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DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! ALL QUIET ON THE ANDYITE FRONT YESTERDAY! NOTHING HAPPENED! REALLY PECULIAR! WORLD STILL AWAITS ANSWERS TO 3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS! AFTER 54 DAYS, NO ANSWERS!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! ANDYITES IN DUMMIELAND PERFORM A BALLET DES MACABRES! ANDYITES IN MALLOY DO A DANS TRES GROTESQUE! ABSENCE OF FRANKSOLICH NEVER NOTICED!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! ANDYITES SHOWING DESPERATION! STILL NOT ANSWERING 3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS! THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ANSWERED 51 DAYS AGO! DEBACLE ON MALLOY CONTINUES, AS ANDYITES CONTINUE UNRAVELING!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! INTIMIDATION TACTICS OF ANDYITES BETRAYED! QUESTIONING "ANDROID" SUDDENLY CONVERTED INTO HARD-CORE "ANDYNOID"! BULLYING TACTICS USED BY ANDYITES TO SUPPRESS TRUTH! http://smirkingchimp.com/viewtopic.php?topic=56940&forum=3

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! DEBACLE STILL ONGOING! AFTER SEVERAL HOURS, ANDYITES STILL HAVE NOT ANSWERED 3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS! THIS SIDE: COOL, CALM, AND DIRECT! THAT SIDE: EMOTIONAL, UPSET, AND NAME-CALLING! AVOIDING 3 SIMPLE EASY-TO-ANSWER QUESTIONS!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! VICTIM OF ANDYITES IN DUMMIELAND EXPOSES AN ANDYITE! THE GUMSHOE GUMMED! AND SHOED!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! LIBERALS, LEFTISTS, PROGRESSIVES, DEMOCRATS, DEMAND JUSTICE! FORMAL REPORT ISSUED!

DUMMIE ALERT! DUMMIE ALERT! THE RED ONE A REAL ESTATE MOGUL! FREELY ADMITS TO IT!

A 40-year-old Oslo man faced a nasty surprise when he came home from a trip: Another man had broken into his rented flat and set in motion a scam to rent the flat out to others. The intruder pocketed thousands in fraudulently obtained rent deposits.It all started when Even Nyrud, who lives in Oslo's popular Majorstuen district, was the victim of a break-in that he apparently didn't even notice. Newspaper VG reported Tuesday that a 29-year-old man broke into Nyrud's flat and took photos of it.The 29-year-old then posted the photos on a web site that offers homes for sale...

Three people are dead and scores have been admitted to hospital in southern Norway after doctors confirmed an outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease over the weekend. At least 24 are confirmed to be infected, with many of them in critical condition.Health authorities, meanwhile, remained unable on Monday to pinpoint the source of the disease. Cooling towers for air conditioning systems, where the bacteria is known to appear, were being checked and disinfected, especially in the Fredrikstad-Sarpsborg area.That's where the first cases started being diagnosed late last week. Health officials in Fredrikstad, just north of the Swedish border, feared an epidemic like...

The red-green (Labor, Socialist Left and Center parties) alliance met its first signs of adversity as it fell 8.6 percent points on a new political survey.The poll carried out by Intéra ResearchLab for newspaper Vårt Land was a marked contrast to a series of earlier studies that indicated uniform majority support for an alternative to the current center-right (Conservative, Christian Democrat and Liberal parties) coalition government led by Kjell Magne Bondevik.The Socialist Left Party were the big losers on the new poll, falling back 6.5 percent points, down to 14 percent. Labor retreated 1.1 percent points to 28.8 percent and...

Cleaners were astonished to find that thieves had made off with a handicapped toilet at a rest stop in Valle in Aust-Agder County over the weekend."They must have had a disgusting job," Helge Homme, a cleaner from road service firm Mesta told newspaper Fædrelandsvennen.A stinking hole in the floor has been exposed by the removal of the handicapped facility at the Honnevje rest stop."A very special theft," said Mesta manager Trond Heia. He has never heard of a complete stainless steel toilet being stolen from a Public Roads Administration (PRA) stop before. There is no question of vandalism, the fitting...

