Posted on 12/05/2015 7:06:29 PM PST by RaceBannon
The Night They Gunned Down Santa Claus by Chet Lynn
There's strange things done 'neath the Vietnamese sun but the thing that locked my jaws was the night 'neath the moon, the third platoon gunned down Santa Claus.
It started off right just another night, you had to spend in the dirt, security was out, .360 about with fifty percent alert.
We had 81s and naval guns our tanks were track to track, an ontos or so an arty FO with barrages back to back.
I froze where I stood 'cause out of the wood eight horses came charging along, this may sound scary those mustangs were hairy, "Oh no," I moaned," mounted Viet Cong."
They were coming our way pulling what looked like a sleigh you never knew what they'd use, our flares were tripped our SIDs had flipped Our tipsy blew a fuse.
We let them close then we yelled "who goes" like they do in the movie show, the answer we got, believe it or not, was a hearty," Ho Ho Ho."
Now these troops of mine have seen some time they've done some things back-assward, they may be thick but I'll tell you a trick they knew that wasn't the password.
The nineties roared, the 81's soared, the naval guns raised hell, a bright red flare flew through the air, as we fired our FPL.
I'll grant him guts but that man was nuts or I'm a no good liar, he dropped like a stone in our killing zone I passed the word, "cease fire".
I went out and took a real good look, my memory started to race, my mind plays games when it comes to names but I never forget a face.
He was dressed in red and he looked well fed older than most I'd seen, he looked right weird with that long white beard and stumps where his legs had been.
He hadn't quite died when I reached his side but the end was clearly in sight, I knelt down low and he said real slow, "Merry Christmas...and to all, a good night..."
Now we should have known our cools were blown when that light in the East we seen. I thought it was flares and it had to be theirs or the damned things would have been green.
I picked up the hook with a voice that shook said "Gimme the Six and quick." "Colonel," I said, "hang on to your head, we just greased old St. Nick."
Now the old man's cool. He's nobody's fool, right off he knew the word. If This got out, there'd be no doubt, he wouldn't be making his bird.
"Just get him up here and we'll play it by ear, make sure he's got a tag, dismantle the sleigh, drive those reindeer away and bury that damned old bag."
Now by and by the kiddies may cry 'cause nothings under the tree, but the word came back from FMFPac that Santa had gone VC.
There's strange things done 'neath the Vietnamese sun but the time that locked my jaws, was the night 'neath the moon, 'When the third platoon gunned down Santa Claus.
~*~ And a Merry Christmas to all...~*~ http://rescueattempt.tripod.com/the_night_they_gunned_down_santa_clause.wav
Hilarious RB and Semper Fi from an old Army guy and Merry Christmas!
Excellent clever JC poster.
saved it pass it on
Thanks, sent to my pops. USMC,65-69, 3rd division honorably discharged, combat veteran. Most unassuming, modest, humble guy I think I might know. He is such a Mick mench.
Merry Christmas to all!
This strange creature was a tracked vehicle with six 106mm recoilless rifles all pointing in one direction. It is worth looking up as a curio - the military equivalent of a platypus.
What’s a tipsy?
Brings back memories of sitting around camp late night with fellow Corpsmen and Marines, re-writting Christmas Carols. Funny Stuff! Semper Fi!
Climbed inside an Ontos once. I’m 6’2” and that was a cramped little sucker.
Ontos - Think of a ‘lowered’ Bobcat skid-steer with armor plate and a 283 Chevy V-8.
Six 106 recoil-less rifles, each with its own .50 cal spotter rifle bore-sighted and loaded with a WP-Tracer with identical ballistics to the 106 round.
These 106s could be loaded with HEAT (High Explosive Anti-Tank), HE, Hep-T, Flechettes (’Beehive’ - so called for the buzzing sound these hundreds of mini-darts made).
Very accurate! We watched an Ontos and an M-48 tank have a shooting match at a tree. The Ontos won handily!
Very thin armor. Light weight (compared to a tank), able to go places a tank would bog down. Pick a ‘hull defilade’ firing position, shoot-n-scoot!
Lots of firepower in a small package!
Is a ontos also known as mighty might? My dad scrap book has similar looking machines in pictures, I think, and “the mighty might” is labeled by the snaps.
Thanks in advance.
Ontos
Amazing that an 88,000 pound armored vehicle could swim so well.
Slightly different in optics, lol.
Thanks.
Many years ago, I think it was Howard Fast, the former communist, who wrote an anti-Vietnam short SciFi story entitled “The General Killed an Angel” (in Vietnam).
It was a nasty piece of work but was the featured cover of a SciFi paperback I have somewhere around the house.
Just because Santa was dressed in “red” doesn’t mean we have to kill him. Just take him in for an interrogation. I want to know where he gets all those toys and how he fits them all into his sled.
Image if we could pack a C-130 like that. We’d crush ISIS before New Years.
I dunno, I was 77-81, air winger
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