charles Osgood??? Not found on internet searches.

    Thanks

  • Saturday Snickers

    04/22/2017 5:17:59 AM PDT · 6 of 11
    sodpoodle to alfa6

    Great site ;)

  • Saturday Snickers

    04/22/2017 5:12:40 AM PDT · 4 of 11
    sodpoodle

    Bertha and Betty had been friends all of their lives.

    When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day.

    One day Betty said, “Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: When you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s women’s softball there.”

    Bertha looked up at Betty from her deathbed and said, “Betty, you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.”

    Shortly after that, Bertha passed on.

    A few nights later, Betty was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, “Betty, Betty.”

    “Who is it?” asked Betty, sitting up suddenly. “Who is it?”

    “Betty — it’s me, Bertha.”

    “You’re not Bertha. Bertha just died.”

    “I’m telling you, it’s me, Bertha,” insisted the voice.

    “Bertha! Where are you?”

    “In heaven,” replied Bertha. “I have some really good news and a little bad news.”

    “Tell me the good news first,” said Betty.

    “The good news,” Bertha said, “is that there’s women’s softball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me are here, too. Even better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always springtime and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.”

    “That’s fantastic,” said Betty. “It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?”

    “You’re pitching Tuesday.”

  • Saturday Snickers

    04/22/2017 5:10:25 AM PDT · 2 of 11
    sodpoodle

    I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).

    As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.

    The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

    Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,’ she said.

    I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers..

    I love mustard.

    I had no napkin.

    I licked it off.

    It was not mustard.

    No man ever put a baby down faster.

    It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my
    tongue protruding out.

    With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine
    shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

    Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my
    wife Said, ‘Now you know why they call that fancy mustard
    Poupon.’’

  • Saturday Snickers

    04/22/2017 5:08:48 AM PDT · 1 of 11
    sodpoodle
    More on the way;)
  • Pregnant prairie dogs need to be protected not shot

    04/21/2017 2:24:41 PM PDT · 26 of 69
    sodpoodle to mdittmar

    STOP THE HATE!!!!!

    Settlers called them “dogs” and “sod poodles” because of their high-pitched, bark-like call.

  • Today's Toons 4/18/17

    04/21/2017 2:14:16 PM PDT · 15 of 18
    sodpoodle to pookie18

    I checked a couple of jokes - funny stuff.

    That friend I mentioned also sends great comics, but I don’t know how to post them or I would send them to you for your threads.

    Lazy me;)

  • Teacher filled Cialis scrip before ‘kidnapping’ teen student

    04/21/2017 1:41:17 PM PDT · 41 of 65
    sodpoodle to ChicagoConservative27

    Here’s another Cummins wannabe!!!!! The victim is 13.

    https://patch.com/maryland/owingsmills

    BALTIMORE COUNTY, MD — A Baltimore County middle school teacher is being held without bail after police said he sexually abused a 13-year-old girl during school hours.

    Chadwick F. Zamarron, 35, of the 4300 block of Breeders Cup Court in Randallstown, is a teacher at Northwest Academy of Health Sciences.

    Police allege Zamarron became physically involved with the teen in February and March.

  • 'She barely spoke and he kept her in the car': Caretaker details how he recognized and then....

    04/21/2017 1:36:34 PM PDT · 20 of 20
    sodpoodle to Morgana

    Here’s another Cummins wannabe!!!!! Too busy to start a thread.

    https://patch.com/maryland/owingsmills

    BALTIMORE COUNTY, MD — A Baltimore County middle school teacher is being held without bail after police said he sexually abused a 13-year-old girl during school hours.

    Chadwick F. Zamarron, 35, of the 4300 block of Breeders Cup Court in Randallstown, is a teacher at Northwest Academy of Health Sciences.

    Police allege Zamarron became physically involved with the teen in February and March.

  • Today's Toons 4/18/17

    04/21/2017 1:24:47 PM PDT · 13 of 18
    sodpoodle to pookie18

    Thanks Pookie. That is such a great site - I’ll try to post one on your threads - will hitch a ride when you are driving the humor bus;)

  • Missing Tennessee student found with teacher in California

    04/21/2017 3:12:19 AM PDT · 3 of 4
    sodpoodle to blueplum

    One cabin is not a commune.

    Seems as if he knew about this remote area and bunked down in the wrong cabin.

    Thank the Lord.

  • BREAKING NEWS: Former Tennessee teacher is arrested and his 15-year-old student is found safe...

    04/20/2017 3:49:29 PM PDT · 52 of 58
    sodpoodle to Twinkie

    ******There has been a time-honored thing if/when a child is
    raped, it is not reported on the news. The name or identity
    of the child is not reported. - ******

    Yes - that protocol seems to have been abandoned because of the Amber alert. Remembering all the recent student rape cases, the investigators did not reveal the identities of victims until trial = and then their testimony is not often filmed for the public.

    Good point Twinkie.