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Posts by Oatka

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Clinton weighs staff shake-up after New Hampshire (rearranging desk chairs on the Titanic)

    02/08/2016 5:38:14 PM PST · 19 of 24
    Oatka to FlingWingFlyer
    One of my favorites

    The first time I heard it, I was in tears of laughter, as it was right after her [in]famous 10 straight commodity trades - buying at the exact lows and selling at the exact highs - a feat no one in the trade had even be able to do before - or since.

    Kinda like those coin tosses in Iowa.

    Must have been born under a lucky star. (cough)

  • The Latest: Attackers Torch Refugee Center in Prague

    02/08/2016 5:29:50 PM PST · 10 of 31
    Oatka to 11th_VA
    This 50 sec vid was emailed to me: An after-lunch survey of German refugee camp

    The politicians who brought those people into their country should be hung from lamp posts.

  • Guns Are Virulent Viruses: Wipe Them Out!

    02/08/2016 10:09:05 AM PST · 33 of 42
    Oatka to rktman
    Guns Are Virulent Viruses

    Some years ago, TV aired a seminar for trial lawyers that used the meme.

    Some guy (in a white coat no less, therefore he's a doctor and MUST be right!) stood before a chart, pointer in hand and began to make a comparison between the spread of "gun violence" and John Snow's study of the 1854 cholera outbreak. (He found that cholera was spread by contaminated water, not air, and identified a specific public water pump.)

    Spouting the catchword phrase "focus of infection", he singled out gun ownership. The camera panned across the audience, showing all these supposedly educated people nodding their heads in agreement and madly typing on their laptops.

    I wish I had taped it as it was a great example of the psychobabble these antis use - and the gullibility of some people.

  • Is that Quicken Loans Super Bowl ad an omen of another housing crash?

    02/08/2016 9:50:58 AM PST · 9 of 12
    Oatka to Oldexpat
    They are back giving out liars loans to minorities and illegals

    After The Crash, I read that the illegals in CA were selling their house to a relative each time the "value" increased $100,000 - some three or more times. When the balloon burst, the current holder of the mortgage fled back to Mexico, along with his relatives, who are now living the Good Life, courtesy of the stupid Gringos.

  • CDTA video of alleged UAlbany attack 'not clear-cut' [Black Lies Matter]

    02/08/2016 9:10:09 AM PST · 7 of 8
    Oatka to Fitzy_888
    though the audio quality is often "bad" and sometimes nonexistent

    Off topic, but statements like these tick me off. What's the use of having cameras if they are either off, disabled, or take such poor quality vids?

    We watch the crime shows and all too often, it is the same old baloney "too fuzzy to make out, wasn't working, etc.". IMO, these cameras are often set up as a feel-good CYA rather than a aid in crime solving and so the cheapest unit is bought.

    In the "There Oughta be a Law" category, there should be some standard mandated that would actually help the authorities identify someone using high-quality images, even if it meant a subsidy - it would be a one-time outlay. With all the taxpayers' money peed away, this is one area where it would be well-spent.

  • The Coming Hillary Meltdown? (Desperate Dems LOL alert)

    02/07/2016 1:43:49 PM PST · 40 of 42
    Oatka to PIF
    and then surprising everyone, Michelle announces ...

    My wife has been saying that since the campaign started. I blew it off, but now . . .

  • Bush loyalists concede the end may be in sight

    02/07/2016 1:33:10 PM PST · 30 of 30
    Oatka to jimbo123
    there is an increasing sense that Jeb Bush is running out of time to demonstrate strength.


  • Active Shootings Are Just This Fast

    02/07/2016 8:58:52 AM PST · 15 of 34
    Oatka to rstrahan
    Wife thinks I am somewhat paranoid as I am always looking around, especially in malls, etc.

    At restaurants and fast food places, I used to sit with my back to the center so I could look out the window. Recently I began sitting facing the center (back to wall, window). Wife asked why and I explained Situational Awareness. She didn't say I was paranoid but did look askance.

    Nowadays, she's pointing out where the exits are and automatically heads for a spot where we can keep watch on the rest of the place. One thing I told her was if we see an armored car parked outside the bank, box store, etc., we use the other entrance. If we happen to be there when the guys come out with bags in their hands, we go on high alert. She thought that was a bit much - until we started watching crime shows and saw some that where there was an attempted heist and bullets were flying everywhere.

    All that being said, we were still a bit low key as we live in a somewhat rural area where "these things don't happen" (cough).

