I want to marry my pet duck. Do you think SCOTUS will allow that?
Easy there...
You don’t just marry your duck....
First you have to visit a therapist to find out if you self-identify as a duck, then you need to take an inventory of all the micro-aggression you have endured due to you duckieness, run numerous media campaigns about duck-love... and that’s just the opening moves. The visible ones at least, I haven’t even got into the networking and background discussions about how talking about ducks can serve the greater good (read liberalism)