Posted on 09/24/2014 6:17:26 AM PDT by walford
Hannah Graham is straight-A, a second year University of Virginia student who has been missing since September 13th,2014.
Typically, at this stage of the game it isn’t looking good for Hannah. Her parents, as you can imagine, are beyond crushed.
As of yesterday, the police have issued a search warrant for Jesse Matthew, who cops think was the last person to see Hannah Graham before she vanished.
Last weekend Mr. & Mrs. Graham held a press conference thanking law enforcement and volunteers for their search efforts and letting folks know that this is a ‘parents worse nightmare’ and that ‘it could happen’ to others as well.
In 2011 I wrote a book titled, ‘Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls’ which addressed our violent environment and how parents, in particular the dad, should raise their daughters to avoid being the victim of some murderous moron.
As I read the account of Hannah’s activities, prior to her becoming a missing person, I was grieved to learn how avoidable this was had she followed three simple common sense rules that I lined out in my parenting book.
For instance:
1. Don’t go out alone. All of the surveillance video that I saw of her activities on September 12th show her alone. Good-looking girls, wearing midriffs, should not be walking the streets alone late at night. Too many idiots out there.
2. Definitely don’t drink alone. According to reports she was intoxicated. Girls, if you’re going to drink then bring a posse with you who’ll watch your back and won’t let you get wasted, molested, abducted or murdered. Always have a sidekick ladies. Preferably one who’s a badass.
3. Another thing that I have taught my daughters growing up: nothing good happens after midnight. Don’t forget that, ladies.
In addition to not going out and drinking alone, Dad, make certain that your daughter:
1. Knows martial arts. I don’t know if Hannah knows/knew how to fight, but ladies, you should. Enroll in martial arts today. Learn how to fight, muy pronto.
2. Is armed and dangerous. Given that Hannah was 18-years-old, she was disallowed to carry a firearm on her person because of our lame laws. However, she was not forbidden to carry a stun gun, mace or a Buford Pusser-size baseball bat. Check your local laws, get training and always … always … be armed.
Fathers, simple situational awareness and common sense, non-negotiable, guidelines could keep your kid alive and well.
All we can do now for Hannah is hope and pray the police find her alive. We, however, can use this tragedy to equip our kids to not be the carnage of some murderous mook.
In my world, the good girl should live and the bad guy should die.
I have been to the open mall at UVA where she was last seen and there is a criminal element who lurks there. As pretty and clean most college campuses are, there are still cracks and crevices people can hide. I recall someone being robbed at gunpoint in the parking garage of my alma mater George Mason.
College coeds are vulnerable and considered prey by some; they should always be mindful of that. Always.
The rest of us should be mindful that beautiful young women exist in a completely different world than the rest of us because they attract attention that everyone else does not.
Just because a young woman didn't do actually anything to offend someone doesn't mean she is safe. There are people out there who will become infuriated at how a young woman's beauty makes them feel and lash out at innocents simply for that.
There is no need to go around in fear, but being wary is necessary in this increasingly uncivilized world.
I think if she wasn’t so drunk sh would have been able to make better choices.
Sadly, now we’re looking for her body.
in large letters on the first page. Then it proceeds to list the dangers.
#3. Watch out for Black males.
History has shown them to be especially dangerous, to everyone around them, Black or White.
If she has been murdered, odds are great it will be by the hands of a Black male.
Universities seem to encourage poor choices.
I live down the road from University of Michigan and after a string of rapes the local police chief made the common sense comment that students (especially female) should not get blackout drunk and not wander the streets alone at all hours of the night. Naturally it was met with screeches of “Misogyny!” and a string of slut walks.
I saw an interview with a couple of female college students in Kalamazoo about guns on campus. The little geniuses said they don’t want guns on campus because they’re out and about till all hours of the night and they’ve never felt unsafe.
Well, the perp is a black male. Surely you know.
Furthermore, he’s a dead ringer for the sketch of the man who killed the girl in that area when she walked home from the Metallica concert.
Young girls need to realize they live in a dangerous world. I know they believe they should have the right to dress and act in any manner they wish without fear, but that would be in a perfect world.
Young women I’ve worked with believe what they see in the movies is real. A little martial arts gives some of them more confidence than warranted. A six foot or over, two hundred plus man is not going to be deterred if he’s determined. I’ve worked in mental health and been thrown across a room by a male mental patient in a frenzy.
~And I know how to protect myself.
The young women have to wake up and take more care with situational awareness. It isn’t utopia out here. The majority are good people but,
it just takes one evil person and I hope they find this creature soon before he kills another. It makes me wonder about the other women who went missing around Charlottesville and were not found.
God bless Hannah and her family.
I’ve been watching this story since it began on my local news (I’m in central Virginia).
I haven’t said anything until now, because I figured it would be construed as “blaming the victim.” But these girls must learn that if you’re going to put on a top that’s little more than a bra, with your midriff/belly and the tops of your hips exposed, and go out alone at one in the morning, especially in questionable neighborhoods, bad things are likely to happen. Why are parents not teaching this?
The perp is to blame for his own crime, but the fact remains that putting all that skin on display is waving a flag to the predators lying in wait.
Yes, young people think they are very smart and invincible.
