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For Thanksgiving - Pass the Civility
Townhall.com ^ | November 24, 2014 | Tom Purcell

Posted on 11/24/2014 4:03:13 PM PST by Kaslin

It's bound to happen at Thanksgiving tables across America: A progressive liberal Democrat discovers he's sitting next to a conservative Republican.

There's no need for mashed potatoes to fly.

Harry Stein, an author, columnist and contributing editor to the political magazine City Journal, offers advice on how to navigate the situation.

Stein, an erstwhile '60's radical who evolved into a conservative, faced a similar dilemma at a dinner party a few years ago.

When the guest next to him discovered his conservative/libertarian thinking, the fellow said loudly, "I can't believe I'm sitting next to a Republican!"

"It was," says Stein, "as if I was wearing not only a white hood, but a Nazi armband."

So accustomed had Stein become to such broadsides -- common experiences for conservatives living in progressive bastions -- he wrote a humorous book on the subject: "I Can't Believe I'm Sitting Next to a Republican: A Survival Guide for Conservatives Marooned Among the Angry, Smug, and Terminally Self-Righteous."

So what to do when bipolar political philosophies are seated next to each other at the Thanksgiving table?

Make a concerted effort to get beyond "straw man" stereotypes.

"In theory, liberalism is predicated on openness to varied perspectives, but talk to lots of liberals and what you'll hear is that all conservatives are greedy, hardhearted knuckle draggers," says Stein. "To them, 'conservative' is another way of saying 'warmongering,' 'racist,' 'homophobic,' not to mention 'aching to wipe out every last polar bear for the sake of Big Oil.'"

Who wouldn't loathe a fellow with beliefs like that?

The truth is conservatives, just as liberals, come in all shapes and sizes; many are as nuanced, complex and thoughtful as anybody else.

The truth is progressives and conservatives agree with each other more than they are aware.

"Discovering the common ground can only occur when discussions proceed in a logical and factual manner," says Stein. "If you want to argue a point and demonstrate the truthfulness of your position, be sure to have your facts straight."

Stein gave one example pertaining to the health care debate.

"Some progressives believe that conservatives are simply dupes of the insurance industry stampeded by phony propaganda, and, yes, that we are racists," he says. "The fact is, it's a lot easier to name-call than deal with our arguments, starting with the likelihood that not only will a government takeover of health care have devastating effects on the economy, but it will not be good for health care."

Another example: Some progressives believe that conservatives could not care less about the poor.

"What we believe is that conservative polices, such as tax incentives to hire, are a great deal more beneficial to the poor than the polices that came out of the Great Society," says Stein. "Such policies encouraged women to raise children without fathers. Today, in some communities, 70 percent of children are born to single mothers."

Stein used to think it best to avoid such discussions at the Thanksgiving table, but his position has changed over the years.

"We are facing a lot of challenges in our country and we really need to discuss them in a civil and thoughtful manner."

Still, if you're a conservative and fearful of being discovered, Stein says, you may want to plan ahead.

"You might want to sit beside a large liberal behind whom you can duck in case the mashed potatoes fly."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: civility; holidays; thanksgiving
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To: Billthedrill

I get this line a lot when having a “discussion” with a Liberal.

“Well, those are YOUR facts”. LOL


21 posted on 11/24/2014 5:42:35 PM PST by Kickass Conservative (If you thought the Mulatto Marxist was bad, wait until the Menopausal Marxist is Elected.)
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To: Blue Jays
My non-scientific review of social media and studying what my friends and acquaintances post...my Conservative friends display far more good manners and courtesy than my Liberal friends.

Liberal friends? Oxymoron.

22 posted on 11/24/2014 5:53:19 PM PST by USS Alaska (Exterminate the terrorist savages, everywhere.)
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To: Kaslin

Because of Hollywood movies, many Europeans feel that Americans come in one of two types: either cowboys or gangsters. Oddly enough, there is some truth to that stereotype.

If you think about the lives of cowboys and gangsters, you see how very much conservatives are like cowboys and liberals behave like gangsters.

Cowboys believe in self-reliance, hard work earns rewards, honesty is the best policy, and that the measure of a man or woman is found in their character. Their view of government is a gentleman’s agreement for mutual benefit.

The gangster way is always an “us vs them” relationship between our gang and other gangs. Their purpose of government is simplistic, to reward their friends and punish their enemies. Everything the gang does is at the direction, and for the benefit, of the capo, or great leader. In turn, he trickles down rewards to his top lieutenants, who reward their subordinates, etc.

