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Donald Trump’s glorious victory gave Fidel Castro a great big heart attack [secret story]
Secreto sources within Havana, Cuba | November 26, 2016 | self

Posted on 11/27/2016 8:55:36 AM PST by Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

On November 8th, Fidel was doing very poorly and was sounded disoriented. However, he was aware of the election in America between his friends, The Clintons, and the patriotic American-Donald Trump.

El Comandante assumed that globalizing socialist was destined to become the next US president. And so he laid down with a happy smile on his face and went to sleep. The nursing staff took over and monitored his vital signs. His family went to the other room to watch the news of the US election.

When the Castro sons realized that Donald Trump had won in America they threw their mojitos out the window and got in a horrible fight about their future in Cuba. And now for the hard part, no one dared to be the one to wake and tell their father. Since he appeared comatose any way, why bother the old man? Fortunately for everyone, Fidel remained semi-conscious for many days.

When ever he would stir, an argument ensued. The seven sons debated who would have to deliver the devastating news that Trump had won. Fidel’s doctor had suggested that they not tell him anything. Or, tell their father that the Clintons won again and all remains the same for Cuba. The same miserable communist life for the people, and a life of opulence and great wealth for the Castro familia.

Yesterday they argued so loudly, Fidel awoke. He was back to his usual self and he wanted to watch the election results. They quickly summoned Uncle Raul to deliver the terrible news to Fidel. Raul Castro had been busy scheming over their fate. He came in around 10:20PM and he leaned over Fidel's bed and whispered in his ear,

“Dearest brother, It seems that the Americans have chosen Donald Trump to be their leader,” “I am very sorry for all of us." "Your billion dollar loot combined with my five hundred millions should be enough for us to live handsomely in exile." "We should leave before the United States gets the real American president in office." "Fidel, I have checked, they have room for us in Bolivia or Mexico."

With that news, Fidel’s eyes grew big and round, he clutched his chest and he died. And that was that. News of Donald Trump’s glorious win gave Castro a massive heart attack.

(translation from Spanish)


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: castro; castroobit; cuba; fidel; trump; trumpcastro; vanity
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To: Biggirl

Are you saying they’re all “wee-wee’d up”?


21 posted on 11/27/2016 9:23:13 AM PST by ROCKLOBSTER (The fear of stark justice sends hot urine down their thighs)
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To: georgiegirl

Severe emotional distress can trigger heart attacks. It happens all the time.


22 posted on 11/27/2016 9:28:39 AM PST by Beautiful_Gracious_Skies ('45 will be the best ever.)
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To: Jim 0216

The Krintoons should follow suite like Papa Fidel.

And the world, will be better place.


23 posted on 11/27/2016 9:29:24 AM PST by Gasshog (Clinton denies... Except to see a lot of this)
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To: Jim 0216

How about citing a source/link to confirm this is actually a news story.

*******************

You can’t confirm a little gossip story but you sure can post it in News/Activism..


24 posted on 11/27/2016 9:29:30 AM PST by deport
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

Love it. A story with a really happy ending.


25 posted on 11/27/2016 9:29:59 AM PST by TheConservativeParty (TRUMP 45 Meet the new boss, not the same as any old boss.)
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

You obviously don’t know a lot of 90+ year old people.

They don’t give a hoot, one way or the other who wins an election.


26 posted on 11/27/2016 9:32:48 AM PST by Vermont Lt (Brace. Brace. Brace. Heads down. Do not look up.)
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

Meanwhile Cuban Americans are still celebrating.


27 posted on 11/27/2016 9:33:48 AM PST by Leep (Stronger without her!)
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

Well if you ever get a link to a bona-fide source on the internet, let me know because I’d love to get confirmation on a story like this.


28 posted on 11/27/2016 9:35:43 AM PST by Jim W N
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To: georgiegirl

Watch the international real estate buys or the flow of assets from Cuba.


