Posted on 07/28/2014 12:47:16 PM PDT by wagglebee
Stand True recently published a story about a mom telling her children about her past abortion. Today we are sharing that story from one of her daughters about the day she found out. Zoe had been working on this story to e-mail to her mom when her mother walked in and told her to clean her room, that is when Zoe clicked send.
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We had just dropped my brother and sisters off at Faith Formation. It was a Wednesday evening: January 8, 2014. I would be 13 in just over two weeks.
My mom said, “Zoe, I need to talk to you. Let’s go in the meeting room.” I thought we were going to talk about puberty. I got nervous and fidgety. “Mama,” I kept saying, “I’m not ready for this talk. I don’t want to know about it.” We got to the conference room and Mama sat down. I sat a few chairs away. “Sit here please, Zoe,” she said. “I don’t want to,” I whined. “Zoe,” she said firmly, “sit next to me.” I reluctantly sat down next to her, dreading what she had to say. What she said next would change my life forever. “Zoe,” she said, “in December of 1998, I had an abortion.” I felt like I had been slapped in the face. My whole world was rocked. I wanted to puke, I wanted to cry, I wanted to run away and hide. This amazing person, someone I have looked up to my whole life, my pro-life inspiration, had had an abortion.
I stared at the glassy table where we were sitting. Mama was crying now. She told me how her boyfriend at the time had had a pregnant girlfriend before and how he said that he would “take care of it”. She told me how she had woken up after the abortion and thought how lucky she was to have such a great boyfriend. She told me she had gone crazy in the days after the abortion. She explained everything.
“Do you have any questions?” she asked. “No,” I said. “Do you forgive me?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “Your big brother’s name is David,” she said. Big brother. For years I had been saying, “I wish I had an older brother or sister!” Now I knew that I had one. We sat in silence for a while. Mama called Fr. Rossi, our parish priest, and he joined us in our little meeting.
This was when I learned that a lot of people had heard her testimony before. He told us that now would be a great time to visit Jesus in Adoration. I was so thankful it was Wednesday! We went into Adoration and prayed. We prayed and prayed and prayed. I’m not sure what Mama prayed about, but I prayed for understanding about what had just happened. I prayed a Rosary for David, that he was in Heaven praising God.
That night, when everyone was at home, my mom was on her computer. She had just let me read her testimony, which had been published online. Jackson, my 7-year-old brother, saw the picture of Mama holding a sign that said, “I regret my abortion”. “Wait,” he said, “you had an abortion?” Mama’s face paled. “Yes,” she said. Then, returning to his homework, he asked, “How do you spell ‘Guido’?” Mama went along with it. “G-U-I-D-O”, she said. “I’m done with my homework!” Jack said, and he rushed upstairs. Later that night, Lily and Bella, my two sisters, were downstairs. Jack came downstairs and said, “Hey! Did you guys know Mama had an abortion?” “No she didn’t,” Lily said, “she just got her tubes tied!”
She turned to Mama. “Wait,” she said slowly, “did you have an abortion?” Mama then started to have the same conversation with them she had had with me earlier. Jack started crying and ran upstairs. Lily and Bella were tearing up, too, but they listened to Mama’s story. I followed Jackson upstairs. I found him in bed, his head buried in his pillows, crying. I sat next to him, held him, tried to comfort him. Mama came in and took over for me.
The five of us were all in one place, everyone crying except for me. We prayed a little together, and then we went to bed. I was shaken for the next few days. I will never forget that experience, but I am kind of glad it happened. I have taken the pro-life movement even more seriously than before.
I want to be able to say I avenged my big brother David by abolishing abortion, and I am confident that I am part of the generation that will do that.
This is what I was doing when you told me to clean my room.
Zoe
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We know how much abortion hurts men and women but we don’t often think of the sibling effect of abortion. I remember many years ago, a young woman approached my booth at a music festival. She explained how she had bought a pro-life t-shirt from me the year before and wore it home from the festival. When her mom saw the shirt, she decided to tell her daughter that she had had an abortion many years ago. They were able to seek counseling and the mother found healing as did her daughter. She thanked me for the work we were doing and bought another t-shirt.
There are some amazing resources for anyone who is hurting from abortion.
Amen!
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This is what I was doing when you told me to clean my room.
Any excuse not to clean the room.
