Mormons opening up in an Internet world [& Losing members accordingly]

Deseret News ^ | Feb. 1, 2012 | Michael DeGroote

[Zakeet]

The Science of Kolob: the Sun borrows its light from Kolob through the medium of Kae-e-vanrash, and other stars receive their power through the revolutions of Kolob. Similarly, the earth receives its power through the medium of Kli-flos-is-es, or Hah-ko-kau-beam.

That's a new one..... Wow!!

That came directly from one of Joseph's scientific papers published in the Book of Abraham ... revealed by his peep stone.

You can read the sacred text here: THE MEANS BY WHICH ABRAHAM WAS TAUGHT ASTRONOMY.--THE ABRAHAMIC SYSTEM OF ASTRONOMY.--FROM THE EARTH TO KOLOB.--THE SYSTEM PROVEN TRUE BY RECENT RESEARCH.--TESTIMONY OR VARIOUS AUTHORS.--ALCYONE.--MR. PETRIE'S TESTIMONY.--ADMISSIONS THAT THE ANCIENTS WERE TAUGHT SCIENTIFIC TRUTHS BY DIVINE REVELATION.

And just when you thought that Mormonism couldn't get much weirder ...

[svcw]

I think that was the first season of Battlestar Galacica.

[Zakeet]

I think that was the first season of Battlestar Galacica.

LOL ... Yep ... You're probably right ... although I suspect that Joseph's session with John Barleycorn that one night at Mossier's Tavern in Nauvoo may also play a significant part in explaining his scientific genius.

[Tennessee Nana]

and whats the sun doing while all this wonderful Smithian science is going on ???

Getting her hair done ???

[annieokie]

hahahahahahahaha.

These mormons are just nutty. There never would have been a day that I would fall for any of their nonsense.

I once had a dentist, who wanted to hypnotize me and not use an anaesthetic. Okey dokey, lol, just you go right ahead and try it. rofl.

He proceeded with his routine, I'm trying to suppress my laughter, until I exploded with laughing out loud. HE GOT MAD AT ME. Hmmmph, imagine that. Idiot. I never went back to him either. Oh, he didn't do any work on me that day either. QUACK.

My pappy taught me, God gave you a brain, USE IT.

[Vendome]

I don’t get the picture

Why is the kid throwing up in his hat?

[Vendome]

I don’t get the picture

Why is the kid throwing up in his hat?

[annieokie]

KLI-flos-is-es and Hah-ko-kau-beam....??? ROFLLMHO

Da names, da names, my gosh the pain of da names.

Drunk??? I think maybe Kliflosises is really "I kinda like floosies" and the Hahkokaubeam is "How can I get off this beam".

Would be so great if someone would ask Romney to explain all this to us. rofl. Seriously, I would like some Media giant to ask him, with a straight face.

[annieokie]

No wonder Mittens don't want Newt to explore the moon and mocks him. He's afraid Newt will mess up his future playground.

Mitt!!! you can go early, stake yourself out a planet. Boomer-Sooner.

[Osage Orange]

Not surprising....

The more you know...the more you know it's a sham, goofy, fake, charismatic, cult religion.

The fact that LDS, Inc...keeps the con rolling is amazing to me.

But people are stupid, easily lead, misinformed, and just plain simple.

[Tennessee Nana]

think maybe Kliflosises is really “I kinda like floosies” and the Hahkokaubeam is “How can I get off this beam”.
____________________________________

NAH

Joey and Martin were writing their tome the book of mormon..

Emma brings in more booze...

Joey to Martin: Care for more Beam ???

Martin to Emma whose holding the bottle: Let it flow Sis...

See ???

I can read reformed egyptian...

Look Ma no hat...

LOL

[Zakeet]

Why is the kid throwing up in his hat?

The picture is an artist's rendering of Joseph supposedly translating the golden plates by gazing at his peep stone placed in the bottom of a hat.

According to official Mormon lore, Joseph supposedly used Urim and Thumim, a pair of peep stones set in a wireless glasses frames. Smith's wife Emma and his cousin Oliver Cowdery both never saw the peep glasses. Instead, they saw the guru with his face buried in a hat gazing at his peep stone for inspiration. Either way, you've got to admit ... just when you thought things couldn't get much weirder ...

[annieokie]

By golly you can read that gibberish. You go girl.

Dear Lord, I do so love this thread.

[Tennessee Nana]

and God and those on the threads love you

:)

[annieokie]

WHO DARES TO ASK THE GREAT ONE MITT ROMNEY TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS GIBBERISH? ANYONE? maybe Foxnews will do it.

[annieokie]

If that had been my kid, I would have smacked him til he couldn't sit down for a very long time, then I would admit him to an institution somewhere.

"Get your damn head out of that damn stinking hat, you moron." AHAH, so that's how he came up with the name mormon.

[annieokie]

thank you. blushhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[Scoutmaster]

The picture is an artist's rendering of Joseph supposedly translating the golden plates by gazing at his peep stone placed in the bottom of a hat.

Seer stones were common among those involved with folk magic in the 1820's and 1830's in New York/New England. More than one of Smith's seer stones is in the First Presidency vault according to multiple sources who have seen them, as well as the Urim and Thumim. Among those sources are former BYU history professor Dr. D. Michael Quinn, who was excommunicated after publishing Early Mormonism and the Magic World View, dealing with seer stones, Smith's Jupiter Talisman, and other links between popular folk magic of Smith's upbringing and his early family life.

This seer stone of Smith is in the LDS Wilford Woodruff Museum. It belonged to Smith's widow, Emma Hale Smith.

[Vendome]

Were Urim and Thumim the great grandparents of Uma Thumin?

[MHGinTN]

It was Shrooms I tell ya!