But this is all background. Now imagine a dinner table at which is a cowboy and a gangster. The cowboy does not trust the gangster, because he sees that the gangster lacks character. The gangster sees the cowboy as “not of the family”, so he is an outsider, by default an enemy.

But because of his upbringing, the cowboy extends common courtesy to the gangster. The benefit of the doubt. But the gangster wants nothing to do with it, because he sees the cowboy as an enemy, who should get nothing but punishment.

The gangster tends to act out of the seven deadly sins: pride, wrath, greed, gluttony, lust, sloth and envy. Thus he really despises the cowboy, because he doesn’t embrace all of those and all at once.

The gangster is nothing but flaws, but the cowboy’s flaw is that he hopes that if he is diplomatic enough the gangster will behave himself. And this is the gist of the article, the hope that “common ground” can be reached between to people whose very substance is diametrically opposed.

The cowboy is as likely to get a reasonable response from a rabid dog. It’s a pity, thinks the cowboy, because I like dogs. But it’s a waste of time to think that a rabid dog will ever be anything but what it is. The same with liberals.


23 posted on 11/24/2014 6:12:00 PM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy ("Don't compare me to the almighty, compare me to the alternative." -Obama, 09-24-11)
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To: Arthur McGowan

I enjoy shutting them down when they make their little proclamations.


24 posted on 11/24/2014 6:47:11 PM PST by Nuc 1.1 (Nuc 1 Liberals aren't Patriots. Remember 1789!)
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To: Kickass Conservative

Like that. Will use it when I get a chance.


25 posted on 11/24/2014 6:51:00 PM PST by Nuc 1.1 (Nuc 1 Liberals aren't Patriots. Remember 1789!)
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To: Biggirl
This is why the rules of not talking about politics or religion have to be enforced.

Really? That’s an anti-scriptural position, no? The Bible actually says to do the exact opposite (with respect to matters of faith at least) and gives a rationale for doing so…… 2 Timothy 4:1. I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; 2. Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine. 3. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;

26 posted on 11/24/2014 7:16:54 PM PST by hecticskeptic (In life it's important to know what you believeÂ….but more more importantly, why you believe it.)
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To: Nuc 1.1

The truth hurts.

In fact, it’s the one thing we Conservatives have in common with Liberals.


27 posted on 11/24/2014 7:51:17 PM PST by Kickass Conservative (If you thought the Mulatto Marxist was bad, wait until the Menopausal Marxist is Elected.)
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To: hecticskeptic

But there does come a point when you realize that you are casting pearls before swine and it is time to shake the dust from your sandals and move on.


28 posted on 11/24/2014 8:36:45 PM PST by SVTCobra03 (You can never have enough friends, horsepower or ammunition.)
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To: Kaslin

We don’t invite Democrats for Thanksgiving.


29 posted on 11/24/2014 9:59:52 PM PST by kaehurowing
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To: Iron Munro

“Stay the Course!” —Barack Obama to Ferguson riot organizers, 11/6/14


30 posted on 11/24/2014 10:01:55 PM PST by kaehurowing
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy

I read a book once about a time to come when there would be a strong delusion...


31 posted on 11/25/2014 12:24:03 AM PST by wastoute (Government cannot redistribute wealth. Government can only redistribute poverty.)
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To: All
Here's a couple jokes that'll shut down the Prog/Lib blathering.

<><> Mrs Gruber bought a fancy new nightgown to celebrate their wedding anniversary. When she put it on, Gruber griped about the "lack of transparency."

<><> Mrs Gruber confided to her BFF that to get Jonathan in a romantic mood, she coos in his ear. When she whispers "stupid Americans," Jonathan gets so aroused, he delivers wild, uninhibited sex.

<><> Spicing up your sex life by cooing "Stupid Americans" is the number one sex aid in Progressive circles---so much so that Viagra sales are (cough) down---since Progressives are the (cough) biggest users of Viagra.

32 posted on 11/25/2014 3:41:28 AM PST by Liz
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To: All

liberals must be told they are leftists. They should not be allowed to hide behind “classical liberalism” or any semblance of reason.

They have abdicated all reason with the Obama administration, obamacare, reid, the entire democrat party, endorsement of hedonism as equal to marriage, and the collapse of the ivory tower.


33 posted on 11/25/2014 9:03:36 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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