A German web site that auctions off jobs to the lowest bidder looks set to establish itself in Norway. Those wanting work can underbid each other to win available jobs.The controversial "job auction" service started in Germany last autumn. So far, it's arranged around 1,500 jobs by matching employers with the lowest-bidding workers.The German web site, www.jobdumping.de, now plans to open a division in Sweden, with will also operate sites for the Norwegian and Finnish job markets.Founder Fabian Loew says the concept is simple. "If you have a job to offer, you put it out on the site with a...

Hamar is a city of circa 27,000, about 800 miles south of Gamvik and Berlevag (way up there between Hammerfest and Vardo, in case anyone is interested), or about 90 miles directly north of the capital of Norway, Oslo.I do not mean to be offensive, but of all the places I have (thus far) seen of Norway, Hamar seems a rather bleak, sterile, soulless place; it reminds me very much of the "artists' city" of Santa Fe, New Mexico--an "arty" place for the Birkenstock and Ben & Jerry's ice cream crowd.....and little else.Which is a pity, because Hamar actually has...

Oslo, Norway--More cellphones are ringing in Norway than there are people to answer them, as subscriptions soar, officials figures showed on Monday.And the Norwegians are not the only cellphone enthusiasts.On the same day, Lithuania also reported that the number of cellphone subscribers surpassed the population of the Baltic country.In Norway, which boasts one of the world's highest mobile penetration rates, there were 4,7-million registered cellphone subscriptions in 2004, indicating that 102% of the country's population has become portable, the Norwegian Post and Telecommunications Authority said in its annual report.The large number of cellphone subscriptions has taken its toll on fixed...

Reindeer herders in the north of Sweden are considering releasing their flocks over the border to graze in Norway. At issue is a conflict over grazing regulations in the border area.The pending move by the native Swedish sami [Fred: Suomi, please] people is expected to spur protests from their counterparts on the Norwegian side of the border."We won't get into fist fights, that's a bit too primitive," says Per Gunnar Harnesk of Sirges, the largest sami [Fred: Suomi] town along the Swedish border with Norway."But we're prepared for a number of conflicts and police reports," Harnesk told newspaper Dagens Nyheter.According...

Bergen is just too much for a single "tour," and so this particular "tour of Norway" covers only Bergenex urbia, Bergen outside of the city itself.Bergen has 277,000 people, and is the second-largest city in Norway. The principal industries are petroleum, fishing, shipping, and predictably, furniture-making.But that is inside the city, not outside. As one can see from the map below, Bergen is in the "Deep South" of Norway, the tropical region. (In case one is interested, Berlevag and Gamvik are clear up at the very top of the red, on the map--in case anyone is interested.) Some mountains near...

Okay, before going on to describe Berlevag, the Crown Jewel of Norway, I must comment that this particular town, Berlevag, has the most-excellent web-site of all the Norwegian web-sites I have "visited."One pulls up the first page, and there it is, all of it, everything one needs, without any bells, whistles, and flashing lights. No gimmicks, just straightforward information.Berlevag, population 1,200, is too small to be on many maps, but anyway, it is near the center of the circle below, a little bit to the north and the east of Gamvik, which is another town smack in the center of...

Grimstad is a city of 18,000 located south of Oslo, east of Kristiansand, on the map below. Grimstad manufactures a great deal of, not surprisingly, furniture. This is the only photograph I can find that I can GUARANTEE is of the small village of Ada, near Grimstad. If one looks very closely, he can see a couple of houses. Grimstad from the sea. Grimstad from the docks. Boats in Grimstad. City center, Grimstad. Either a hospital, or a school, in Grimstad. You know, no matter where one is--in Nebraska, in Pennsylvania, in Ukraine, in Italy, in Norway--all elementary schools look...

