Does anyone dress or show up for Church on time any more? (Vanity)

NoKoolAidForMe | 07-23-12 | NoKoolAidForMe

[NoKoolAidforMe]

Yesterday at mass, a man came in with two girls (both of an age where each could stand and speak on their own.) ten minues after the liturgy began.

He stood along the side aisle wearing shorts, an advertisement tee shirt, and sneakers and leaned one foot against the wall of the church while standing. There were seats available.

When we stood for the gospel, he then decided to sit down. He did not pray with the girls nor follow along with the missal. He held one girl up for the entire mass, talking throughout with her feet on the top of the pew in front of him, even through the announcment that asked parishioners to show up on time and dress appropriately for mass and set a good example for our children. He bounced her up and down, kissing her repeatedly throughout the entire liturgy.

I write this diatribe because I am not sure if I am being unreasonable in expecting people to show up on time for mass, dress in attire that does not look like you are going to play baseball in the park, and behave in a respectful manner (you know, don't talk in church.)

Whatever happened to manners? Does anyone else notice this?

[notaliberal]

Yeah but would they go to their boss’s party dressed in daisy dukes or the like…..I doubt it!

[steve86]

Thankfully, in our church (Greek Orthodox, in Southern California), people show up mostly on time and dress appropriately, with the exception of some of the teenage girls

Yes, our small Latin Rite/Tridentine Mass is about like that. The men don't generally wear suits here, unlike SSPX, but dress respectfully. The women mostly wear dresses and also veils (which are provided in the vestibule). It has been a couple years since we had the "teenage girl" problem -- the ones who attend now dress VERY respectfully -- but for a while there a couple of young ladies who happen to be Hispanic were showing way too much. Have since learned that is not at all uncommon at the Hispanic-oriented Vatican II Masses around here. Not sure why they choose to be immodest. The Blessed Virgin Mary has made a point of modesty during more than one approved apparition and I can't imagine that Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe was any different.

[stars & stripes forever]

Or she spit or smudged it out of spite.

I never thought of that. She may have been a devil in disguise.

[steve86]

There’s no Real Presence at your worship service so who cares.

[Popman]

I go to church in shorts, sandals and a collared button down casual shirt

I sometimes remember to brush my teeth...too

God cares about your heart, not my clothes

[shotgun]

Thank you for posting that! I used that exact bible verse at a Bible study at my work when one of the ladies mentioned that you can only come to her church if men were dressed in suits and women in dresses.

I also asked how did that fit with Jesus touching the “unclean woman” and that it sounded to me that her church was imposing man’s law ahead of God’s much in the same way the Pharisees did. I also thanked her for telling which church she went to so I could avoid it in the future. Her husband got it but she just turned up her nose...

My pastor, who led to to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, always dressed casually so no one would feel uncomfortable and the sign on the door, “Come as you are” truly meant that. We had a few millionaries in our church as well but no one was ever expected to put on airs to attend.

[mware]

I hear what you say, but as my parish priest has said many times,"I love you all dearly, but I am not going to hell for you."

It is his responsibility, and he takes it seriously, that he will be called to account as the head of his flock. He can not turn a blind eye toward those transgressions.

Recall this Sundays reading where God tells his shepherd that they will be held accountable for their flock if he does not lead them righteously.

[generally]

Jesus probably didn’t wear wingtips. He probably wore sandals. Maybe he was even barefoot at times.

While it might be nice if everyone dressed up, I am happy that they take the time to attend.

Also, consider that with some of the better-dressed parishioners, there is a competition for who has the nicest dress, most expensive jewelry, etc. Is that what we should focus on? Neither extreme is desirable.

I say, encourage people to come regardless of outward appearance.

When my kids were little, getting them and myself ready was a LOT of work. Sometimes they were very well-dressed. Other times just getting there was an achievement.

[momtothree]

Reminds me of an old Johnny Paycheck song called “The Outlaw’s Prayer”

You know, I worked the Big Packet show in Fort Worth, Saturday night,
We had all day Sunday to rest and relax, before I caught another flight,
So I decided to walk down town an’ get myself a little fresh air.
Before long, I found myself in front of a big church on the corner of the square.

Boy, I could hear that singin’ way out in the street, sure was a beautiful sound.
So I just walked up the steps an’ opened the door an’ started to go inside an’ sit down.
But before I could, a young man walked over to me an said: “Excuse me, Sir”,
“But I can’t let you in with that big black hat, those jeans, that beard an’ long hair.

So I just left, went back outside, sat down on that curb, and I thought to myself:
That’s the house of the Lord. That guy’s got the hell of a nerve.
Tellin’ me I can’t worship anywhere I please.
So right there, in front of that church, I just knelt down on my knees.

I said: “Lord, I know I don’t look like much, but I didn’t think you’d mind.
“I just wanted to be with Your people, Lord: it’s been a long time.
A while ago, a saw a wino over there in the alley, all bent over in tears,
An’ I thought how one stained glass window, from this church, would feed his family for years.

Then there’s those fine cars parked outside: too many for me to count.
Made me think how people walked for days to hear your sermon on the Mount.
Then there’s those fine ladies in the choir, Lord, singin’ like they really love it.
Hell, last night, they were dancin’ on the front row of my show, drinking beer and screamin” “Shove it!”

