ok, folks. I have started it. You all pick it up - the Free Republic Anti-Osama Songwriting Contest!


God said to Uncle Sam, "Kill me Osam'"
Uncle Sam said, "Man, you must be puttin' me on!"
God said, "No." Sam said, "What?"
God said, "You can do what you want, Sam but
next time you see Me comin', you better run!"
And Uncle Sam said, "Where you want this killin' done?"
God said, "Out on Highway 61"

(with apologies to Bob Dylan)...

Hey Mr. Taliban, tally up Osama,
Big bombs come, and we lose our home.
Af-ghana-stan gonna turn to dust.
Camels can't hide and we lose our homes.

Hey-YO! Hey-ey-ey-YO!
America mad and we lose our homes.

six ton, eight ton, ten ton BOMBS!
US planes come and we lose our home.

etc.

prisoner6

TEXT OF JESSE JACKSON'S LETTER TO OSAMA BIN LADEN :

On a day like today

I'll pass my time away

Writing love letter in the grandstand

Bro, I promised you

I'd always be true

Now I'm hoping that vow

Means something, somehow

Bin, my poor heart will ache

If you don't give me a break

PLEEZE read my love letters from the grandstand.

(signed) JESSE ALLAH JACKSON

Leni

There's an old song I think Oh Susy I think made famous by Eddie Cantor

oh Sama, oh sama, how you can hide.

You sama, yes sama, how you have spied.

That's about all I can do. Perhaps some one else who knows the original could pick it up.

Good 'uns, you two!!

Ban-go! Bay-ayn-go!
Daylight come, they go blown to Kingdom Come!

Tal-ly me, Taliban
the Taliban bananas!
Daylight come, they go blown to Kingdom Come!

Tal-ly me, Taliban
we bomb upon Osama
Daylight come, they go blown to Kingdom Come!

well, if'n you're a gonna-do "The Talibanana Boat Song..."

HERE'S MY ENTRIES:

OH DONNA

SAN FRANCISCO

YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE

After singer, you might want to visit bin Laden's Liquor store for a little fun:

bin Laden's Liquor Store

singer=singing

They asked me how I knew

Osama's days are through

I, of course, replied

"Something here inside

Cannot be denied"

Bin Laden, you will find

All who hate are blind

When you vaporize

You will realize

Smoke gets in your eyes!

Now you may laugh, deride

But we won't be denied

And I will say "SURPRISE!

When a lovely nuke flies

And smoke gets in your eyes!

Leni

Sing to tune of "Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda, Here I am at Camp Grenada...". I am including the elipses for timing.

Hello Mudda... Hello Fadda,
Here I am at... Camp Osama,
We are here to... bring him tidings,
If we can figure out just where he's hiding.

We've got tankers... we've got funnels,
To pour napalm... down his tunnels,
We'll ignite them... while they're dreaming,
Then launch missles that can home in on their screaming.

You remember... Saddam Hussein?
When on Kuwait... he laid his claim,
We came over... kicked his a$$,
Now we're gonna' turn Afghanistan into glass.

Didn't ask for... this dumb war,
Since we're in it... run up the score,
To the victor... go the spoils,
So let's win it then keep all of their oil!

I didn't write it, found it somewhere -- thought it was good. Apologies to the author, whoever he is.

ROTFLMAO! Bumpity BUMP!

Sung to "My Sharona"

Hey you crazy Saudi dude, that was rude
When you gonna stop the jihad, osama
It really is a mystery, how you think
Is it all a game in your mind, osama
Never gonna stop, til we get, all the terrorists
W is pissed, and it looks, like a major tryst
Bye bye bye bye bye bye whew!!
g-g-goodbye osama
g-g-goodbye osama...

I've been trying to come up with one to the tune of "The Candy Man," called "The Taliban," but it's just no good.

To the tune of that Burton Lane classic, "How About You."

I like New York, you creep.
Osama, you're dead.

So don't you go to sleep
We're hunting your head.

I'd love to see you close, on an infrared.
'Cause when you're caught like that
One trigger squeeze and, splat,
Osama, you're dead.

I've got bad news for you
Osama you swell...

Those virgins you expect
Won't find you in hell

Holding tight to my M-16
With a full magazine
Isn't unique
But it sure will kill all you freaks.

And here's a little tribute to the refugees, to the tune of that Depression era classic "The Sunny Side of The Street"

Grab your goats, and take some fat,
Leave the garbage on the doorstep,
Just direct your feet
To the Paki side of the street

Can't you hear that rat-tat-tat
Right on the tail of your step.
Let's pick a place to meet
On the Paki side of the street.

I used to walk like a man,
And was pro-Taliban.
Now you must understand
Osama...wed a llama.

If we never get a meal
We'll be rich as a Bin Laden
If we can just retreat
To the Paki side of the street.

bttt

Thanks. I needed that.

Your party's over, it's time to call it a day

We'll burst your balloon

And take your paper moon away

Time to end your masquerade, the piper will be paid

You'll be flushed down the bidet

Your party's over, your candles flicker and dim

You strike day and night, you think it's so right

But your future is grim

You'll soon comprehend, when our missiles ascend

That we'll get your rear-end

YOUR PARTY'S OVER, MY FRIEND!

Leni

There's a raghead we're told

has a whole lot of gold

And he's buying a stairway to he..aven.

Navy seals, Delta Force

searchin for his stronghold

To help climb up the stairway to heaven

As tanks wind on down his road

And George takes up all his gold

The Fox ladies will be told

.He'll soon get what he asks for

Cause he's buying a stairway to Fire and Brimstone.

BUMP