29 posted on 11/27/2016 9:35:49 AM PST by Beautiful_Gracious_Skies ('45 will be the best ever.)
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

Most Socialist Elitists just threaten to leave the country. Castro decided to leave the planet.


30 posted on 11/27/2016 9:36:47 AM PST by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: Jim 0216

I learned in a bilble study class via Hebrew translation an explanation for good and evil. The hebrew teacher told us that God allows evil for a time, but when He acts it is swift and all at once. This feels like He has acted and the evil dominoes are falling one by one. I beleive the faithful Christians in Mexico will be freed from the drug cartel regime in Mexico soon. The U.S. Mexico alliance that Trump will form will insure this happens.


31 posted on 11/27/2016 9:38:01 AM PST by AmericanMade
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

Perfect story for an illustrated children’s book! Aimed at pre-schoolers who can’t read yet, so the parents would read them the story bit by bit at bedtime while the children look at the pictures.

Story would be written in the 3rd person, with most of the story told though dialog of the principle characters. The Seven Sons would be somewhat in the mold of the seven dwarfs, only with little Castro beards and tiny bandoleers crossed over their chests, etc., and example dialog would go as follows, with an illustrated page for each line:

Son One asked, “Who’s gonna tell the old man?”

“Not me!”, said Son Two.

“Me neither!”, said Son Three.

“No way, Jose!”, cried son Four.

etc.

Naturally, the story starts with:

“Once upon a time, there lived a sick old revolutionary killer and his seven sons ...”

...

Ends with: “Father, I’m sorry, but Donald Trump won.”

Then: illustration of Fidel going “ACK!” and croaking.

Then: illustration of “And ALL the Cuban politician prisoners were freed, etc. ...”

Lastly: illustration of “And ALL the Western world lived happily every after!”

[yes, i know, i’m a sick bastard ...]


32 posted on 11/27/2016 9:39:13 AM PST by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

Is Soros in for the same fate?


33 posted on 11/27/2016 9:41:19 AM PST by ChinaGotTheGoodsOnClinton (Go Egypt on 0bama)
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To: deport

It contains more truth than CNN delivers.


34 posted on 11/27/2016 9:42:24 AM PST by Beautiful_Gracious_Skies ('45 will be the best ever.)
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To: catnipman

Fine, I’ll supply you with the seven names of Fidel’s verified sons.

Fidelito (only officially recognized offspring)

Jorge Angel & Fransica Pupo,

Alexis, Alejandro, Angelito, Alexander and Antonio Castro


35 posted on 11/27/2016 9:46:34 AM PST by Beautiful_Gracious_Skies ('45 will be the best ever.)
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To: AmericanMade
when He acts it is swift and all at once

Interesting insight. I've never thought of that before. Certainly it will be how the seven-year tribulation ends - like a flash of lightening and the next thing you know all the evil in the world that has prevailed for seven years and gathered in the Valley of Maggedo ("Armageddon") will become blood up to the horses bridles (Rev 14:20).

In an instant, evil will be gone, light will expel the darkness, and Christ, the Prince of Peace, will reign forever and ever.

Thanks for sharing.

36 posted on 11/27/2016 9:49:52 AM PST by Jim W N
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To: georgiegirl

Obviously made up but inspired by true events so who cares??


37 posted on 11/27/2016 10:13:37 AM PST by nuf said (I am, therefore I think.)
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

I figure either the Pope or Obama were able to smuggle in an assassin.


38 posted on 11/27/2016 10:15:21 AM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Friday, January 20, 2017. Reparations end.)
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

More winning please! I’m still hungry.


39 posted on 11/27/2016 10:38:54 AM PST by Crucial
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To: Beautiful_Gracious_Skies

I will be tired of winning when I see engineering companies starting to hire jobless engineers in Houston.


40 posted on 11/27/2016 10:57:24 AM PST by 353FMG (AMERICA IS ALL THAT TRULY MATTERS)
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