This "tour of Norway" describes the city of Kristiansand, which with about 75,000 people, rates as one of the major--in the top ten--cities of Norway.The population- and land-density statistics say Norway is underpopulated, vast, and empty, but in my "U-2 flights" across the country, examining every square inch of our gallant allies in the war against terror, it seems to me (a Nebraskan) that Norway below Narvik, way up north, is crowded; too many people.If I were to go to Norway, I would immediately high-tail it up to Narvik, so as to get some breathing-room. Kristiansand is a relatively new...

Harstad, a town of circa 25,000 people--and hence a major city in underpopulated Norway--is located almost 200 miles north of the Arctic Circle, or on the globe, about equivalent to the uppermost third of Alaska.Harstad is the first city in Norway that I have encountered, on the internet, that does not claim to be the "furniture-making capital of the world."In fact, there is no mention of furniture at all; it appears the principal occupations of Harstad are fishing and the Norwegian army.....and the hotel business. Harstad has a great many hotels. Approaching Harstad by sea: The harbor at Harstad: A...

A 37-year-old petty criminal has received a six-month sentence after pulling off the masterstroke of breaking into the city prison.The six-month sentence was handed down for a series of offenses, newspaper Romsdals Budstikke reports.The prison is 160 years old, and has seen several jailbreaks, but this is the first time anyone has broken in.The invasion took place on December 2 last year. The convicted man smashed a window and padlock to gain access to a cellar door. Inside the prison courtyard he smashed another window and caused damage costing NOK 18,000 (USD 2,850) to a car belonging to Criminal Care.The...

Gamvik is about the middle of the circle on the map below; several hundred miles north of the Arctic Circle, and on the globe, a couple of hundred miles north of the northernmost part of Alaska.Gamvik has circa 1,600 people, or a little less than 1 per square mile.Gamvik is not the northern-most town on continental Norway; there are a couple of villages a mile or two north, but I cannot find information on them. Gamvik from the ocean: Next to furniture-making, the main business in Gamvik is catering to tourists interested in military history; apparently the German "Atlantikwall" ended...

Erik Fallo, a central smuggler of illegal spirit, was sentenced on Wednesday to 12 years on charges of murder by poisoning after being behind shipments of moonshine lethally tainted with methanol.Fallo, 58, was charged with seven deaths by poisoning and two cases of two of grave personal injury. According to the charges Fallo sold 50,000 liters of smuggled spirit from January 2002 until the summer of 2003.Per Erik Fossum, 76, received a five-year sentence in the trial, charged with one count of murder by poisoning and one count of involuntary manslaughter under especially aggravated circumstances.Fallo had previously admitted guilt to...

You Know You're Norwegian When... You assume that a stranger on the street who smiles at or greets you is: a) drunk. b) insane. c) an American. d) All of the above. You vigorously defend whaling and enjoy consuming whale meat. You enjoy the taste of lutefisk (jelly-like, bad-smelling fish) and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues. You can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it. You don't question the habit of always preparing a "matpakke" (sandwich in paper). You have two cars, a cabin and a boat, if not more. You think there is...

Hemnes is a port city in the middle third of Norway, or about as high as the upper third of Alaska, on the globe; about 20 miles south of the Arctic Circle.I am not sure the population of Hemnes proper, but the commune, township, county, whatever, has circa 4,500 people, or a little less than 5 people per square mile. Some waterfall: Some lake: Some houses: Some more houses: Some church: Correct me if I am wrong, but the kid is fairly representational of the Suomi (Lapplanders), right?This looks like a perfect set-up for an electric train.

Twelve Norwegians from Bergen found themselves stuck on board a cruiseship this week. They'd only meant to have a quick weekend trip to Denmark, but are currently taking an involuntary tour around the North Atlantic.The Bergen residents, including one local family with children, had taken advantage of a special deal to take the vessel MS Norrøna back and forth to Hanstholm in Denmark. The vessel is owned by Smyril Line of the Færoe Islands.The vessel regularly plies the route between Bergen and Hanstholm, and then sets off from Bergen for week-long trips to the Shetland Islands, the Færoes and on...

