Posted on 07/15/2023 6:12:20 AM PDT by Tom Tetroxide
Of course; that is part of the definition of "generalization". Generally, human beings have five fingers on each hand.
“Mother’s current boyfriend is the single most dangerous person, place or thing a young child faces.”
Correct.
Single women with children are very undesirable in the dating market—so the men they tend to get are dangerous losers.
A week of watching The Maury Show is enlightening
So typically, only the highest caliber men end up with the custody and that helps explain why the end result is usually much better.
Also, divorced (or widowed) men with custody of children seem to do much better attracting a quality mate, giving the children in most cases a decent stepmother and an adequate substitute for their own.
Not the case with single women with children. Quality men tend to shy away from them as they want to find a women to have his children to raise. Most men have no desire to raise another man's children.
End result is that the single women are often drawing from the bottom of the barrel when it comes to finding a man to help raise her children. As well, stepfathers often resent the woman's children being in the picture and the result is often abuse or neglect of the children.
Yes, there are exceptions. I'm speaking in general terms here.
In the article they talk of the issue of it being easier for dads to find
female influencers for their kids than moms being able to find male
influencers for the kids.
For this reason, kids living with mom are more likely to suffer from
the lack of a male influencer, than kids living with their dads are likely
to suffer from the lack of a female influencer, partly because female
teachers fulfill that role.
I would submit that this problem is exacerbated by the tendency for
moms to rip to shreds the former men in their lives right in front of
their kids. They destroy the natural tendency of kids to respect their
fathers.
Women when they get together love to talk, and exes come up, and
they love to address how these men failed them. The kids are right
there. Thus they destroy respect for the one male they should be
most influenced by.
Since men do not get custody, this issue does not play out equally.
I think that serves to prevent a real positive impact of a male
influencer in their children’s lives, which is very destructive.
Growing up, I can’t tell you how many women I observed doing this
sort of thing. Many… As for men, it was almost non-existent.
We have always known this and widows do pretty well, unlike single moms and divorcees.
“””Archived version.”””
https://archive.is/Zv9rp
Thanks for the readable version, it is a good read.
I agree, I spent a decade as a single mom of 3 boys. I kicked the abusive POS, out of our lives. Got really picky about who I dated on and off, and I ruled with strict rules and punishments for transgressions. Used the belt only once on each of them for dangerous stunts. Of course, that was back in the 70s and 80s’. Now child welfare would be called.
Bkmk
HOGWASH!
I think the article makes many intuitively obvious points; but facts are often counter-intuitive. The author mentions “the data” frequently, but never cites her sources; and in fact, mentions anecdotes from her experience. So I believe this article should be viewed as opinion from a college-educated person who probably hangs out mainly with the same types of people.
Being older and having watched a number of younger men who are the sons of my friends going through custody suits and being savaged by lying exes and their attorneys, I can greatly sympathize with those men who should by all rights be at least considered equal in a shared-custody arrangement, or in many cases should be the primary.
But I also take issue with the article’s statements that because women are more likely to have mental health issues, men are ergo the better custodial parent for the kids. The article further says that men can attract another “mother figure” more easily than a woman can attract a suitable “father figure.”
These are shallow conclusions that fail to take into account that the no-fault system can be fundamentally, soul-searingly unjust and punitive towards the faithful partner, whether male or female. Few genuinely caring parents can go through the process of having their children taken from them, or their access severely threatened, without succumbing to stress. Depending on the age of the child, the stress may be greater for a mother of infants, toddlers or pre-school children.
No-fault often rewards the cheating partner with a judicial stamp of approval for ditching the “loser” spouse and then waltzing away with the kids and the side piece. Even “saintly” women are getting away with this disgusting behavior, often when the kids are still small, and in the absence of any truly abusive behavior by her husband / the father of the kids. She just met somebody else at work or on the internet, and off she goes with the house, half of his money, part of his retirement or his business, and most of the kids’ custody. Then moves out of state.
Obviously there have always been and still are men who do this sort of thing as well; and no-fault similarly rewards many of them with full custody after his cheating has devastated the mother of his kids, who may not be able to afford a cutthroat lawyer as he sets out to destroy her—because the courts no longer recognize the fundamentally destructive assaults on the wife’s well-being of his having broken the marriage contract, his lies to his spouse to cover the infidelity, his plotting with the new woman to dispose of the mother’s involvement with the kids, and his coaching the kids to accept his moving into a sinful post-marriage cohabitation or second marriage that he arranged by defrauding the original spouse.
I’d really like to see an end to no-fault. It is wicked. I also believe that if a couple marry with certain expectations, such as we are both heterosexuals, we agree to raise the children as (name of religion), we both agree to be faithful, we agree to share custody in the remote chance we should divorce, we agree not to call any other person “mother” or “father”, etc., the courts should penalize the flouter of the basic agreement.
There are exceptions, of course. I got full custody of my 12 month old son. Ups and downs, but 2 years ago he retired from the Navy as a Chief Petty Officer. Now he takes care of his wife and my 3 grand kids.
I got full custody of my daughter when she was 6, the egg donor got monitored visitation at My Discretion. She is 36 now, married, 2 kids, 2 paid for houses, ....
They are doing just great
must be man week....all the man lovers are out in force....citing ridiculous articles that conveniently can’t be posted or read entirely except for signing up....
maybe just kill the mothers and be done with it? lots of men do....
All I can tell you, having been through the meat grinder that is Family Court, is men get the short end of the stick. Every. Single. Time.
No-fault or not.
I thought demographic aka race was a big contributor.
I bowed up against my dad when I was 14. He hit me square in the chest and knocked me down and knocked the wind out of me.
Never did that again.
A situation that correllates strongly with with very bad outcomes for children is “Toxic Environment Syndrome”. Children who grow up in unstable homes where they experience screaming.arguing, violence, frequent relocations, low levels of being read to or even spoken to, etc., have higher incidences of inability to control temper, violent outbursts, inability to cope with adversity, inability to learn, and general socialization deficiencies that are very hard to repair. (i.e., this is how ferals are created). This effects children of any race raised in hellish environments. Do some races have a higher incidence of children in Toxic Environments? I don’t know, but anecdotal evidence suggests “yes”. It seems a matter of culture rather than race.
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