    With the influx of all these Muslims, I feel like we will have move cafe, mall, public shootings, etc. as in Israel, and thus our SA meter now indicates high readings wherever we go.

  • Could You Stomach the Horrors of 'Halftime' in Ancient Rome?

    02/06/2016 5:20:58 PM PST · 39 of 65
    Oatka to EveningStar
    Bestiarii even went so far as to instruct condemned men and women on how to behave in the ring to guarantee a quick death for themselves - and a better show. The bestiarii could leave nothing to chance.
    YEARS ago I read a paperback that detailed some of this. As pointed out, the animals basically feared humans, so the Bestiarii had slaves dress in burlap with chunks of human flesh sewed to the fabric. Said slave would then cower and be submissive before the animal and after a while, the animal figured "What the Hell". Sometime it didn't stop at the chunks.

    Perhaps most shockingly, it was said that he was among the few bestiarii who could command animals to rape human beings, including bulls, zebras, stallions, wild boars and giraffes, among others.
    The same book mentioned how they trained baboons to rape pre-teen girls for the entertainment of the audience.

    One blooper was pulled when they starved some lions and then led the Christians into the arena. The lions keeled over dead from starvation and there was a scramble to get replacements for the animals - and afterwards, for the Christians.

    A tale of Karma related that some really despicable pervs would line the path where the Christians had to enter the arena and molested them before they went out. One emperor was disgusted with them to the point that he threw them into the arena as well. The crowd loved it.

  • People Have A 'Fundamental Right' To Own Assault Weapons, Court Rules(WHAT!)

    02/05/2016 7:33:48 AM PST · 18 of 26
    Oatka to Little Ray
    Citizens have a right and, arguably, a duty to own the weapons and equipment of a light infantryman, including crew served weapons, anti-tank weapons, etc.

    "Happiness is a belt-fed weapon." :-)

  • Confessions of a Sociopath [fyi]

    02/05/2016 7:26:09 AM PST · 23 of 41
    Oatka to ctdonath2
    Helps you identify various dangerous people and deal with them

    Back when I was taking some late-in-life college courses, the prof was discussing a "disgusting" book. Forgot the name, but it detailed how to screw everybody so you can get to the top. He spent a good 15 minutes vilifying the author and the subject.

    Stopping to catch his breath, he asked for a show of hands of those who would read it. Mine was the only one that went up. The rest of the class looked at me in horror or revulsion.

    He said (with a superior smirk) that evidently I agreed with the tactics (and was therefore a Bad Person), otherwise why in the world would I read such a book.

    I explained that I could then recognize the tactics some back-stabber would use in trying to get ahead of me, and take appropriate counter-measures.

    There was a "Look, there's Elvis!" moment as we moved on to something else. After class a couple of classmates came over and said that they never thought of that.

  • Jeb Bush Tells All His Haters To 'Take A Chill Pill' (VIDEO)

    02/04/2016 4:47:50 PM PST · 35 of 40
    Oatka to jimbo123
  • Militia meltdown: Is Oregon standoff really about govt insiders selling U.S. uranium to Russia?

    02/04/2016 4:27:05 PM PST · 19 of 19
    Oatka to chemical_boy
    More likely the Russians would want the land to be taken by the feds and added to the refuge. One less source of Uranium.

    As with the Escalante Staircase National Monument in Utah. That little deal locked up 7 billion tons of coal after a "campaign donation" to Clinton by the Indonesian Lippo conglomerate, who has wide coal interests.

  • 10,000 Migrants to be Housed in Berlin’s Luxury Hotels While Local Homeless Go Without Shelter

    02/04/2016 4:15:43 PM PST · 39 of 39
    Oatka to likebefore
    I wonder if the hotels will be forced to stop preparing any pig-based foods while the "guests" are there, even if PAYING guests want them?

    I read of one business where the Muslim workers wanted a separate microwave because the infidels cooked pork in the company issued one.

    They didn't get it. Hope if that issue arises over there, they will have the same luck - but I doubt it - it seems mass insanity has infected officials of many European nations.

  • Establishment Panic! Trump Can Win Illinois

    02/04/2016 4:09:04 PM PST · 23 of 24
    Oatka to Larry Lucido
    But the retarted blogger said panic and used exclamation points. Your argument is invalid.

    Unlike someone who can't spell retarded, or is in such a hurry to put someone down, he ignores the spell check option.