Okay, so I am probably not doing the fine folks of Moraker, Norway, in revealing one of the best-kept secrets of Norway; a paradise, apparently, for hunters and fishermen and skiiers.Meraker is a "commune"--one assumes that is similar with our "township" or "county" here in the United States--of 2,500 people, or about 3 people per square mile. An ancient (circa 1905) photograph of Norwegian loggers near Meraker. Some mountain that dominates Meraker. If Norway joins the European Union, which forbides the Finns to defend themselves against wolves, probably these women will have to learn marksmanship somewhere else. Apparently even faraway...

It seems that Poland is doing very well in EU, much better than expected!This is a pleasant surprise since Poles were worried that the condition of Polish economy can deteriorate after joining the European Union.Even CNN reported that the Polish president, Kwasniewski praised the year in European Union as one of the best in Polish history.Poles changed their perception of EU the most positively from all the EU countries! So called Index of economical satisfaction shows that Poles are 41% more satisfied than the average Europeans.In general the members of new countries that joined the EU last year (2004) are...

Since nothing happens in Norway during the weekends, and because of popular demand--really popular demand; it boogles the mind--on weekends members of the Norway ping list have the opportunity, if they wish, to inspect some of the photographic glories of our gallant allies in the War against Terror--this week, featuring the delightful city of Alesund.All of these photographs are from the public domain, taken by amateurs, one assumes; if something is not from Alesund, anyone may please feel free to correct me.Also, some guy in Norway put together a wonderful collection of photographs of Alesund (none of which are featured...

Norway's mistrust of joining the European Union is again on the rise, and the 'no' side is again in the majority, though the undecideds could still change the result.If the issue came to another vote today, 44.5 percent would oppose membership, 42.5 would vote yes and 12.9 percent remain unsure, according to a new poll by Sentio for newspapers Klassekampen, Dagen and Nationen.Every region of the nation opposes the union with the exception of the capital district of Oslo and Akershus.In northern Norway the no side leads 46-38, with central Norway even more opposed at 54-38. The southern coast is...

Gunnulf Oterkiil tried to revive a young woman who fainted and lost consciousness after striking her head on the pavement. Later he received a NOK 6,000 (USD 955) fine.Oterkiil refuses to accept the fine that resulted from a chaotic Saturday night in Porsgrunn last September, newspaper Telemarksavisa reports."He is not fined for trying to help, but because he knocked down a man who was interfering," prosecutor and police lawyer Kjell Ove Ljosåk said in Skien and Porsgrunn municipal court on Wednesday, where the matter went after Oterkiil refused to pay."Together with a completely sober friend I was standing on the...

Norway's reveling high school graduates, the "russ", tend to concentrate on extreme partying but groups from rival schools in Romerike, a region just outside of Oslo, have loaded up with groceries and launched hostilities.According to newspaper Romerikes Blad, over 700 russ have pelted each other with eggs, yogurt, milk and flour, and gas stations and the homes of parents have become makeshift battlefields.Three 'russebil', buses and vans converted into blaring parties on wheels, from Lørenskog High School covered the russ vehicles from two rival schools with eggs, and the desire for revenge led to a frenzy of vandalism and paintball...

Woman convicted of rapeIn a landmark case a 23-year-old woman has been convicted by a Bergen court for the rape of a 31-year-old man.The woman was sentenced to nine months in prison and ordered to pay NOK 40,000 (USD 6,385) to the man.The incident occurred on Jan. 4 last year in a Bergen apartment. The man testified that he fell asleep on a sofa and woke up to find the woman performing oral sex on him.The woman eventually admitted sexual contact but claimed that it was voluntary and that the man was willing and smiled. The case has attracted attention...

PIKESVILLE, Md. - A herd of buffalo somehow got loose and wandered around an upscale neighborhood Tuesday, disrupting traffic and alarming homeowners before officers managed to corral them in a tennis court. More than a dozen police cars and a police helicopter were used to herd the roughly 10 beasts, authorities said. "Somehow they figured it out; I've got to give a lot of credit to the creativity of our officers," police spokesman Shawn Vinson said. Authorities have identified the owner of the buffalo but did not release the person's name immediately. Residents in the Baltimore suburb first reported that...