You know, even John the Baptist wouldn’t be welcome in this place,
With his coat made of camel hair an’ sandals on his feet,
You know, Lord, when you come back to get your children, an take em’ beyond the clouds.
To live forever in heaven with you: well, I’d sure hate to be in this crowd.

You know, Lord, I’m not perfect; some even call me no count.
But I’ll tell you: I believe a man is judged by what’s in his heart, not what’s in his bank account.
So if this is what religion is: a big car, a suit an’ a tie,
Then I might as well forget it Lord, ‘cause I can’t qualify.

Oh by the way, Lord, right before they kicked me out, didn’t I see a picture of You?
With sandals an’ a bear, Believe You had long hair, too.
Well, this is Paycheck, signing off.
I’ll be seeing you, Lord... I hope.

***This event actually did happen to Paycheck. Thus, the song was written....

[notaliberal]

Would you go to your boss’s party with all the executives of your company in attendance in shorts—I bet you wouldn’t.

[AbolishCSEU]

Possibly. I went to a church were there was no Sunday school and the children were expected to actually sit still for at least 45 minutes a time no matter what age without the aid of toys or coloring books. Developed our vocabulary in no time flat and gave us an advantage at school academically. (See the movie “Goodbye Mr. Chips”)

[ichabod1]

You know what, it may be that they don’t know HOW to be undistracted. It’s a huge problem. I’ve worked very, very hard to try to learn to avoid distraction. Multitasking was being CELEBRATED for a while, but I think people mostly have realized what a bill of goods that was.

[justice14]

Exactly. Christians need to stick to sound doctorine. The Bible is our guidance to what is right and what is wrong. To deviate from it is a major major problem.

[Buckeye McFrog]

You are correct to the point where if a family comes in to my Church nicely attired (women in dresses, men in pressed slacks, leather shoes, ironed shirts, perhaps even ties and coats) they stand out merely by being so out of the norm.

Our Pastor has frequently commented that he notices young women at every Mass attired in ways that would draw an “R” rating at the beach.

I am in Pittsburgh where we have developed the very bad habit of wearing Steelers sports paraphernalia absolutely everywhere we go. I have been at Masses, funerals, elegant restaurants, and symphony concerts at Heinz Hall where over half the attendees were wearing Steeler sweats and t-shirts.

[Crusher138]

Our church out here in New Mexico meets in a school and is pretty casual. Even so, we had our youth pastor filling in for our regular pastor. He wore a t-shirt (yikes) that had an alcohol related logo (double-yikes) and did not understand my consternation.

After explaining the concepts of respect and appropriateness, I eventually got through to him by explaining that clothing worn by ANYONE in church that is a distraction to the message and worship is doing Satan’s work by coming between the messenger of God and those who are to receive His word. That gave him pause.

[Colonel_Flagg]

ten minues after the liturgy began.

At least your church has a liturgy. Mine doesn't.

In too many churches, by the time the 'passing of the peace' is done and the worship team has finished its warmup riffs and licks in preparation for the weekly 'Rock Me, Jesus' moment featuring that inspiring solo rendition of 'I Wanna Fog Up The Windows Of My Car By Jumping In The Back Seat With God', what you've got is a vapid, seeker-centered experience that is more an exercise in marketing than in worship.

But I'm afraid we'll have to get used to it, since the powers that be have decided that 'religion' is now a dirty word.

[ottbmare]

I have a feeling that people who come into the church and are comfortable enough there to be NECKING during the service aren’t “new believers.” People who have had kids in the church and let them run around screaming are not new. This thread started with a poster complaining about a man who let one of his kids stand with her feet on the back of the pew and talked through the whole service. That’s not a new believer who needs gentle instruction; anybody knows you don’t talk during important moments, much less during an entire service. No, the guy is a jerk.

Justice. Come on. You’re just arguing. I’m not talking about folks who go to church in jeans; you know that. I’m talking about people raised in the church who are running around with half their boobs hanging out, or people who, all theology aside, are being slobs in their behavior and exhibitionistic in their dress. Yeah, I think there’s something wrong with their attitude, because you don’t have to be an old hand at faith to know this is not okay anywhere. That’s not theology and there is no house of worship where this is OK.

[ThomasThomas]

When Jed and his family had guess they would show respect for them by putting on their good clothes. Some would call to these go to meeting clothes. For many today it seems going to the store to get hotdogs and going to church as no different. Everybody here in the photo is wearing what they feel is appropriate for guess. I understand that some can't afford fancy clothes. I also can see stopping at a church while traveling not being dressed up. If a smell homeless person comes into a church they should be made to feel welcome. But for many it just lazy and lack of respect.

[mnehring]

Usually I attend St. Mattress by the Springs or St. Andrews by the Green, but when I do go to church, it only seems appropriate to dress accordingly. You wouldn’t go to a job interview or visit a dignitary looking sloppy, why would you go to God’s house that way.

[justice14]

I initially only mentioned clothes. I didn’t mention behavior. And then I said that I wasn’t even talking about preventable behavior. All those things you described are perfect examples of something that should be addressed. I’m not arguing with that. All I mentioned was someone wearing a different style dress (not provactative) should not be looked down upon. That was in response to the title of the thread.

But again. I agree 100% with you. I was referring to dress.