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NSA agents 'feel violated' after hackers access their emails (People's Cube Satire)
The People's Cube ^ | 6/12/2015 | Offline Chedoh

Posted on 06/14/2015 9:47:56 AM PDT by xzins

The U.S. Cyber Command and Director of the National Security Agency, Admiral Michael Rogers, released a statement this morning informing the public of a massive security breach after a group of hackers broke into the NSA's secure network and read through a sizeable amount of personal emails, retrieved web browser history, and even recorded Skype conversations.

"Earlier today, while we were performing routine monitoring of far right-wing internet activity, we discovered a security hemorrhage of personal information of NSA agents that was put on display in multiple online forums and social media across the internet," the statement said. "It appears that a group of hackers have gained entry to our secure network, stealing sensitive information. Needless to say, many of our staff members were deeply troubled and horrified when they learned that their personal conversations, emails, and other information about their daily lives was being read by complete strangers on the Internet. This group claims to be watch dogs and whistle blowers, but make no mistake, they only wish to undermine national security."

The leak was discovered when the NSA employees' personal emails ended up going viral on social networks like Facebook and Reddit, revealing damning personal details about a number of NSA agents. The NSA statement included a complaint from the victims who "felt violated when they learned that someone they didn't know was going through their information without their consent or knowledge."

"A lot of the guys say that they are going to need to see a therapist after this, they're that upset about the invasion of their privacy," a long-time NSA agent, George Smith, told reporters. "We didn't get any work done for three days after we found out. Everyone kept tracking their leaked emails posted on social media, so they could have them deleted. Some of my colleagues' wives filed for divorce after they read their husband's email exchanges with their girlfriends. None of us knows if we'll ever feel safe using the Internet again."

Some of the leaked emails contained attachments with images of women who had their picture taken through their webcam without their knowledge. It appears that prior to the leak the images had been passed around the office, with NSA agents rating them between 1 and 10. Other leaked messages contained derogatory descriptions and jokes about countless other individuals monitored by the NSA.

The U.S. Cyber Command has asked the public to be on alert for the posting of leaked NSA emails and to report any such instances directly to their office via email. The statement contained a request to respect the privacy of NSA agents and to avoid reading any of the leaked information during this unprecedented national security crisis.


TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: nsa; privacy

1 posted on 06/14/2015 9:47:56 AM PDT by xzins
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To: All

Now that the Chinese have all of NSA’s personnel files, and especially those of employees with security clearances, it does make me wonder if the NSA is all up in arms over the hacking.


2 posted on 06/14/2015 9:48:09 AM PDT by xzins (Donate to the Freep-a-Thon or lose your ONLY voice. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: xzins

Poor nsa babies.


3 posted on 06/14/2015 9:57:10 AM PDT by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?.)
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To: xzins

Poor NSA babies. Karma Police never sleep.


4 posted on 06/14/2015 9:59:05 AM PDT by X-spurt (CRUZ missile - armed and ready.)
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To: xzins

Assuming there’s a scintilla of truth in this, I wonder if the Chinese will release The Hildabeast’s emails?


5 posted on 06/14/2015 9:59:13 AM PDT by null and void (I wish we lived in less interesting times, but at least we have front-row seats.)
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To: xzins

So, NSA employees, on a secure network, are sending each other porn?

I remember when they gave us the lecture about how many people were in Leavenworth for failing to follow proper security procedures. And here, we have people in the government security business sending porn to each other on a secure network.

National security is about as serious as things get. Why are there no firing squads for these people?

They probably all received bonuses, too.


6 posted on 06/14/2015 10:10:44 AM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: xzins
(from the article):" The NSA statement included a complaint from the victims who
"felt violated when they learned that someone they didn't know was going through their information without their consent or knowledge."

Welcome to the rest of us who feel violated !
Do as I SAY,.. not as I DO !
FUBAR !!

7 posted on 06/14/2015 10:14:06 AM PDT by Tilted Irish Kilt
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To: xzins

Any body know one (NSA agent, that is)?

Send ‘em anonymous letters with the kind of grammar mistakes that a Chinese scammer might make. No threats, just a “we know where you live” message. Have THEM looking over their shoulders and sweating over who that was driving by slowly in that tinted-windows sedan.

IOW, make them feel like a Patriot! Watched.


8 posted on 06/14/2015 10:15:00 AM PDT by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed & Ifwater the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS NOW & FOREVER!)
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To: xzins

Payback’s a beach. :-)


9 posted on 06/14/2015 10:29:16 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose o f a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

Hilton Head or Virginia?

:>)


10 posted on 06/14/2015 10:35:34 AM PDT by xzins (Donate to the Freep-a-Thon or lose your ONLY voice. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: xzins

Hilton of course. :-)


11 posted on 06/14/2015 10:36:12 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose o f a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: xzins
John Stennis must have found another way to write satire. This is outrageous:

"A lot of the guys say that they are going to need to see a therapist after this, they're that upset about the invasion of their privacy,"

12 posted on 06/14/2015 10:38:44 AM PDT by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: Zuben Elgenubi

I laughed out loud (really) at that one when I first saw it. Your reminder again brought a smile to my face. It’s really good stuff.


13 posted on 06/14/2015 10:40:26 AM PDT by xzins (Donate to the Freep-a-Thon or lose your ONLY voice. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: blueunicorn6

Satire. Dang it.


14 posted on 06/14/2015 10:51:37 AM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: null and void

feels like satire. i have no idea.


15 posted on 06/14/2015 1:53:31 PM PDT by wiggen (#JeSuisCharlie)
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To: xzins

Oh, Pookie, karma’s a b*tch, ain’t it.


16 posted on 06/14/2015 1:54:12 PM PDT by Jack Hammer
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