Fewer asylum seekers to NorwayThe number of asylum seekers arriving in Norway has so far this year been reduced by 50 per cent.The Immigration Directorate has therefore decided to close down 15-20 reception centers by the end of June.Further cuts will be considered. There are now 99 reception centers in Norway.Last year a little more than 7,900 persons applied for asylum in Norway. This was also a reduction by 50 per cent from the year before, and around 40 reception centers were closed down.

Politician shot in own restaurantA politician who represents the Conservatives on a district council in Oslo was shot in a restaurant he runs early Tuesday. He claims his family has been the victim of extortion."The motive was money," Ghazanfar Ali Khan told Aftenposten's web site. "They wanted me to pay."Khan is one of two representatives for the Conservative Party (Høyre) on the Stovner district council. He also runs a restaurant, To Kokker Mat og Vinhus, on Brugata in Oslo.He said he was closing up his restaurant about 3:40am when someone started shooting at the entrance. At least eight bullets hit...

New royal heir on the wayStaff at Norway's Royal Palace announced Monday that Crown Princess Mette-Marit is pregnant with a new royal heir. The child will be third in line to take over as reigning monarch.Crown Princess Mette-Marit has bowed out of several events during recent weeks, claiming illness, just as the royal program has been in one of its busiest phases ever.[Fred: because of the Norway centennial celebrations this year; Norway became independent of Sweden in 1905]That's left Crown Prince Haakon and his mother, Queen Sonja, handling the brunt of the royal duties as King Harald recovers from heart...

Dishonest employees aboundNorwegians are regularly fired for theft, embezzlement, harassing colleagues, getting high on the job, taking too much vacation time or just disappearing, newspaper Dagsavisen reports.The City of Oslo alone had about 100 dismissals of this type in a year according to city financial adviser André Støylen."The most common reason for dismissal is that people don't come to work or vanish for longer periods. We also see employees that come from abroad return home without giving any notification," Støylen told Dagsavisen. Støylen does not believe that the City of Oslo has an unusual situation with its employee problems."Many Norwegian...

Christian Democrats want Bush campaignChristian Democrat MP Anita Apelthun Sæle wants enemies. She believes her party needs to take a page from the book of Bush election strategist Karl Rove and start getting tough in order to win back voters."We must make some enemies. Only then can we get more friends," Sæle told left-wing newspaper Klassekampen. The Christian Democrats have declined in popularity and are about 5-6 percent points below their 2001 election result and have their lowest voter loyalty figures ever."We have tried for too broad a profile and have a lot to correct for our core voters. This...

Woman charged with raping manA 23-year-old woman has changed her story after biological evidence on a man's underpants and penis demonstrated their physical contact. The woman no longer denies laying a finger on him but insists she has committed no crime.The 23-year-old woman told Bergen municipal court that she didn't force sexual contact on the man while he was asleep, newspaper VG reports."He wasn't asleep, he was awake the whole time and he gave me a smile," the woman told the court.The incident allegedly occurred in the apartment of the woman's current partner. He was present at the time but...

OSLO (AFP) - Norway's whaling season began with hunters allowed by the government to kill up to 797 of the mammals this year, the highest quota set by the government in more than a decade in defiance of repeated international criticism.Thirty-one boats were expected to participate in this year's hunt, Fishing industry publication Fiskeribladet reported on its website.The government announced last December that it would increase the catch quota to 797 this year from 670 last year, even though whalers failed to meet that target, mainly due to backlogs at processing factories on land.This is the largest quota allowed since...

Swedes tightest touristsForeign visitors come less often to Norway and spend less money than before. Japanese and US tourists are the most free with their money, and neighboring Swedes keep the tightest reins on their purse strings.Norway's tourism industry is gearing up for the summer trade and rolling out their souvenir trolls, but despite years of discussion about how to brand and market the country's charms, nothing seems to be working."In fact, there have been fewer tourists. And they have not spent more money since 1995. Development is at a standstill," said Arne Rideng at the Institute of Transport Economy,...