  • Donald Trump Tweets: Ted Cruz 'Stole' Iowa, Results Should Be 'Nullified'

    02/03/2016 8:29:56 PM PST · 149 of 200
    Oatka to Hoodat
    Donald Trump Tweets: Ted Cruz 'Stole' Iowa, Results Should Be 'Nullified'

    Geez, he's starting to sound like Al Gore in 2000.

    He lost, deal with it and move on. They're not gonna do a recount and all this whining just gives ammo to his detractors.

    If he keeps crying this way, voters will start drooping off.

  • Jeb Bush Plans Family Reunion (and Campaigning) in South Carolina

    02/03/2016 5:51:00 PM PST · 12 of 18
    Oatka to jimbo123
    A great political cartoon by Mike Ramirez:

  • Oregon Standoff – Agenda 21 and the BLM Uranium and Gold Deal

    02/03/2016 5:27:49 PM PST · 27 of 27
    Oatka to freedomjusticeruleoflaw

    When I go to farmwars.com, I get this screen:

    Web & Mobile
    Creative & Design
    Business Names
    Marketing Names

    Home / Creative Food & Drink Names / FarmWars.com
    This Domain is For Sale


    Try farmwars.info

  • Wisconsin firm terminates Muslim workers in prayer dispute

    02/03/2016 2:44:19 PM PST · 31 of 42
    Oatka to PROCON
    But the muzzies want special privileges in the form of more paid break time to pray, I guess because they feel superior.

    I read that at one workplace, they wanted a seperate microwave because the infidels cooked pork products in the one the company provided.

    They didn't get it.

  • Jeb Bush Has to Tell New Hampshire Crowd ‘Please Clap’

    02/03/2016 2:40:21 PM PST · 36 of 40
    Oatka to Hojczyk
    Gotta love Ramirez - a great political cartoonist.

  • Trump Nominated for Nobel Prize!

    02/03/2016 2:29:29 PM PST · 14 of 17
    Oatka to ShivaFan
    Merkel is nominated as well. From the Schnitzel Report:

    "A couple of years ago, I spent a number of hours previewing the Nobel Peace Prize committee and their resumes.

    It's a group of five intellectuals, with hefty degree backgrounds and a thinker's club.

    These are people who mostly associate with.....other intellectuals. Their hobbies are typically opera, music, tragic Greek stories, great literature, fine food, wine, travels to historic sites, and cinema (note, you can't use the word movies around an intellectual....cinema is the preferred word).

    These aren't the kind of folks that you'd go and ask for lawn advice, suggestions on pumpkin pie, guidance on best routes between city A and city B, recommendations on urban infrastructure, proposals for tax hikes, tips on urban crime, or persuasion for immigration reform."

    A dhimmi vs a Capitalist. Guess who will get it?

  • Michigan Judge Pulls No Punches in 30-Minute Sentencing Tirade Against Police Officer

    02/03/2016 2:19:04 PM PST · 11 of 22
    Oatka to colorado tanker
    Good luck in prison, a-hole.

    I suspect it will be greatly enlarged by time he gets out.

  • It's Over for Mrs. Clinton

    02/02/2016 6:27:18 PM PST · 148 of 165
    Oatka to NavVet
    The odds could have been .017 percent and she still would have won those coin tosses because she needed to. Although if Bernie is dumb enough to fall for the old, "Head I win, Tails you Lose." trick six times in a row, maybe he deserves to have the election stolen.

    They used a coin like this - "Heads I win":

  • DC bill would pay people stipends not to commit crimes

    02/02/2016 2:58:46 PM PST · 47 of 51
    Oatka to I want the USA back
    Think this kind of thing will work with muzziyes?

    It's called Jizya , paid by the dhimmis .

    Hopefully, by time our Imam-in-Chief is out of office, we won't look in the mirror and see one.

  • The Epic History of Military Style

    02/02/2016 2:47:15 PM PST · 10 of 16
    Oatka to chajin
    About 25 years ago I was invited to a CSA re-enactment wedding as the chaplain.

    We were married in 1961 at the old Liberty Chapel on board the base at Ft. Lee, Va. during the North-South Skirmish there. Very cool as my brother was a Confederate (3rd South Carolina) and I was a Yankee (9th New York, Hawkin's Zouaves). The press made a big deal over the "brother-against-brother" thingy.

    A nice touch was a an exit under an ad hoc arched sabers by the 2nd New Jersey cavalry. Every body wore wool, but this was in May, so the temps weren't too bad.

    The wedding reception was held in a 60-man army tent and I was a bit embarrassed at the humble surroundings. The next morning, a couple of the guys said it was the best one they ever attended - when they got blitzed, they "could easily crawl back to my tent."

