I received a letter stating I was being audited by the IRS. I said I lost most of my receipts on my hard drive from 2012 - 2014. They said I need to find them. I said the rest of them were in my gun case but that was stolen and the ATF believes it’s in Mexico. They said I need to find them. I said What difference does it make? They said I could go to jail. I said they’d have to catch me so I figured I’d get arrested so I headed to San Diego but made a wrong turn and I ended up in Mexico. I was thrown in prison but was released because I said I was looking for my illegitimate son to take back to the US. I thought ICE agents would arrest me because I grabbed a kid on my way back in. ICE turned me over to DHS and I received shelter, food and gave me money for a free transgender operation for the kid. I didn’t let the kid get the operation but kept the money. I gave the kid to another kid who had an uncle in the White House. DHS flew me to Virginia and I now have a new Identity and the IRS says I don’t have to pay my taxes because I’m undocumented so they gave me a job. I was hired as an IT specialist but stole IRS secrets and ran away to become a Jihadist and sold my secrets to Russia. I learned how to speak Pashtun and blended in well but wanted to come back to America. I called my Mom and Dad and they called some guy that lives in a white house and they traded me for some friends of mine in Gitmo which I believe ius an all inclusive club. I got to fly back to the states for big reception in my new home town.
Life is good I have nothing to vent about.
What difference does it make?
Please call your mom and tell her that she raised a brilliant child!
I’m off to have your comment tattooed on my index finger.