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To: awelliott

we’re talking a case of one Christian sinning against another.


Thinking Cap Award.

Forgiveness has become too cheap a word. There is much behind that simple word. When I read the stories in the paper of parents forgiving someone who has murdered their child, something is not right for me. Of course this is through the filter of the news paper and I don’t know the hearts of the parents or offender. but I don’t think it is forgiveness that should be expressed, but trust in God for the situation. On the other hand if it is forgiveness it is incomplete?

Now in the case of non Christians? I ask because it seems many are confused and think the response is the same in both situations. We like simple answers to apply in all situations.

By the way, thanks for the iron sharpening.


18 posted on 03/30/2017 6:44:19 AM PDT by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere.)
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To: PeterPrinciple
Forgiveness has become too cheap a word. There is much behind that simple word. When I read the stories in the paper of parents forgiving someone who has murdered their child, something is not right for me. Of course this is through the filter of the news paper and I don’t know the hearts of the parents or offender. but I don’t think it is forgiveness that should be expressed, but trust in God for the situation. On the other hand if it is forgiveness it is incomplete?

I completely agree. As for your example, I couldn't begin to put myself in the parents' place, but I agree that forgiveness doesn't seem to be the exact sentiment in most of those cases (I recommend a book called "Revenge Redeemed" by Bob Stewart as a moving exception). However, if that's what it takes to help them through their grief, then great. Same with someone who has been wronged, can't work it out, and is tormented by anger and a desire for vengeance - if "forgiveness" allows them to move on and avoid those destructive emotions, who am I to question it? The offended person has removed the temptation, and God will ultimately deal with the offender.

Now in the case of non Christians? I ask because it seems many are confused and think the response is the same in both situations. We like simple answers to apply in all situations.

Well, I believe a Christian who is the offended party would react much the same way (minus the church involvement), i.e., try to deal with it one-on-one, then bring in some trusted friends to help mediate if necessary. If that fails, then I believe that scaling back the relationship would be appropriate - always with the hope of being able to reconcile somewhere down the road.

I believe a major problem we have in all circumstances is that we forget Matthew 18. We're tempted to first validate the "offense" with our friends to see if our feelings are valid. That, to me, is a betrayal of an already damaged relationship which, if discovered by the other party, is likely to destroy the relationship. Going to my friends, who are likely to take my side anyway, is likely to poison their attitude toward the offender and publicize the incident within that social circle. Besides, it does absolutely nothing to resolve the conflict. The right thing to do is to always try to handle it one-on-one. There's no need to "validate" my feelings with anybody other than the offender. As often as not, things can be worked out without dragging others into it, with the result being a stronger, more honest and open friendship. And, if not, then our concerns have been validated and we know how we are to respond.

Thanks for the stimulating conversation, I wish you well!

19 posted on 03/30/2017 9:32:11 AM PDT by awelliott (What one generation tolerates, the next embraces....)
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