"Svorsk" baby boomWhile Norway may be experiencing a swell of national pride and heightened rivalry in the centennial year of independence from Sweden, the citizenry have warmer feelings that ever.The number of children born to Swedish-Norwegian (svensk-norsk or "svorsk") couples has risen 128 percent from 1990 to 2004, according to figures Statistics Norway (SSB) has prepared for newspaper VG.At the beginning of 2005 there were 24,648 persons in Norway who were the result of a union between a Norwegian and a Swede, and 12,369 of these were under the age of 18.In 1990 the comparable figures were 10,794 and 7,201....

Norwegians run amok in SwedenWhile debate rages over links between crime and foreigners in Norway, Swedish police are dealing with a sharp rise in troublesome foreigners of their own: Norwegians accounted for half of all criminal convictions in the border town of Stromstad so far this year.Stromstad is a popular destination for Norwegians shopping for items that are much cheaper in Sweden than in Norway, because of Sweden's lower taxes.Among those items are wine, beer and liquor, which many Norwegians apparently drink on the spot and then cause trouble. Swedish police report that most of the crimes committed by Norwegians...

Swedes seem to envy Norwegians' good fortuneSome Swedes apparently would rather restore a union with Norway than continue in the one they currently have with Europe. Fresh figures outlining the average wealth of Norwegians seem to have left many across the border green with envy."Let's take the horse and wagon and move to Norway!" wrote one Swede to the web site for Swedish business newspaper Dagens Industri."Doing away with our union (between Sweden and Norway) in 1905 was Sweden's biggest mistake ever," wrote another.The occasion was a reader debate over figures recently released by Norway's Central Bureau of Statistics, and...

Killed, froze and shot lynxA man stands accused of violating hunting and animal preservation laws after he allegedly killed one with a knife, froze hit and then shot the corpse in a forest during hunting season.The lynx was likely taken before the hunting season began in Enebakk, in Akershus County. Authorities then believe the man transported the dead animal south to neighboring Østfold County, where the quota of lynx was not yet taken, NRK (Norwegian Broadcasting) reports.But when the predator administrator checked the animal, he suspected foul play."The man was a bit unwilling to display the animal. After a bit...

Finland wants wolf huntFinland has appealed to the European Union for permission to kill wolves that cause problems for their human population.A Finnish delegation lead by EU parliamentarian Henrix Lax asked the EU's environment commissioner Stavros Dimas for the right to shoot wolves and presented a petition signed by 21,000 Finns, newspaper Dagsavisen reports.The EU Commission ruled in January that Finland would stand trial for their wolf hunt.Lax said that it was incomprehensible that Finland's EU membership meant that citizens had to live in fear of wolves," Finnish Broadcasting YLE reported.

Dog-owner sued for moose damageA wild moose caused NOK 50,000 (USD 7,900) worth of damage to a swimming pool, and in a possible legal first, a dog-owner is being sued for responsibility.The bizarre episode occurred during a moose hunt in Bamble, Telemark, southwest of Oslo in mid-October 2003, NRK (Norwegian Broadcasting) reports.A group of hunters and their moose hound Nancy had chased a female moose and her calf but the party was not licensed to kill these animals and tried to set them free.Unfortunately, Nancy would not give up the scent and her owner failed to get control over the...

Crocodile seized in OsloPolice captured a crocodile in the capital on Monday. The young Nile crocodile was over a meter (39.3 inches) long and was being kept in violation of exotic animal regulations.Norway's Food Safety Authority and police went into action in Ulven and confiscated the animal, which they said behaved "aggressively" during the "arrest".Preliminary checks indicate that the apprehended reptile is a Nile crocodile, which can grow up to five meters (16.5 feet) in length. The owner of the apartment where the croc was living has been charged with illegally keeping exotic animals."This is definitely a lively specimen with...