Skip to comments.Canada’s government must reach out to the undead
Posted on 02/16/2013 8:44:09 AM PST by Squawk 8888
Under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever. -Foreign Minister John Baird, House of Commons, Feb. 13, 2013.
John Bairds tough-guy rhetoric may win applause from the Conservative back bench. But the foreign ministers inflammatory words dangerously oversimplify a complex situation. Worse, they shamefully betray Canadas historic role as an honest broker between the living and undead communities.
The zombie movement has both a political and a military wing. While the military wing has been responsible for atrocities, which Canada correctly condemns, the political wing provides crucial social services to the zombie population.
Zombies face a frightening humanitarian crisis aggravated, it may be said, by the sanctions and boycotts imposed on them by living people who refuse to accept the need for coexistence with their mindless, flesh-eating neighbours. To subsist, zombies need to consume human flesh. Yet many zombies exist in an advanced state of decomposition, and lack the strength to rend and devour for themselves. The political wing of the zombie movement delivers important social services to these weakened zombies, serving freeze-dried brains at collective feeding stations and offering communication instruction to zombies who have lost the faculty of speech. It is only by talking to the political wing of the zombie movement that there can be any hope of a peace process.
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*rubs temples* Huh?
It’s a reference to an exchange in the House of Commons yesterday where the Foreign Minister vowed that the government would protect Canadians against zombie attacks.
How did you get Canada to capitulate?
Got it. I think a more appropriate response would be “Dafuq?”
Why is any reasonable person in government...any government... even bringing this up? Zombies *as we know them* (eat brains, undead) do not and will not exist...ever. This should never have even come up, and the person who brought it up should be removed from office for being delusional and immature.
Good one, Frum. Didn’t think you had it in you :).
You forgot organ-I-zation. Zombie speak if ever I’ve heard it.
A metaphor of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict?
I’ve just about had it with the damned politicians and this stupid Zombie meme. As if we need a reminder this group has their collective head up their butt looking for unicorns. It ceased being funny from overuse months ago. Yeah, I get it: Rule #2. Done and done. We’re stopping calling feral black youts “Amish” on FR, so I think the politicians can straighten out too.
I heard this morning the US Congress want to have hearings on the Carnival cruise ship failure. WTF are we doing investigating Norwegian flagged vessels? Now Canada has Parliamentary staff wasting time and precious Loonies talking about Zombies. Time is sitting a little too heavily on their hands?
Maybe I’m just in a bad mood, and need to “lighten up, Francis.”
Umm.. not all zombie chicks are gross looking or falling apart?
Coming to Canada I worked with many ex soldiers and was too young to serve in WW2. I was assured of the contribution of Canadians in smashing Hitler. I will never forget the vitriol filled description of certain of those who were of military age at that time.
For these were men who threatened to riot or go to jail rather than serve. A compromise was reached and if they wore the uniform, they would not have to go overseas. The main target was Quebec, although the regular French Canadian regiments achieved great distinction in the war.
When Pierre Elliot Trudeau campaigned in 1968 for leadership of Canada, the press went full out. Trudeamania: some doubters called it. The public seemingly did not know a thing about the man. Suddenly he became a "gift from the gods". Yet he deliberately got himself thrown out of officer cadet training in the war. He supported anti-conscription. All forgotten by even those who still lived in the past glory of the defeat of the Axis powers.
Excuse this ramble.
Sometimes one has to pray an expert will show up. Thanks for showing up Darksheare!
Dark, next time someone sees billyboy clinton, that would be a great question to ask. billyboy clinton, iirc, loved that mummy, he was shown from egypt. Maybe now we know how hillary came into his life?
This was an exchange between a member of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition and a Minister of the Crown during daily Question Period.
Both were poking a bit of fun at theCenters for Disease Control and the Province of Quebec.
Davit Frum was taking the opportunity to have his own bit of fun.
Here it the exchange in Question period as recorded in Hansard (The Parliamentary system's Equivalent of the Congressional Record):
Mr. Pat Martin (Winnipeg Centre, NDP):
Mr. Speaker, I rise today to salute the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta and the Province of Quebec for putting in place emergency measures to deal with the possibility of an invasion of zombies. I do not need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies do not recognize borders and that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained.
On behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, I want to ask the Minister of Foreign Affairs: Is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?
Hon. John Baird (Minister of Foreign Affairs, CPC):
Mr. Speaker, I want to assure the member and all Canadians that I am dead-icated to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever.
He dug her up.
Along with “process” and “leisure.”
I think David Frum was trying to be funny, calling out the government for intolerance to zombies.
zombies are the food stamp crowd when the money runs out
Thanks for reminding us all of the Quebec Zombies and their undead leader Trudeau pere.
It’s a disgraceful heritage.