Posted on 11/21/2017 2:29:14 AM PST by SMGFan
“Have you ever insisted, ‘Uncle just got here — go give him a big hug!’ or ‘Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss’ when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own? If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.”
That’s the advice the Girl Scouts of America is giving to parents. The organization published a blog post this week arguing that forcing children to hug relatives and family friends during the holidays could muddy the waters when it comes to the notion of consent later...
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
There is a more basic reason to not press children to embrace or kiss relatives.
The action, the kids know, comes with feelings for the person to be embraced or kissed, as they have seen and witnessed with their parents and others.
But feelings should come from within, not on command, and it is really O.K. if those feelings are not there, and the kid does not feel like a kiss or an embrace.
Forcing them to kiss or embrace a relative has them shutting off emotions in the act, when they are just not feeling like that. That is not a good life-lesson to do, to shut down emotions in situations when emotions are normally being expressed.
I witnessed this with a nephew as his three kids were growing up. Him and his mom were always telling the children - go give so-and-so a hug or a kiss. I could see their reticence in it.
To me they are now, as young adults, the least emotion sharing people I know, other than anger, which they have plenty expression of.
Feelings for relatives should come from a kids experience with the relatives, not on command, which makes them like Hollyweird air kisses - phony.
Physical contact, especially close physical contact, is not the same as verbal civilities.
I understand everyone is the product of his or her own experiences. I’m the product of mine. I do not think people should be touched if they don’t want to be, period.
Walmart has thin mints that are just as good and 5 times cheaper than girl scout cookies.
My once-huggy granddaughter at eight and a half is now hesitant with the hugging, and PaRed has cut it back so she’s not uncomfortable.
Examples? Not challenging you, but can not personally think of any.
Girl Scout Alternatives
https://hubpages.com/sports/Girl-Scout-Alternatives
The UNZ is excellent. Check it out and read the comments which are very high caliber, well written, and deep thinking. Let me know what you think.
You must be untouchable, Dont be so sensitive. Human contact, in fact, contact among many species is a natural event. When I was younger I had a lot of contact with many a fair maiden, but never did I force it.
As a young boy, I had many an aunt place a sloppy kiss on me. I didn’t much care for it nor did I really object. Later on in life, I remembered and loved all of them, and I remembered those wet kisses with affection. And today, I miss all of those aunts greatly.
Good site. But is it banned by FR, or has it barred its content from FR (and maybe other sites)?
No, it is banned from FR. I once tried to post an article from it.
May we know the reason for the banning?
I never said it wasn't, and I'll be exactly as sensitive as I wish to be.
But refusing to hug your gay uncle is “Hate” .
A relative who merely embraces a child or gives the child a kiss is a different emotional experience, to the child, than when an adult commands the child - go give so-and-so a hug or a kiss. In the former case the child is free to emotionally react how they want/feel, their was no authority power command behind it. In the later “to embrace or kiss” on command says ignore how you feel, think, just do it. Kids should not be learning that - ignore how you feel on command - as right emotional experience.
If grandma, grandpa, autie or uncle so-and-so has a good rapport with a child, good emotions will be there without coaching or command. If that good rapport is not there to start with, you can create it on command, and you are likely to produce the opposite - resentment.
None of my nephew’s kids have much affection for their grandmother, whom they were always commanded to go and give a kiss to, from a young age. It seems just like the Hollyweird “air kisses” today - pretense at what is not really there.
Why does every F’ing organization in the world these days feel compelled to hand out unsolicited advice on any and all subjects!
Ah, yeah, I wouldn’t hug any homosexual regardless of the relationship. More than 95% of male queers are same sex pedophiles; it’s part of the lifestyle yet hiding in the closet.
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