Posted on 07/01/2015 4:46:52 PM PDT by Faith Presses On
Below are excerpts from a Salon article by Tracy Chabala, in which she expresses doubts about the "sexual revolution." She begins by talking about how a boyfriend was abusive during sexual relations, but, "For some reason, I pretended to like it."
Other excerpts:
You may wonder why I remained bewitched by him. There were the understandable reasons: He was brilliant, educated at a good college, ostensibly classy and a self-professed feminist. All of this was hugely attractive to me. And I was so used to his kind of sexuality — that rough and detached porn-style sex — I just figured there was something wrong with me if I didn’t dig it.
(snip - she writes that he wants them to go to a swinger's club)
I didn’t really consider the ramifications of the request in the moment. I told myself that he was just a free-spirited man who wasn’t shackled by societal conventions, a kind enough person who just wanted to have some casual fun.
Plus, what kind of ramifications could there be? As an empowered 21st-century woman, I should be able to screw five men at a time and a horse in between without any emotional fallout. Any emotional fallout is simply a byproduct of social conditioning, a tool to keep me sexually repressed. And the last thing I want to be is repressed.
(snip)
Eventually, I sent him an email: “I don’t want to go to a sex club, mainly because of diseases, mainly because I know it will destroy me, mainly because I’m not that kind of girl, mainly because I know I’d just be doing it to get your affection.”
(snip)
I used to party hard. I was often so wasted I could have all sorts of sexual liaisons with no emotional entanglements, like when I woke up one morning to discover I’d just had a threesome with my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend, and someone was getting strangled up in the mix. It was really easy to brush it off because I was only half-there at the time, if present at all. Plus, I could get drunk again, blurring both my memory and consciousness one more time for the next encounter. None of it hurt.
This kind of blasé sexual conduct seemed to be normal, expected even. As a fine arts student in college, everyone was having sex with everyone. These were moneyed kids at a prestigious university who prided themselves on their orgies and drugs and STDs. A friend in my photography class took portraits of all the random guys she slept with, something like 27, while another girl took a video of herself f---ing 100 guys in an hour. This was art. This was empowerment. This was feminist, or so they said. And I adopted that perspective as my own, without any serious critical inquiry.
(snip)
...Unable to work, and barely able to finish grad school, I realized I had to get sober. But it never dawned on me that when I kicked booze to the curb I’d have to rediscover what was OK for me sexually, because my entire sexual identity developed when I was wasted in my early 20s, and when I was wasted, nothing mattered...Now that I don’t drink, what I do or do not do sexually really matters...Now that I’m fully present in my mind and body, I can’t check out. It’s just not the same when I’m wasted. I don’t care. He doesn’t care. No one’s getting hurt.
(snip)
Just because I don’t want to be demeaned doesn’t mean I don’t have a sex drive or that I’m not insatiable. It also doesn’t mean I don’t like to mix things up and get kinky when I’m in a (dare I say the R word?) relationship. So when Adam asked me to go to a swinger’s club, I immediately said yes, mainly because I didn’t want to be labeled a prude.
And then it hit me: Why should I feel guilty and ashamed of not digging on orgies?
(snip)
But for now, I’m glad I could assert what was right for me. I am neither virgin nor whore, and I choose to hold that space proudly, which is not easy to do. I’ve always felt pressured to be one or the other to suit some man’s fantasy...
(snip)
And at 36 I can also admit that I can’t do casual sex. If I sleep with someone, I start feeling an emotional bond, even though some sex workers and sex writers tell me that attachment is a myth propagated by the patriarchy to keep me sexually disempowered. It doesn’t matter — I can’t do it. Maybe that makes me uncool, unhip and undesirable, but I just don’t care anymore. Do I have to be emotionally attached to sleep with someone? Hell no — if a guy’s got charm and brains and that indefinable sex appeal I’ll want to rip my clothes off. But today, I have to use discretion. Today, I have to be honest with myself, and if I think the guy’s going to bounce the second he gets in my pants, I have to turn him down.
“..that there is a natural and necessary progression, from the extreme of anarchy to the extreme of Tyranny; and that arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of Liberty abused to licentiousness.” George Washington, 1783
If the situation in the article isn’t liberty abused to the point of licentiousness, then nothing is.
