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My Plea “I’m a Divorced and Remarried Mother. Please, Don’t Change Church Practice.”
First Things ^ | November 3, 2014 | Luma Simms

Posted on 11/04/2014 10:45:38 AM PST by sitetest

The day my soul became Catholic was the day I found out that as a divorced and remarried woman I could not receive Communion. Tears of sorrow and joy flowed. Sorrow because I had by then grasped the truth of transubstantiation, only to find I couldn’t consume, and joy because at last we found the ground of real authority—his Church, the one he founded, the one tasked to keep all he taught her Apostles.

I came to Catholicism from Calvinism. That’s a tough row to hoe if there ever was one. It was that prescient and beautiful encyclical Humanae Vitae which softened my heart to the Catholic Church. After that, I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to hear what the Church believed in her own words. And so I kept reading—Theology of the Body, Familiaris Consortio, Mulieris Dignitatem, and Church documents significant to those of us coming from the Reformed tradition.

Because I had been divorced, and because another family member recently left his marriage after forty-three years, our children had many doubts and questions about marriage. One day around the dinner table one of the kids voiced their anxiety, stating in our presence that “you never know” if both mom and dad will be there for you as you grow up.

(Excerpt) Read more at firstthings.com ...


TOPICS: Catholic; Moral Issues; Religion & Culture; Theology
KEYWORDS: divorce; doctrine; marriage; remarriage
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To: sitetest
I found out that as a divorced and remarried woman I could not receive Communion.

Certainly you can. Control your sexual urges for an extended time (i.e. years), repent for past activity and vow to live as brother and sister.

21 posted on 11/04/2014 11:14:45 AM PST by steve86 (Prophecies of Maelmhaedhoc OÂ’Morgair (Latin form: Malachy))
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To: Responsibility2nd
"Let me know if she ever gets to Christianity."

LOL

22 posted on 11/04/2014 11:19:05 AM PST by Dutchboy88
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To: sitetest

Its been done before.

And all the anti-Catholic remarks were removed.

Cause this is a Catholic-centric site.


23 posted on 11/04/2014 11:19:25 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: sitetest
Perhaps you could elaborate.

There's really nothing to elaborate. They both divorced their spouses in the 1960s, were Catholic & wanted to remarry in the Catholic Church.

When I was young & learned of the prohibition on divorced people receiving communion, I asked how they managed to get around it. I was told, in a "wink/nod" manner, they made a donation to the church.

24 posted on 11/04/2014 11:20:47 AM PST by gdani (Ebola has exposed the U.S. as fearful, easy-to-manipulate weaklings)
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To: steve86
Dear steve86,

Apparently, the woman is involved in the process with the marriage tribunal. Thus, it is reasonable to believe that she believes subjectively that her first marriage was invalid.

In that she has submitted her case to the Church, and has explicitly and rather publicly committed to accepting the judgment of the Church, it isn't unreasonable for her to hold to her subjective opinion until it is replaced by the determination of Objective fact.

She abides by the teaching and discipline of the Church by abstaining from Communion until there is a ruling one way or the other, but until the Church tribunal were to uphold the validity of the first marriage, I think one can make allowances for someone in objectively doubtful circumstances.

Should she find herself with a ruling of validity rather than of nullity, it would be incumbent upon her and her putative "husband" to do their best to follow the path that you have laid out.


sitetest

25 posted on 11/04/2014 11:21:06 AM PST by sitetest (If Roe is not overturned, no unborn child will ever be protected in law.)
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To: sitetest

I don’t understand how partaking in communion can be withheld for divorce, but actively supporting homosexuality and abortion is A-OK!
Hypocritical to the max and 100% un-Christ-like.

If you hold public views favoring either of those things you have definitely excluded yourself, no matter if you are protestant of catholic. Privately, if you hold those views you are eating and drinking judgment upon yourself. Personally, I have not taken communion a few times because I had some things to work through.


26 posted on 11/04/2014 11:23:49 AM PST by vpintheak (Keep calm and Rain Steel!)
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To: vpintheak
Dear vpintheak,

Well, in point of fact, many folks who support abortion and homosexual activities would agree with you. That was sort of the subtext of the late synod - liberals wishing to liberalize even more of the practice of the laity.

From my perspective, the solution isn't to introduce further scandalous practice by permitting the divorced-and-remarried to receive communion, but rather to tighten things up and ban from the sacraments (other than sacramental confession to renounce these evils) those who publicly endorse legal abortion and inanities like homosexual "marriage."


sitetest

27 posted on 11/04/2014 11:29:15 AM PST by sitetest (If Roe is not overturned, no unborn child will ever be protected in law.)
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To: NKP_Vet

Francis attacking Catholic doctrine is attacking Christ.


