The dog did it!
Posted on 04/04/2014 7:27:32 PM PDT by Second Amendment First
Who has been defecating on children's slides in Ypsilanti’s Prospect Park for the past five to six months?
Ypsilanti police and city officials are hunting for the person officials have described as the “mystery pooper” as warmer weather approaches.
Officials have discovered feces on the slides so frequently that police installed a hidden camera to try to capture an image of the act.
Council Member Pete Murdock, who is also the head of the Friends of Prospect Park, described the act as “weird and deliberate.” He said he first received a call about the issue more than five months ago and the culprit struck as recently as early March.
Department of Public Works employees are supposed to be checking the slides daily and cleaning up any human waste, Murdock said, and the suspect appears to be using the slide only at night.
In January, Ypsilanti police Chief Tony DeGiusti sent a communication out to YPD officers about the incidents.
“We have a problem in Prospect Park with a miscreant that does not understand the difference between a children’s playground slide and a toilet,” the email stated. “Apparently this extremely misguided individual feels the need to defecate on the slide despite the cold weather. This has been an ongoing problem at this location. Please make frequent checks in the area and record them on your daily log.”
DeGiusti did not return calls from The Ann Arbor News and City Manager Ralph Lange declined to comment.
“We most definitely need to get this under control before school (recess) and park season starts,” Murdock said. “It’s hard to deal with because it’s so unbelievable to begin with. When somebody called me and told me what happened I said ‘What? You gotta be kidding me!”
Murdock said the Friends of the Prospect Park may stake out the park as temperatures warm and the nights grow shorter.
He said he has encouraged staff and residents to contact him every time defecation is discovered so he can determine if there’s a pattern in regards to a schedule.
“We need to get him or her and get them the help they need,” Murdock said.
Martin Bashir?
"Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha"
Suspect is believed to like corn.
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*snicker*
Maybe a police insider's job. Heh...........
Hmmm, it looks like the “phantom $#!tt3r” from Navy lore....
Now, as to this matter of the “Phantom Sh!++er” ...
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It's always the butler, until it's not the butler.
You could be right, I smell something fishy about this Butt-ler.
Real fishy....check with pizza parlors in the area; see who orders the anchovies.
Careful, suspect may be armed, or something...........
I had a friggin’ eagle sh** on my car window this morning.
"I'm here to tell you buttholes something, this s--- is wayyyyy out of line!"
Doggie bag gone wild..........
Thank God he’s not a streaker.
Does the park charge a feces to get in?
The butt-ler on the slide with the fecal matter for $300, Alex.
And may I mention that this is all society’s fault.
That actually comes from an episode of Bob’s Burgers where someone is pooping in the school.
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And, any hamburger not cooked to 160 degrees will give you a slider you will not soon forget.
If you eat the burger undercooked, make sure you have plenty of Charmin around the house.
Plenty!
It was red, white, and blue?
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