Posted on 03/12/2015 6:54:19 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
If you’re a man who smiles at women and makes an effort to be kind to them, you’re probably an “insidious” and “treacherous” sexist, according to a study conducted by researchers from Northeastern University in Boston.
Seriously.
After observing 27 people playing Trivial Pursuit, the researchers determined that these kind of behaviors — previously known as “chivalry” — were actually signs of what’s called “benevolent sexism.”
In other words: Men who think that women deserve to be treated well often also think that women should be treated particularly well because they’re women. This, they explain, perpetuates gender inequality. Offering your jacket to a shivering women isn’t helping her — it’s hurting her by perpetuating the patriarchal idea that a woman is more likely to be cold than you are just because she’s a woman.
Other warning signs of “benevolent sexism” include being friendly and chatty to women — which head researcher Jin Goh said is in some ways worse than being mean and/or straight up ignoring them:
“Sexism can appear very friendly and very welcoming, so in the paper we said that sexism can act like a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” Goh said, according to an article in the Washington Post. “We add that sexism can consciously or unconsciously cloak itself in friendliness, so in a way it’s more insidious and treacherous than hostile sexism.”
If you still don’t believe that “nice guys” are just sexist pigs in sheep’s clothing, check out some of their responses to questions on a test distributed by the researchers. They actually said things like “Women should be rescued from a sinking ship before men” and “A good woman should be set on a pedestal by her man.” Whoa!
See, here’s the thing — I totally do want to be rescued from a sinking ship first, and I’d immediately break up with anyone who didn’t set me on a pedestal. What’s so wrong with that?
Well, according to another one of the researchers, what’s wrong is that I actually don’t want those things for myself. I’m just too mesmerized by the tricks of benevolent sexists to realize that the chivalrous treatment I think I enjoy is actually oppressing me:
“These supposed gestures of good faith may entice women to accept the status quo in society because sexism literally looks welcoming, appealing and harmless,” researcher and professor Judith Hall said, according to an article in the Independent.
Well, Hall — you’ve got me there. Not having to drown to death on the Titanic does sound “appealing” to me. As does being asked if I want a coat when I’m shivering, especially considering the fact that it is literally scientifically true that women are more likely to feel colder than men. These are nice things; I appreciate them, and what’s really “hurting” me are articles like this that make men too reluctant to do them. (For example: I do wish a man would have helped me with my giant suitcase before it knocked me over as I was trying to drag it down the stairs by myself at a Duane Reade.)
I do agree that our society needs to view women as human beings who are just as valuable as men, and that we are in many ways not there yet — but I don’t see how lambasting both mean and nice behavior as “sexist” is going to solve anything. To suggest that I should be critical of men who listen to me when I talk is so completely backwards that it’s actually idiotic. I do appreciate these polite (and often clearly practical) “gestures of good faith” — and it’s not very feminist to tell me how I should want to be treated.
— Katherine Timpf is a reporter for National Review Online.
He should have let the first date open the door and call herself a cab home. And then opened the door the second time.
Look, I think that there are some things that go on which shouldn’t, but you aren’t going to really get away from people being nice to someone because they are pretty, that’s in the DNA.
Yes, it makes for a short shelf life. Yes, older women may have difficulties adjusting to being “invisible”. But in truth it’s just a change in life’s battle ground bringing with it new advantages, disadvantages, and a need for a change in tactics.
“..head researcher Jin Goh”
It must really suck to have no empathy.
Having the ability to actually truly love someone and care about their comforts above your own is a basic human trait.
This Jin Goh (man?-woman?) is a non-human liberal fraud that can only exist via government/taxpayer grant money.
I’m a double sexist.
I’m nice to men and women.
What a shocker! My saintly Mother, who drilled it into me to be courteous and kind to ladies, was actually teaching me to be a sexist.
If there’s such a thing as
99.44% bull feces, that feminist article is it!
Please forgive my frankness, but I can’t help wondering if any of these heifers have ever been laid real good! It strikes me that the kind of drivel they’re spewing could only come from someone who’s always been on the outside with their nose pressed against the window looking in, but never having been inside enjoying the ebb and flow that takes place between civilized ladies and gentlemen, husbands and wives.
I’m reminded of a feminist who once said dying was sexist. The reason? Men (husbands) typically die earlier and thus leave elderly wives the responsibilities of finances and otherwise and it isn’t fair.
I understand the author’s thinking, and would add that what these PC nuts from hell are messing with is evolutionary strategies which have proved successful. It’s one thing to go after some guy who makes up fifty-thousand ever-changing unofficial “rules” for the women he supervises, quite another to expect a man to not be helpful to some pretty young thing with a bunch of parcels and a baby.
RE: I’m a double sexist.
I’m nice to men and women.
_______________________________
If you’re nice to animals, what does that make you? :)
Hey, did I write this while sleeping?
No, wait. I have four kids.
So, being nice to women is sexist, being hostile to women is sexist, ignoring women is sexist, and thus treating women exactly the same way you treat men (which involves at various times being nice, being hostile and ignoring) is also sexist.
Being a simpering sot who kow-tows to feminism involves admitting being sexist and therefore is proof of being sexist.
In short, having been born with an XY chromosome pair makes one congenitally sexist, so the notion has become redundant, equivalent to the notion of “male human being” and should be ignored. Either that for people who actually care about social equality for women had better pare back the definition of “sexist” and “sexism” to only encompass actual maltreatment of women on the basis of their sex.
The author is taking issue with the findings, she thinks they are full of hooey too if you read all the way through.
And from that Jin is able discern the motivations of all men.
LOL
Like I give a flying $h1+ what these people think. These people are of the same persuasion of those who ought to be strung up for wrecking the parts of society that were civilized. . . along with the conspirator media who gives such vermin a voice.
I read this on the internets somewhere
A taxidermist?
Bump
I must be a hard core sexist:
I remove my hat when talking to a woman,
I give up my seat on the bus/street car for a woman,
I tip my hat to woman when I pass her walking on the street,
I open a door for a woman,
I don’t use strong language around women,
When I see a woman struggling to carry packages I offer to help,
I behave like a Gentleman.
Is that sexist?
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