  • Clinton campaigns with Giffords, focuses on gun control(dumb and dumber)

    01/31/2016 6:30:11 PM PST · 18 of 18
    Oatka to rktman
    She doesn't have a clue any more. Only head bobs directed by the puppet master, Mr. Potato Head.

  • Iowa Official Criticizes Cruz Campaign Over Mailer

    01/30/2016 6:16:42 PM PST · 45 of 63
    Oatka to McGruff

    I wouldn't have been surprised if this had come from bull-in-the-china-shop Trump, but Cruz?

    Man, I would have been pist at this effrontery, no matter who it came from - and would have killed my vote for him.

    We're Americans, dammit, and NOBODY is going to be browbeaten like this.

  • Student who is police officer made to leave class because he had gun

    01/30/2016 5:58:08 PM PST · 39 of 72
    Oatka to Las Vegas Ron
    than by gun violence.
    No such thing, please do not use the language of the leftist.
    Not criticizing, just reminding as it is an easy habit to pick up.

    Indeed. This is how they control the dialogue. Next time you talk with friends, especially gun owners, do the word association thingy.

    Ask them what's the first word that pops into their mind when you mention "gun" or "violence". The Media has paired those two so often that I expect at least a 90% rate of people tying them together.

    Pavlov's dog lives.

  • Campaigns lower expectations in Iowa, brace for Trump win

    01/30/2016 3:08:04 PM PST · 36 of 36
    Oatka to Helicondelta
    "They are bracing for a Donald Trump win in Iowa and planning for the aftermath"
    The aftermath will just be more Trump wins.

    That was my first thought. Think Hiroshima post-bomb, mainly because Cruz was in the lead and the predicted winner earlier in the game. Then we have the "bandwagon effect" by those mindless ones who follow the crowd, and some in the media, as well as here, will claim it is all over.

    IMO, it WOULD be over, unless Trump self-destructs with his infantile name-calling. At least though, we would be spared the "Jebs Back!", "Rubio's my man!" or other breathless news releases. It would be much tougher for Cruz to make any headway, even if the others' supporters flock to him.

    Monday is gonna be interesting.

  • Oakland’s Minimum Wage Is Up, Wal-Mart Is Out

    01/30/2016 10:16:32 AM PST · 51 of 65
    Oatka to redreno
    Maybe Wal-Mart is losing profits in stores located in poor neighborhoods isn’t because of an increase in the minimum wage, but because those making the current minimum wage can’t afford to shop at Wal-Mart

    Or perhaps the clerks were letting their buddies through the checkouts, ringing up every other item.

  • Oakland’s Minimum Wage Is Up, Wal-Mart Is Out

    01/30/2016 10:14:26 AM PST · 50 of 65
    Oatka to nascarnation
    A few years ago (at least at my location) WM re-assigned the elderly "greeters" to regular work assigments in the store.

    They did that when I worked as a night stocker there, with the same result. One night some deputies came in saying they had stopped a couple of perps for some unrelated offense and found two boxed 55" flat screens in the rear seat. The perps said they just got them at WalMart and they were right - except they had no receipts.

    Now I notice they are back at the doors. Even MBAs figure it out eventually.
    They wised up here (NV) as well, and I see old friends back on station again.

  • Fox News: Contacts in the FBI and DOJ are 'Super Pissed Off' at the White House

    01/30/2016 9:56:22 AM PST · 23 of 55
    Oatka to Glad2bnuts
    The DOJ and FBI is getting ready to give Hillary the glaring of a lifetime. She had better be ready, they are dead serious this time. Maybe even a little fist shaking will be involved.

    Worse yet - she may be taunted a second time.

  • 200 Swedes Storm Occupied Stockholm Train Station, Beat Migrant Children

    01/30/2016 9:54:08 AM PST · 25 of 58
    Oatka to dfwgator
    BS, they didn't beat up children, they mostly handed out some leaflets.

    What the leaflet said:

    All over the country, reports are pouring in that the police can no longer cope with preventing and investigating the crimes which strike the Swedish people.'

    'In some cases, for example, in the latest murder of a woman employed at a home for so called 'unaccompanied minor refugees' in Molndal, it goes as far as the National Police Commissioner choosing to show more sympathy for the perpetrator than the victim,' it continues.

    'But we refuse to accept the repeated assaults and harrassment against Swedish women.'

    'We refuse to accept the destruction of our once to safe society. When our political leadership and police show more sympathy for murderers than for their victims, there are no longer any excuses to let it happen without protest.'