Seriously, though, God bless here and her family.
I wonder how many young adults are living with a mother who disposed of their unborn brother or sister? I suspect the number may be in the millions...
Such an inspiring story! It reminds us that we should always forgive another for genuinely recognizing a wrong. Zoe was very spiritually mature for doing so.
It’s also important to realize that forgiveness should only be extended to those who can unequivocally say, “I was wrong, and will never do [that action] again.” I’ve known several awful liberals in the past who beg for forgiveness for their abortions, only to go right back and get another one. I’ve seen people beg for forgiveness as a means of manipulation far too often.
There is another thought which should be considered. From a legal perspective, having/performing an abortion should be a capital crime. Would Zoe’s mother still have sought out her 1998 abortion even if it were to be severely punished? Fear of a punishment can be the only thing keeping one from getting an abortion, and I think a lot of women would be grateful if the power of the law convinced them not to have an abortion.
LOL!
Heart breaking story -- but as you said, God bless her and her family -- and may He provide healing.
May God bless her efforts! I know of two people whose mother admitted to having their twin aborted. One is my age, and his mother did not regret it. The other was nine when he found out; his mother was rather proud of it. Both knew that the intent was to kill each of them, and only the incompetence of the abortionist, and their mother’s reluctance to go through the physical pain again, allowed them to live.
My ex-wife had an abortion and my(our) two daughters don’t know and I’m not sure if I will ever tell them. I know my ex won’t. I really wrestle with that. Perhaps, when they’re older(15 and almost 13 now), I will ask their mom to share it with them.
Two people, maybe three, were involved in abortion. I pray for them. One has passed. I know it affected her entire life and in her last weeks, she “confessed” to me. I hope it gave her peace. Another decades ago - I know it has haunted her. Finally a man I know and am close to. Again decades ago but I think about this child who might now be 45 and I pray for him/her and for that father. He loves the two sons he has so much. I wonder if he ever thinks about that other child.
The single most devout, respectable, loving Christian woman I’ve ever known came to be that way because of her abortion.
When she told me about it, there was anger (because she’d been lied to), but no guilt. She honestly believed that she’d been forgiven all sins.
But she was still furious that the lies allowed her to sin. “It’s just a clump of cells” at eighteen weeks left her haunted with the vision of a tiny arm floating in a jar.
I don’t know if it’s right or not, but I’ve sometimes wondered if that tiny soul sacrificed himself to bring about his mother’s testimony. She was one of the most joyful, powerful, loving women that I’ve ever known. She had five children with her husband and the two of them took such delight in those babies.
Her husband became critically, chronically ill while we were friends and her faith has been an inspiration to me to this day.
She wouldn’t have been this devout, wonderful human being without the sin. I wouldn’t be the woman I am now without her.
Sometimes the most vehement pro-life advocates are the ones who’ve been there.
A very inspiring story indeed. I always admire those women I see holding signs that read "I regret my abortion."
And there are many people who have never had one but perhaps supported it because they never really thought about it and supporting it was the cool thing to do and once the teaching of the Church on sexual and life issues was weakened after Vatican II, they had no guide. I know a lot of those people who really regret it now and are very repentant.
That may be a comforting thought, but unborn babies have no power to sacrifice themselves. They are totally innocent victims when their mothers choose, or in some circumstances are forced, to abort them.
Pro-abortion advocates would like to paint the picture of the pro-life movement being filled with white men who only want to control women's lives. But the reality is that the pro-life community is filled with women and men of all varieties, many of whom came to their opposition to abortion from painful personal experience. After choosing to abort their babies, many people become more hardened in their souls in order to justify their choice. Others turn to God for forgiveness and healing. Your friend was one of the latter.
So who is living with the guilt, you or your ex-wife? Evidently it's not her........
The answer is so simple............
As a post script, having given it more thought, I would highly recommend you tell your daughters of their mother's previous abortion. To them, abortion is just a word that is not given any thought to at their age.
By informing them that a brother or sister had been murdered before the child was even born my have a postive effect on their lives in regard to the sanctity of life for all and especially the unborn.........
And if she says "no," then leave it be.
So who is living with the guilt, you or your ex-wife? Evidently it's not her........
How do you know? How do you know what she lives with day by day?
The answer is so simple............
Go ahead, push her over the edge; it'll be so much fun watching her fall.
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