“...these girls must learn that if you’re going to put on a top that’s little more than a bra, with your midriff/belly and the tops of your hips exposed...”
Young women who dress modestly should not think they are safe to go out alone either. That is more important than mode of dress.
I think it goes way farther than that. Kids are taught these days to “coexist” and “not be judgemental”. It’s all BS and unfortunately this girl is likely dead as a result of that programming. I also blame the C’ville police as they are not competent and the “liberal” town attracts these scumbags. I can spot them from a mile away in the downtown mall having much experience from Philly, NYC, and Iraq, etc. The cops can run these scumbags out of town, esp. the dirtbags standing at redlights pretending to be “homeless”. Unfortunately the “liberals” will blame it on George Bush or some sh-t...it’s really sad.
Study martial arts and 18 year old chicks taking a pistol in their little purse when they are dressed in little clothing to go out drinking and partying.
Pretty stupid advice if you think about it.
Teen girls need to know what not to do to become victims, and instructing them to adopt a lifestyle of studying hand to hand combat is unrealistic or else we would all be living the life of warrior.
It’s easy for someone to say, “you don’t like to fight? Aren’t serious about staying out of trouble at night? Well just commit to studying fighting for a few years like a Ninja.......easy words to say, why not just tell poor people to save their money, or lazy people to take up jogging.
As far as the pistol for a teen girl that likes to go out and get drunk while half dressed and partying out, how many lost pistols would she go through in a year, and drunken teen partying might not be the best situation for them all to be carrying in.
I live right in the area, and there’s a firestorm here surrounding this case, and sides have been taken. I would not be surprised at all to see Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton show up if they catch up with this guy. The race card came out of the deck the moment a white witness ID’d Jesse Matthew. UVA is surrounded by ghetto and you don’t have to walk much more than a block from grounds to end up in a bad neighborhood.
There are trends that don't involve showing a lot of skin. They're not asking to be abducted or raped, certainly, but if they want to put so much skin on display, they're likely to get attention, some of it unwanted. This is common sense, and their parents should be drilling it into them.
"Young women who dress modestly should not think they are safe to go out alone either. That is more important than mode of dress."
IMO, they're about equally important. When I was single, going out with friends at night, I never walked to my car alone. I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing so. If I had been dressed like some girls today, I would have been even less comfortable.
Couldn’t agree more with you.. Jesse Matthew was a former football player and coached at a local private school as well. He’s a BIG DUDE.
That is true, no matter how well trained or heavily armed a young woman is, she still cannot think she can go out drinking alone under any circumstance.
It is a sad fact.
It is better to offend a young woman by telling her these things — and setting boundaries when she’s a minor — than to leave her vulnerable in her ignorance, saying nothing and hoping a vicious world that sees her as prey will be kind.
not the first time at UVA... sadly...
I agree completely.
" I also blame the C’ville police as they are not competent and the “liberal” town attracts these scumbags."
I don't know what the deal is with that police chief. The first time he spoke out, he was yelling and waving his arms...he seemed way out of his element. Last night he was extremely subdued; evidently someone advised him to calm down.
" I can spot them from a mile away in the downtown mall having much experience from Philly, NYC, and Iraq, etc. The cops can run these scumbags out of town, esp. the dirtbags standing at redlights pretending to be “homeless”. Unfortunately the “liberals” will blame it on George Bush or some sh-t...it’s really sad."
It's funny you mention the homeless. Tucker Carlson said he's been to Charlottesville many times, and the city has the most aggressive homeless people he's ever seen. He said they will get right up in your face and demand money. And the cops allow it.
I’ve taught a couple of woman’s self-defense classes that included showing all the right places to hit and the nasty things to do, but I couldn’t stress enough to those classes that if you find yourself in the position of having to physically defend oneself, you have already made some very bad mistakes. The attacker has all the advantages, they know what they are going to do, are already adrenalized, and they pick the time and place.
You need to start thinking like a predator and employing countermeasures such as the one discussed in the article to avoid becoming prey. The best defense is the kind of common sense provided in this article, to which I would add: 1) don’t walk with your attention on that damn smartphone! When I see that, I see victim. Keep your head up and keep alert; and 2) trust your instincts and don’t be afraid of offending someone if you feel threatened, including shouting “No!” and “Get away from me!” repeatedly. A person who means you no harm will back off and you can always apologize later if you find yourself in a position to do so.
Regarding traditional martial arts, most are not geared for the nasty, brutish, in-close fighting that real self-defense is. If your main concern is to quickly learn effective self-defense, find a model-mugging course and take that a couple of times to learn the three or four really effective attacks that are not allowed to be used in sport-karate.
I would also add, NEVER let the attacker take you somewhere else, this can mean only one thing, a protracted torture (I consider rape torture) and probable death. There is always a danger in making it physical (assuming he already hasn’t) but the trigger point of going physical must be the attempt to kidnap. Women need to understand that now and make up their minds now about what they will do before they are in such a situation so that there is no hesitation, only commitment. Decide now to run if you can, get noisy and get violent if you can’t. Take your chances at that spot, not in the place he wants to take you, and pray that God will protect and assist you.
I highly recommend watching this show. It takes real-life situations, assesses what actually happened and alternatives with and without firearms that would have given the potential victims a better chance of surviving:
http://outdoorchannel.com/the-best-defense
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.