    'When Swedish streets are no longer safe to walk on for normal Swedes, it is our DUTY to fix the problem,' the leaflet reads.

    'This is why, today, 200 Swedish men gathered to take a stand against the north African 'street children' who are running rampage in and around the capital's central station.'

    'Police have clearly showed that they lack the means to stop their progress and we se no other way than to hand down the punishment they deserve ourselves.'

    'The justice system has walked out and the contract of society is therefore broken - it is now every Swedish man's duty to defend out public spaced against the imported criminality.'

    'Those who gathered today are neither your politician, your journalist or your policeman. We are your father, your brother, your husband, your colleague, your friend and your neighbour.

    - 30 -

  • FBI weapons stolen from vehicle in latest Bay Area incident

    01/30/2016 9:31:31 AM PST · 30 of 36
    Oatka to BenLurkin
  • Fed-Up Swedes Give An Affluent Swedish Community A Taste Of ‘Muslim Multiculturalism’

    01/30/2016 8:00:45 AM PST · 95 of 108
    Oatka to The Toll
    Uh. Not that I care, but these guys are NOT, I repeat NOT ordinary Swedes. These are Nazis that have been promoting this video on Nazi sites for over a year.

    We'll see more of these groups appear as the political elites continue committing National Suicide. I'll give it a year before the armbands and brown shirts come out in force.

  • Robber’s Famous Last Words: ‘I Thought You Couldn’t Own A Gun In New Jersey’

    01/28/2016 7:40:15 PM PST · 33 of 34
    Oatka to LydiaLong
    He thought wrong.

    As the guardian said:

  • Cologne sex attacks: 'Safe zone' for women planned ahead of city's carnival

    01/28/2016 7:34:24 PM PST · 39 of 41
    Oatka to Vic S
    And the liberals want each woman to wear a an identifying wristband with GPS so they can track their whereabouts.

    And/or help find their bodies.

  • Breitbart News Nominated for ‘Islamophobe of the Year’ News Site

    01/27/2016 9:23:10 AM PST · 26 of 28
    Oatka to C19fan
    I'm surprised that Pamela Geller didn't make the "A-List".

    A few recent items:
    WATCH: French Cops Run From Migrants Screaming: 'We Are Muslim, We Want To Go To UK!'
    Cologne: German women give roses to rapists
    Italy covers up naked statues, bans wine for visit of Iranian President Rouhani

    ad nauseum

  • Poll: Sanders Edges Clinton in Iowa

    01/27/2016 9:05:46 AM PST · 7 of 10
    Oatka to TornadoAlley3
    It is going to be 1968 for the Dems at convention.

    An eyewitness report:

  • Free Republic Caucus 2016 01/24

    01/24/2016 2:20:34 PM PST · 296 of 373
    Oatka to DoughtyOne

    Vote Trump

  • X-Files Returns Tonight

    01/24/2016 11:00:32 AM PST · 36 of 91
    Oatka to BenLurkin
    Boyle's episode and "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' " - the two best.

    THE best: "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' ".

    Fantastic dialogue:

    Blaine: [about Scully and Mulder] One of them was disguised as a woman, but wasn't pulling it off. Like, her hair was red, but it was a little too red, y'know? And the other one, the tall, lanky one, his face was so blank and expressionless. He didn't even seem human. I think he was a mandroid.

    Jose Chung: Aren't you nervous telling me all this? After receiving all those death threats?
    Blaine: Well, hey, I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.

    Jose Chung: Seeking the truth about aliens means a perfunctory 9 to 5 job to some - for although Agent Diana Leski [Scully reading the final book "From Outer Space"] . . . is noble of spirit and pure of heart - she remains nevertheless - a Federal employee. As for her partner - Ranerdt Muldradt - a ticking time bomb of insanity - his quest into the unknown has so warped his psyche - one shudders to think how he receives any pleasures from life.

  • Spam warning label-not for muslims

    01/23/2016 5:09:23 PM PST · 57 of 62
    Oatka to Califreak

    Spam Haiku

    Blue can of steel
    what promise do you hold?
    salt flesh so ripe

    Can of metal, slick
    soft center, so cool, moistening
    I yearn for your salt

    my friend pork shoulder
    I return to you. this time
    i’ve brought mayonnaise

    above all others
    porcine treat without equal
    there is but one Spam

    and who dares mock Spam?
    you? you? you are not worthy
    of one rich pink fleck

    The color of Spam
    is natural as the sky:
    A block of sunrise

    Little slab of meat
    In a wash of clear jelly
    Now I heat the pan

    Oh tin of pink meat
    I ponder what you may be:
    Snout or ear or feet?

