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Harry Reid: America's Black Eye (humorous article)
conservativereview.com ^ | 1/28/15 | Jen Kuznicki

Posted on 01/28/2015 12:43:41 PM PST by cotton1706

Harry Reid seems to be feeling the pressure of losing control of his Party in the Senate, but his injury story is just about as credible as just about anything else he's said.

First, we were told he was on an exercise machine, which turned out to be a lie. Then Dick Durbin said a rubber band broke, hit Reid in the eye, gave him a concussion and sent him into some built-in cabinets, which was plausible, except that it had come from Dick Durbin. At the same time Durbin was spinning the tale, Reid's office was telling us that the exercise "equipment" broke, he hit the floor, and that's how he broke, not strained mind you, broke four ribs. We were supposed to understand somehow hidden in that explanation, that at some point, he hit his face so hard that bones near his eye broke to the point he needs surgery, and he received a concussion. This rubber band was, according to Reid, the second strongest you can get, because you know, with a bod like Reid's he's just gotta be hypertrophy training yo! Then the description of the faulty rubber band changed to "snapped" instead of broke, so I guess we were supposed to believe he either let go, hitting himself in the eye, or it came unattached from wherever it was attached, and he, spinning, pirouetted in to the cabinets, but hit the floor, breaking his ribs and by the way, he may go blind. Then the Huffington Post said that Reid's injury was brought on by a rubber band snapping and flinging him into a file cabinet.

(Excerpt) Read more at conservativereview.com ...


TOPICS: Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 01/28/2015 12:43:41 PM PST by cotton1706
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To: cotton1706

I still think Reid was thrown off his inflatable doll.


2 posted on 01/28/2015 12:47:08 PM PST by DPMD
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To: cotton1706

Never bring a rubber band to a mob @ss-kicking


3 posted on 01/28/2015 12:47:39 PM PST by digger48
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To: cotton1706

The boys were sent to have a sit down with the old creep. It didnt go well.


4 posted on 01/28/2015 12:49:39 PM PST by crz
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To: cotton1706

5 posted on 01/28/2015 12:50:17 PM PST by Slyfox (To put on the mind of George Washington read ALL of Deuteronomy 28, then read his Farewell Address)
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To: cotton1706

I wonder which crew did the job...


6 posted on 01/28/2015 12:50:27 PM PST by crz
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To: cotton1706

Remember your days as a “bagman” Hairy?

They’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


7 posted on 01/28/2015 12:51:04 PM PST by stephenjohnbanker (My Batting Average( 1,000) (GOPe is that easy to read))
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To: DPMD

I have a theory. Reid was at a brothel and after a particularly raucous 5 minutes with a new ho, refused to pay for services. Declaring he was a US Senator didnt matter to ElJay Cielo, the hookers pimp who proceeded to b*tch slap poor Harry until he forked over the chedda.

Neither ho nor pimp was available for comment.


8 posted on 01/28/2015 12:52:57 PM PST by EQAndyBuzz (Islam is the military wing of the Communist party.)
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To: cotton1706

9 posted on 01/28/2015 12:54:25 PM PST by Talisker (One who commands, must obey.)
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To: cotton1706

My honest opinion says he tried picking up the wrong 14 yr old boy.


10 posted on 01/28/2015 12:55:16 PM PST by eyeamok
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To: cotton1706

He’s a skid mark on the Jockey shorts of the Nation!


11 posted on 01/28/2015 12:58:11 PM PST by JaguarXKE (1973: Reporters investigate All the President's Men. 2013: Reporters ARE all the President's men d)
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To: cotton1706

The PUNdits are all asking, how the hell could they get close to the man if he has round the clock protection? Thats easy. The boys show up, tell the bodyguards to take a hike or else, and the smack down happens.
The bodyguards all get a REward for their time off and nobody says anything, especially Harry Reid because he doesnt want it out his ties to the mob...as if thats a secrete now days.


12 posted on 01/28/2015 12:58:25 PM PST by crz
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To: EQAndyBuzz

The way I heard it, she crossed her legs and broke his glasses, then he fell down the stairs on the way out.


13 posted on 01/28/2015 12:58:25 PM PST by haroldeveryman (t)
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To: cotton1706

He was in the bathroom with an exercise band attached to a shower door, it snapped, and he went flying back into his bathroom file cabinets, breaking his eye socket, bounced off, went through a rock crusher that broke three ribs, and landed in a boxing ring with Mike Tyson.


14 posted on 01/28/2015 12:58:26 PM PST by SpaceBar
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To: digger48

“Never bring a rubber band to a mob @ss-kicking”

Hilarious.


15 posted on 01/28/2015 1:02:02 PM PST by SharpRightTurn (White, black, and red all over--deputy secretaryAmerica's affirmative action, metrosexual president.)
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To: SpaceBar

Harry Reid’s injuries are consistent with a beating from a baseball bat, Goodfellas style.


16 posted on 01/28/2015 1:04:38 PM PST by ez (RIP America 1776-2014. Long live the oligarchy.)
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To: cotton1706

Reid got tuned up. All those shady land deals and money from nothing came with a price. It wasn’t nothing after all.


17 posted on 01/28/2015 1:16:53 PM PST by pallis (I like white people)
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To: digger48
First I've heard of the rubber band thing. I don't follow Reid beyond the initial report.

I remember latex tubing on sling shots.

Perhaps the rubber band was actually latex tubing hooked up to a bottle of NO2, and Reid held on while falling back, and tube slipped off the tank?

18 posted on 01/28/2015 1:24:09 PM PST by Calvin Locke
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To: cotton1706

19 posted on 01/28/2015 6:09:58 PM PST by Rodamala
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To: cotton1706

The article was fun to read, but in the end, I don’t give a hoot how it happened — I am just glad that it did.

I look forward to hearing about his broken hip. I just hope that when this pile of evil crap finally kicks the bucket, it doesn’t screw up three entire days of television scheduling.


20 posted on 01/28/2015 7:44:21 PM PST by Gator113 (Cruz, Lee, and Sessions speak for me.... most anyone else is just noise.)
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