She’s 36. She’s getting old enough that the Alpha-male bad boys who made her vagina tingle in her 20’s are losing interest. She is slowly realizing that no man worth having is going to have any interest in marrying a used up party girl, so she needs to change how she presents herself.
And she’s VERY late in realizing all this.
feel very sad for females like this.
_____________________
This woman has been doing exactly what she was taught with your tax dollars. Sad. Heartbreaking really, what we have done to the past few generations of women.
My son was talking about a sexually free woman he had met in a group. He shook his head, and I had to remind him that this is the way she was brought up. He said, I know Mom, but jeez!
Thus the coming flood of converts to Islam, the only moral order tolerated in Obama's America.
For us Southern girls it’s the thought of all those thank you notes which keeps us from attending such soirees.
_________________
THANK YOU!!
It’s been like this for years. Back in the 70s and 80s sex was supposed to be freewheeling and casual. It is so hard for young people with hormones and no religion to realize that we can live BETTER than rabbits. Parents need to explain to their teens that there is more to sex when it’s treated with respect, like food. But when people just shove three burgers into their mouths and spend the weekend awash in beer, they don’t appreciate food and eating very much, either. Within moral bounds, it will be much better.
It’s time for us to start considering Mars colonization. We can leave the planet and nuke these people from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
I agree about how sad this is, especially when there are so many others like here. The younger generation is taught this more and more, even while liberals put on an act when they want to of being wholesome. With the Clintons, on the one hand it’s not disputed anywhere that they have apparently an open marriage, yet the wholesome family charade is propped up by the media.
While I am conservative, I’m a Christian above all else. Christianity is from God and perfect, while conservatism isn’t. God requires Christians (and really everyone) to respond to evil in the world.
When I was in high school 25 years ago everyone knew who the “sure thing”’ girls were but the difference between them and this girl is black and white.
They had some shame and pretended not to be like this in public and would have never talked like this or wrote like this.
I’m not saying they were better but it is a stark contrast to just how far this culture has degenerated. Does this woman really think she is not a whore, because everyone she has been with thinks so.
God help her.
She has lovely hair.
We have found your next true love.
She is just screwed up enough that you will probably meet her this weekend.
while another girl took a video of herself f---ing 100 guys in an hour. This was art. This was empowerment.This is "higher education," for only $50k/year.
And they think conservatives are idiots?
Is liberty the highest good? You're confusing liberty and license. This is libertarianism or libertinism.
God gave humans free will to choose among goods, not to choose evil.
Because God gave us free will we can abuse it and choose evil. But because we are able to do something doesn't mean that we should do something, or that other people have no right to stop us from doing evil.
The reason why we tolerate evils, and the reason why toleration of some evils may be justifiable, is because the effort to suppress the evils may cause even greater evil, as in, for example, prohibition.
First of all, the picture of her, posted down at the endish of this thread, is the ONLY "good" one of her; the other pictures of her make her look like a three bagger!
She is an admitted alcoholic ( she has written a lot about being one and AA ), bipolar, a single 36 year old who used up her youth being a complete waste of space loser,is a possible nymphomaniac ( since she admits to be "sexually insatiable" ) and who LOVES Bernie Sanders. Her idea of what "feminism" is, is far worse than what any imagined "patriarchy" has been within her life existence!
This article is pathetic, sickening, and hopefully NOT representative of most people her age !
Lol!!!
“However, if we truly honor individual liberty, we would not interfere in such things as they are the good-bad choices of the individual.”
This is a libertarian point of view; not a conservative one. Destructive behavior is never JUST personal. Sin is never just personal. Evil spreads its tentacles out to the public. This kind of behavior effects more than just the individual committing the hurt thru “destructive behavior”. Anyone and everyone these two people encounter are effected in some bad way. We are all hurt just by “learning” another human was treated with “disrespect” in whatever way.
Folks, don’t get destracted by the sexual behavior aspects of this article.
She actually goes into a great amount of detail about the social behavioral conditioning and pressure (dare I say “indoctrination”?) BEHIND the sexual behavior.
Really, go back and read it again from that perspective.
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