    In the cool morning
    I fry up a slab of Spam
    A dog barks next door

    Pink tender morsel
    Glistening with salty gel
    What the hell is it?

    Ears, snouts, and innards,
    A homogenous mass
    Pass another slice

    Old man seeks doctor
    “I eat Spam daily”, he says.

    Highly unnatural
    The tortured shape of this “food”
    A small pink coffin

    Slicing your sweet self
    Salivating in suspense
    Sizzle, sizzle..Spam

  • Senate Bill Seeks To Outlaw Gun Shows [OK]

    01/23/2016 11:13:59 AM PST · 36 of 39
    Oatka to aragorn
  • Michael Bloomberg eyes presidential run

    01/23/2016 10:05:21 AM PST · 58 of 68
    Oatka to miss marmelstein
    This creep is the Joe Btfsplk of the political world.

    For the younger, post Al Capp generation:

  • Michael Bloomberg eyes presidential run

    01/23/2016 9:59:22 AM PST · 56 of 68
    Oatka to Nervous Tick
    He’ll pull ‘rat votes and blue states.
    Go for it, mikey.

    My well wishes also - he sure won't pull any from the Trump/Cruz camp. :-)

  • REPORT: Locals Fled Pool After Migrants Masturbated Into Jacuzzi, Defecated . . .

    01/22/2016 7:07:55 PM PST · 79 of 87
    Oatka to Maceman
    A group of migrant men and women were caught on security camera at the Johannisbad baths in Zwickau, Saxony engaging in unacceptable behaviour, including masturbating into the jacuzzi.

    A pity someone didn't turn on a heat lamp and then "accidentally" drop it into the pool.

  • The Old Guard Stands stands guard at Tomb of Unknowns during historic snowstorm

    01/22/2016 3:51:44 PM PST · 12 of 27
    Oatka to COBOL2Java
    Neither rain, nor snow, nor . . .

  • Surge In New Gun Sales Has FBI Background Check System Overwhelmed(WHAT?)

    01/22/2016 9:12:02 AM PST · 16 of 18
    Oatka to Yo-Yo
    One of the fears of a "universal background check" is that such a law would require a "proceed" before a transaction can be completed

    A bigger one is that it is creating a National Gun Registration list via the back door of 4473s.

    Yes, they don't go to the government until he quits, but evidently the BATF can't wait that long as some of the gun websites have dealers reporting that when the BATF comes to visit, they photocopy their entire book of 4473s.

    Those who push the Universal BC claim it is just to keep the nutcases and criminals from buying a gun. If that is so, when I buy a handgun and a rifle, I only have to pass ONE BC, but still have to fill out TWO 4473s, which, among 20-odd personal questions, also requires the make, model, type, caliber and serial number.

    Every time I ask that question of those in favor of the BC, I only hear crickets - or at best - "Gee, I didn't know that."

    Spread the word.


    01/22/2016 8:54:30 AM PST · 37 of 56
    Oatka to Lucky9teen

    Rural Wisdom

    1) Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you can climb, but how well you bounce.
    2) Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.
    3) The trouble with a milk cow is that she won’t stay milked.
    4) Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
    5) Don’t skinny dip where there are snapping turtles.
    6) Words that soak into your head are whispered, not yelled.
    7) Meanness doesn’t happen overnight.
    8) Moms and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
    9) Don’t sell you mule to buy a plow.
    10) Two can live as cheap as one - if one don’t eat.
    11) Don’t corner something meaner than you.
    12) It doesn’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
    13) Every path has some puddles.

    (5) and 11) are my favorites.)

    Then we have God’s email:

    God was looking down at Earth and saw all the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check things out.

    When that angel returned, he told God, “Yes, it’s bad down there; 95% are misbehaving, the other 5% are not.”

    God thought for a moment and said, “Maybe I’d better get a second opinion.”

    When that angel reported, “Yes, it’s true - 95% are sinful and only 5% are being good.. The Earth is going to Hell in a handbasket.”

    God was not pleased. He decided to email the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them to stay the course and give them a little something to help them along.

    Do you know what the email said?

    Just wondering, I didn’t get one either.

  • Who was Wilbur Scoville? The science behind what makes chillies so hot

    01/22/2016 8:25:13 AM PST · 20 of 27
    Oatka to beaversmom
    This stuff needs a HazMat symbol, but da-yum, it IS good.

    (At some big grocers or online from Wal-Mart.)