I pretty strongly disagree with that one. I attack Catholic doctrine all the time because it does not reflect the Christ of the bible nor what the bible teaches.

On a side note, my father in law has been a Catholic all of his 87 years. His family attended mass DAILY for decades. They love their church. But he is at death and he is afraid he is lost because of how he treated his parents as a teenager.

Apparently he didn’t learn much about the actual teaching of Christ in all those meetings. It’s either on him or on the church he was attending. And, come to think of it, my wife’s deceased first husband’s dad (92) has similar issues. He also was a lifelong Catholic.

Yet none of the “practicing” evangelical Christians I’ve known who were old and/or close to death had such concerns. Not a one. In fact, one was given a year to live (He had cancer at about 50) and praised God and looked forward to going home until the day he died. Many accused him of being in denial and he’d “lose it” in the end. He never did.

Judge a tree by its fruit.


28 posted on 11/04/2014 11:29:29 AM PST by cuban leaf (The US will not survive the obama presidency. The world may not either.)
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To: Resolute Conservative

Are you saying that Jesus would have allowed the woman at the well to partake in communion if she had married the man she was with?

;-)


29 posted on 11/04/2014 11:30:37 AM PST by cuban leaf (The US will not survive the obama presidency. The world may not either.)
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To: C. Edmund Wright
Don’t be ridiculous....no Catholic Priest has ever sinned. /s

Oh, man. You SOOOOO owe me another bottle of iced tea. And a new keyboard.


30 posted on 11/04/2014 11:30:57 AM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: vpintheak
I don’t understand how partaking in communion can be withheld for divorce, ...

Partaking in Communion is not withheld for divorce; it is withheld for re-marriage if the other "prior" spouse is still alive.

Remember that line "'till death do us part"?

31 posted on 11/04/2014 11:32:11 AM PST by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: steve86

Control your sexual urges for an extended time (i.e. years)...


Out of curiosity, since she is already remarried, how would she do that now and why would it matter?


32 posted on 11/04/2014 11:34:39 AM PST by cuban leaf (The US will not survive the obama presidency. The world may not either.)
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To: cuban leaf

I cannot speak for my Lord except to say that He said He has come to save all of us all we have to do is to ask and accept it. I cannot see Him telling one person no for a sin when we are all sinners. That would make Him a liar and He is not.


33 posted on 11/04/2014 11:36:07 AM PST by Resolute Conservative
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To: DuncanWaring
Partaking in Communion is not withheld for divorce; it is withheld for re-marriage if the other "prior" spouse is still alive.

Correct. So the way to be allowed to partake again is to hire a hitman to kill your ex, and then go to Confession and receive absolution for the murder.

Sarcasm tag withheld on purpose.


34 posted on 11/04/2014 11:39:51 AM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: cuban leaf

That is actually a complex question. Would she have married the man she was with after being saved? ;-)


35 posted on 11/04/2014 11:40:23 AM PST by sigzero
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To: gdani

Wasn’t there a big name politician who did the same thing? Can’t remember who.....had his long-time marriage absolved (with a large donation) in order to marry and remain in good standing with the church. I’ll remember who it was in the middle of the night.


36 posted on 11/04/2014 11:40:45 AM PST by JudyinCanada
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To: JudyinCanada
Dear JudyinCanada,

If this politician had grounds for a declaration of nullity, and he made a large donation, anyway, then he was a fool.

Although it takes a while, if one has grounds, the most I've ever heard of any diocese charging for use of the marriage tribunal is $1500. And frankly, most are under a thousand dollars. My own charges $500 and discounts or waives all the fees for folks who can't afford it.

Most dioceses get about half their costs back to conduct their tribunals through the tribunal fees. The general funds of the diocese cover the rest.

So, anyone with grounds who obtains his declaration of nullity with a large donation has wasted his money. He could have had the same by just paying the modest tribunal fees.


sitetest

37 posted on 11/04/2014 11:46:39 AM PST by sitetest (If Roe is not overturned, no unborn child will ever be protected in law.)
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To: sitetest
Some people may be shocked at the idea of submitting to a church that tells me because I’m divorced and remarried I can’t take Communion.

Really? Is no one going to call this person out on her false representation of Church teaching? Of course she can go take communion. She just can't have sex with her new husband.

And if she is, abstaining from communion doesn't make it okay. She is still committing grave sin.

I'm not Catholic (any more) but I know that much.

38 posted on 11/04/2014 11:55:30 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: steve86

I posted my #38 before I saw your post. :-)

I’m glad someone called her on that.


39 posted on 11/04/2014 11:56:27 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Resolute Conservative
Do some priests excuse themselves from communion if they have sinned?

yes, until they have received absolution from another priest.

40 posted on 11/04/2014 11:57:27 AM PST by terycarl (common sense prevails over all)
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