Posted on 09/29/2014 6:55:37 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
Have you ever heard of a church that turned away a little boy because he had red hair? What if a mother was greeted at the children’s ministry check-in with news her redheaded son had to go back home? No, you can’t imagine. If any church ever sent home a child because of their natural hair color it would make the evening news!
Now, have you ever heard of a church that turned away a little boy because he was on the autism spectrum? What if a mother was greeted at church check-in with the news that her son with autism couldn’t be accommodated? Yes, you can imagine. It happens.
Did you know that the percentage of Americans with red hair¹ is roughly equal to the percentage of 8-year-old boys diagnosed with autism? I think it’s fair to say that statistically speaking, a children’s ministry should have the same number of participating boys with autism as with red hair. That’s pretty sobering. People would go nuts (justifiably) if families of redheaded kids had to figure out which churches were “redhead friendly”. The reality is that this same scenario is happening now for families of kids with autism. While many churches are working to become special needs-friendly, there is room for improvement.
Recently a church leader said to me,
“We just don’t have any kids with significant special needs in our church. We haven’t seen the need to create a ministry or think about doing anything special to accommodate students with disabilities.”
I didn’t say anything in response. But given the size of the church, this statement seemed doubtful. Intuition told me that this leader was disengaged and inexcusably unaware of what was going on in the lives of church families. I also wondered if perhaps this leader had somewhere along the way earned the reputation of being “unfriendly to special needs”. Once a church or church leader has earned that reputation, impacted families go elsewhere or nowhere.
Looking back on my brief dialogue, I’m pretty sure the Holy Spirit restrained my sharp tongue. Everything inside of me wanted to quip back, “So your megachurch doesn’t have any kids with red hair?” I’ve since envisioned a hypothetical conversation addressing the statistical improbability of that ministry leader’s declaration. But it’s just as well I didn’t respond the way I wanted to…real change never happens by embarrassing a person.
Okay, back to my point. In church world, we’re at a fork in the road. Up to now, it’s been an accepted norm that not all churches could or should accommodate kids with autism and other special needs. (And I share in my book that not all churches can accommodate to the same degree.) But times are a changin. It is no longer acceptable for any church to be unaware of and unprepared to welcome families with special needs. Every church needs a plan for inclusion. And the best place to start is by hiring a special needs-friendly family ministry leader.
Autism Facts
¹ Number of Americans with red hair http://health.yahoo.net/experts/dayinhealth/weird-facts-about-redheads; Total US Population https://www.census.gov/popclock/
² http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html
Oh, and Happy World Autism Awareness Day!
Interesting the author doesn’t cite a single of a Church turning away a child specifically for the reason of “autism”.
Certainly there have been cases where the parents of autistic children have been asked to leave but it’s because of behavior, outbursts, not autism.
My son is on the autistic spectrum, and I’ve seen other children and young people in church who are more noticeably autistic. They’re welcome, as are children with Downs Syndrome, muscular dystrophy, etc. Yesterday I saw a young woman with a service dog.
That was exactly my point. The reason no examples were offered is that if you look into it the reason would be that the Church asked a parent to remove a child who was disrupting the service. I would be surprised to find a single example of a family being told by a church they weren't welcome soley because their child was autistic.
can we talk? No special ed classes for autistics, but free tuition for hispanics just because. But the child is encouraged to go to the weekly religious classes.
But as far as church he is o.k., because I disciplined him to behave in church when young.
The previous pastor did not like being in the same room , vestibule, or church with my son. May have had to do with the fact we weren’t wealthy. But the middle of road Irish priest we have now is fine.During previous regime we went to the Chapel on base, (when they had a chapel on the Navy Base).
Some nits to pick: the stats used for autism are actually those used for Autism Spectrum Disorders, including Asperger’s Syndrome, which is far, far, far more common than Autism. In fact, it’s diagnoses of ASD which are exploding, not Autism.
What a load! Sorry, a Church isn’t required to bend over to accomidate everylittle thing like libs want public schools.to.do. 1st mission is to preach the gospel, the rest is all fluff!
In St. Paul’s analogy of the body, he mentions that, with the physical body, we clothe with greater honor the parts that are “less presentable.” I think it’s a reasonable interpretation of this point to say that the church, in its component congregations, should understand that the “least presentable” - babies, the infirm, the disabled - are to be treated with special care.
I think this means that every congregation should make an effort to meet the needs of all. If that means accommodating a family with an autistic child, a good-faith effort should be made.
I think this means that every congregation should make an effort to meet the needs of all. If that means accommodating a family with an autistic child, a good-faith effort should be made.
This is a great analogy and example. Thank you for posting it!
Pinging the good pastor to the thread.
You’re welcome.
I’ll add that “a good-faith effort” doesn’t guarantee success. Regardless of the details of the “special need,” there’s always the possibility that a specific congregation won’t be able to address it in a way that’s satisfactory to all. However, if a family with an autistic child shares the beliefs of a church and would otherwise be welcomed as members, I think there is no other choice for Christians than to try to work with it.
The difference between them?
**Sorry, a Church isn’t required to bend over to accomidate everylittle (sic) thing **
The Catholic Church will welcome these little ones as well as the lost. Everyone needs to hear the Gospel and the Words of Christ!
Something that needs to be handled delicately.
The other issue is that in some towns, there isn’t another parish or congregation.
Asperger’s Syndrome is what we used to call “socially awkward.” I’d be glad that research is being done at how to maximize achievement, but lumping them in with Autism is ridiculous. Autistic kids frequently cannot even achieve basic communication, whereas Aspergers kids often have precocious vocabularies (”little professors”).
Aspergers kids may prefer to socialize with adults and may have difficulty interpreting social cues; Autistic kids are often incapable of any affection whatsoever to even their own parents.
Aspergers kids may prefer intense interests, often with highly repetitive tasks; Autistic kids may be thrown into violent fits if their ritualistic behavior is disturbed.
Prior to 1981, no-one would have ever thought to call a kid with Asperger’s “disabled.” Autistic children are often completely incapable of functioning. IN fact, while I have theological problems with it, some people have even suggested that some of Jesus’ exorcisms were actually healings of severe autism.
In a Catholic mass, Aspergers kids would have no difficulty at all. In fact, some people have suggested they may gravitate towards the Latin Mass, charismaticism, or other intense worship. Autistic kids, on the other hands, may be prone to throwing fits, and may require tolerance and understanding on the part of the congregation... although the couple autistic kids I know of in my parish are frequently able to be managed simply by making use of the crying rooms.
By the way: I believe I may have a touch of Asperger’s. It’s hard for me to relate to having a “condition,” but I can see myself in many of the criteria, and nearly all of the “shorthands” my wife says her fellow Asperger’s kids’ teachers use.
Any Church should welcome the little ones. However, any Church shouldn’t start acting like public schools.
The Church should reach out to these families, fine, but the parents should likewise have the tact and consideration to make use of the crying rooms if their child is known to become upset or disruptive, or cannot sit quietly through the entire service (that goes for non-disabled children as well). That way, everyone is accommodated.
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