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Space Aliens Admit Kidnapping Hollywood (Leftist) Celebrities
People's Cube ^ | 9-6-13 | OfflineR.O.C.K. in the USSA

Posted on 09/06/2013 5:33:26 PM PDT by tcrlaf

Dateline Hollywood -

In a carefully worded press release today in Hollywood, California, space aliens admitted that they abducted several Hollywood celebrities on January 21st of this year.

Among the missing are the following, whose only appearances in public since January 21 have apparently been holograms:

Sheryl Crow, Bruce Springsteen, Martin Sheen, Ed Asner, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, George Clooney, Jackson Browne, Janeane Garofalo, Neil Young, Jessica Lange, Barbra Streisand, Danny Glover, and Susan Sarandon.

While many have wondered during the last several days why there has been no outcry of anti-war sentiment from these previously very vocal crusaders for peace, the truth is now known. The space aliens declined to address whether some or all of the kidnapped stars had been anally probed, and they stated that they wouldn't be letting them go for quite some time.

"At least now we know now why our brave brothers and sisters for peace have been silent during this wag the dog Syrian crisis", stated a member of the press who attend the briefing.

Neil Young's publicist, who was also present, stated that there is no truth to the rumor that Neil is working on a song including the lyrics "four dead in Benghazi":

"First of all, it just doesn't have that Kent State cadence that Neil's earlier song did, and what difference, at this point, does it make anyway? Besides, we haven't seen the real Neil since January, and holograms pretty much suck at acoustic guitar."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: answer; antiwar; hollywood; hollywoodhypocrites; hypocrites; obama; pacifists; war

1 posted on 09/06/2013 5:33:27 PM PDT by tcrlaf
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To: tcrlaf

Maybe is was just Illegal Aliens.


2 posted on 09/06/2013 5:36:57 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: tcrlaf
Explains it all. They are getting their Alien anal probes, and likely enjoying it.
3 posted on 09/06/2013 5:37:25 PM PDT by ASA Vet (Don't assume Shahanshah Obama will allow another election.)
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To: ASA Vet

Take more.

Please!


4 posted on 09/06/2013 5:42:30 PM PDT by foundedonpurpose (It's time for a fundamental restoration, of our country's principles!)
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To: tcrlaf

They are eager to return Susan Saranwrap.


5 posted on 09/06/2013 5:43:11 PM PDT by Islander7 (There is no septic system so vile, so filthy, the left won't drink from to further their agenda)
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To: Islander7

6 posted on 09/06/2013 5:46:24 PM PDT by tcrlaf (Well, it is what the Sheeple voted for....)
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To: Paladin2

I only wish it was true.

I wouldn’t miss any one of them.

Too bad they didn’t get Pelosi , Boxer , and Feinswine too.


7 posted on 09/06/2013 5:51:05 PM PDT by Venturer ( cowardice posturing as tolerance =political correctness)
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To: tcrlaf
In a carefully worded press release today in Hollywood, California, space aliens admitted that they abducted several Hollywood celebrities on January 21st of this year.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The only thing missing, now, is for Men in Black IV, the movie, to have the Tommy Lee Jones character out them all by name...

8 posted on 09/06/2013 5:51:27 PM PDT by publius911 (Look for the Union label, then buy something else.)
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To: Paladin2

I love The People’s Cube!


9 posted on 09/06/2013 6:01:07 PM PDT by expat1000
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To: tcrlaf
Where is Hillary?

Shouldn't the most recent Secretary of State be probed ( I just threw up a little. ) for her insightful experienced position on the Syrian crisis?
10 posted on 09/06/2013 6:14:12 PM PDT by John 3_19-21 (Don't like Gramnesty? Support Lee Bright www.brightforsenate.com/)
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To: foundedonpurpose

I wish it were actually true. I would refer to this as “additition by subtraction.” But the point of the article is well-taken. Hollwood hypocrites exposed for what they are. Satisfying and disgusting at the same time.


11 posted on 09/06/2013 6:20:23 PM PDT by henkster (If the Feds create an unlimited demand for bastard children, you get an unlimited supply of them.)
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To: ASA Vet

No. Aliens trying to figure out how people without brains can make millions.


12 posted on 09/06/2013 6:43:00 PM PDT by QQQQ
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To: henkster

Amen brother!


13 posted on 09/06/2013 6:53:13 PM PDT by foundedonpurpose (It's time for a fundamental restoration, of our country's principles!)
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To: tcrlaf
Picture of the actual event:
14 posted on 09/06/2013 7:35:23 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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