The Lost Art of the Insult

Time ^ | 14 Jul 2003 | JOSEF JOFFE

[Prodigal Son]

"And if I were your husband I would drink it."

One of the best comebacks ever IMHO.

[lizbet]

Maybe so in politics but not on the late night talk shows! Jay Leno has had a few words to say about the Dems AND the Pubbies!

[Just another Joe]

The Ultimate Flame - (mildly offensive!)
The art of the insult. ;^)

[DannyTN]

It's hardly fair to compare the rest of the world's politicians to the English Lords. They have been respectfully insulting each other for centuries.

[backhoe]

I'll be dogged if I can recall their names, but there were two Members of Parliment in Victorian England who were famous verbal enemies, and one of their exchanges went like this:

"You Sir, will die from either an Unspeakable disease- or insanity!"

The retort?

"That, Sir, depends upon which I embrace- your mistress, or your policies..."

[jim_trent]

Didn't he also have one that went along the lines:

Woman: You are drunk!
Reply: And you are ugly. But tomorrow I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

[Jhoffa_]

Lady Astor, Winston Churchill's nemesis, once said to him: "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee." Churchill didn't demand an apology or file a human-rights complaint. He just shot back: "And if I were your husband I would drink it."

LOL! What an awesome retort. Worthy of framing.

You go boy!

[nothingnew]

...they "never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."

IOW...

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul.

FMCDH

[1rudeboy]

bttt

[razorback-bert]

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.




W. Churchill

[x]

More of that incomparable Churchill wit here [Warning: contains language some may find offensive].

From what I understand, the German MEP put his assault on Berlusconi in the form of an attack on "Italian" corruption. Consequently, it was inevitable that Berlusconi would portray himself as standing up for Italy against Germany, but he surely he didn't have to go the old Nazi route in his response. A comeback like the Disraeli line Joffe cites would have won him more points.

[Arpege92]

I agree....excellent comeback!

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Attributed to a polical foe of Senator Huey Long, on being told that Caligula appointed his favorite horse Incitus - meaning sexually aroused - to the Roman Senate

Ah, be see how much wiser he was than the good people of Lousiana - at least he sent the whole horse!

[onyx]

I love your story!

[martin_fierro]

Flame Warriors

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Woman, to lexicographer Samuel Johnson, "Why Dr. Johnson, you smell."

"No madam, I stink, you smell."

[martin_fierro]

The Lost Art of the Insult

Or in TIME's case, "The Lost Art of Journalism"

[onyx]

I fell in love with Sir Winston the instant I read about his exchange with Lady Astor! I was a little girl at the time!

[Grut]

One of the best comebacks ever IMHO.

However, the one that retired the trophy :

One of the wits at the famous Algonquin Round Table walked up behind a very bald fellow wit, placed his hand on the man's scalp and remarked "By God, it's as smooth as my wife's bottom."

The bald gentleman paused briefly, then ran his own hand over his scalp. "By God," he replied, "you're right!"