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Canada’s government must reach out to the undead
National Post ^ | February 16, 2013 | David Frum

Posted on 02/16/2013 8:44:09 AM PST by Squawk 8888

“Under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever.” -Foreign Minister John Baird, House of Commons, Feb. 13, 2013.

John Baird’s tough-guy rhetoric may win applause from the Conservative back bench. But the foreign minister’s inflammatory words dangerously oversimplify a complex situation. Worse, they shamefully betray Canada’s historic role as an honest broker between the living and undead communities.

The zombie movement has both a political and a military wing. While the military wing has been responsible for atrocities, which Canada correctly condemns, the political wing provides crucial social services to the zombie population.

Zombies face a frightening humanitarian crisis — aggravated, it may be said, by the sanctions and boycotts imposed on them by living people who refuse to accept the need for coexistence with their mindless, flesh-eating neighbours. To subsist, zombies need to consume human flesh. Yet many zombies exist in an advanced state of decomposition, and lack the strength to rend and devour for themselves. The political wing of the zombie movement delivers important social services to these weakened zombies, serving freeze-dried brains at collective feeding stations and offering communication instruction to zombies who have lost the faculty of speech. It is only by talking to the political wing of the zombie movement that there can be any hope of a peace process.

(Excerpt) Read more at fullcomment.nationalpost.com ...


TOPICS: Canada; Culture/Society; Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: napl

1 posted on 02/16/2013 8:44:12 AM PST by Squawk 8888
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To: Squawk 8888

*rubs temples* Huh?


2 posted on 02/16/2013 8:46:33 AM PST by hoagy62 ("Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered..."-Thomas Paine. 1776)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Clive; exg; Alberta's Child; albertabound; AntiKev; backhoe; Byron_the_Aussie; ..
To all- please ping me to Canadian topics.

Canada Non-Ping!

3 posted on 02/16/2013 8:46:56 AM PST by Squawk 8888 (True North- Strong Leader, Strong Dollar, Strong and Free!)
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To: hoagy62

It’s a reference to an exchange in the House of Commons yesterday where the Foreign Minister vowed that the government would protect Canadians against zombie attacks.


4 posted on 02/16/2013 8:49:41 AM PST by Squawk 8888 (True North- Strong Leader, Strong Dollar, Strong and Free!)
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To: Squawk 8888; Tax-chick
Wow! Canada capitulates.
5 posted on 02/16/2013 8:50:47 AM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: Darksheare

How did you get Canada to capitulate?


6 posted on 02/16/2013 8:52:06 AM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: hoagy62
Canadian Zombie
7 posted on 02/16/2013 8:52:57 AM PST by DogByte6RER ("Loose lips sink ships")
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To: Squawk 8888

Got it. I think a more appropriate response would be “Dafuq?”

Why is any reasonable person in government...any government... even bringing this up? Zombies *as we know them* (eat brains, undead) do not and will not exist...ever. This should never have even come up, and the person who brought it up should be removed from office for being delusional and immature.


8 posted on 02/16/2013 8:57:54 AM PST by hoagy62 ("Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered..."-Thomas Paine. 1776)
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To: Squawk 8888

Lolol.

Good one, Frum. Didn’t think you had it in you :).


9 posted on 02/16/2013 9:05:46 AM PST by Hardraade (http://junipersec.wordpress.com (Vendetta))
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To: Squawk 8888
Another reason why security must be tightened on our northern border.We have enough trouble with homegrown zombies as well as Spanish speaking ones.We cannot allow ourselves to be overrun by zombies who mispronounce “out”,”about” and “against”.
10 posted on 02/16/2013 9:43:43 AM PST by Gay State Conservative ("Progressives" toss the word "racist" around like chimps toss their feces)
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To: Gay State Conservative

You forgot organ-I-zation. Zombie speak if ever I’ve heard it.


11 posted on 02/16/2013 10:04:54 AM PST by Varda
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To: Squawk 8888

A metaphor of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict?


12 posted on 02/16/2013 10:06:44 AM PST by Mister Da (The mark of a wise man is not what he knows, but what he knows he doesn't know!)
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To: Squawk 8888; RandallFlagg

Dead!


13 posted on 02/16/2013 10:15:24 AM PST by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
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To: Squawk 8888

I’ve just about had it with the damned politicians and this stupid Zombie meme. As if we need a reminder this group has their collective head up their butt looking for unicorns. It ceased being funny from overuse months ago. Yeah, I get it: Rule #2. Done and done. We’re stopping calling feral black youts “Amish” on FR, so I think the politicians can straighten out too.

I heard this morning the US Congress want to have hearings on the Carnival cruise ship failure. WTF are we doing investigating Norwegian flagged vessels? Now Canada has Parliamentary staff wasting time and precious Loonies talking about Zombies. Time is sitting a little too heavily on their hands?

Maybe I’m just in a bad mood, and need to “lighten up, Francis.”


14 posted on 02/16/2013 10:18:15 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (Obama considers the Third World morally superior to the United States.)
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To: no-to-illegals

Umm.. not all zombie chicks are gross looking or falling apart?


15 posted on 02/16/2013 10:50:34 AM PST by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free.....)
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To: Squawk 8888
I hope to be excused this digression from the subject at hand. It is all very strange to me the whys and wherefores of the statement.

Coming to Canada I worked with many ex soldiers and was too young to serve in WW2. I was assured of the contribution of Canadians in smashing Hitler. I will never forget the vitriol filled description of certain of those who were of military age at that time.

Zombies

For these were men who threatened to riot or go to jail rather than serve. A compromise was reached and if they wore the uniform, they would not have to go overseas. The main target was Quebec, although the regular French Canadian regiments achieved great distinction in the war.

When Pierre Elliot Trudeau campaigned in 1968 for leadership of Canada, the press went full out. Trudeamania: some doubters called it. The public seemingly did not know a thing about the man. Suddenly he became a "gift from the gods". Yet he deliberately got himself thrown out of officer cadet training in the war. He supported anti-conscription. All forgotten by even those who still lived in the past glory of the defeat of the Axis powers.

Excuse this ramble.

16 posted on 02/16/2013 10:55:20 AM PST by Peter Libra
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To: Darksheare

Sometimes one has to pray an expert will show up. Thanks for showing up Darksheare!


17 posted on 02/16/2013 10:57:49 AM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: Darksheare

Dark, next time someone sees billyboy clinton, that would be a great question to ask. billyboy clinton, iirc, loved that mummy, he was shown from egypt. Maybe now we know how hillary came into his life?


18 posted on 02/16/2013 11:24:07 AM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: Squawk 8888; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Great - another zombie sympathizer diluting our message.


19 posted on 02/16/2013 11:45:58 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Squawk 8888; Slings and Arrows; Tijeras_Slim; Constitution Day; mikrofon; Charles Henrickson; ...
Canada’s government must reach out to the undead

Present company excluded.

20 posted on 02/16/2013 11:53:25 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Squawk 8888; Slings and Arrows
Be careful when you reach out to the undead, they reach back!


21 posted on 02/16/2013 12:00:25 PM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: hoagy62
Just in case you missed the point:

This was an exchange between a member of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition and a Minister of the Crown during daily Question Period.

Both were poking a bit of fun at theCenters for Disease Control and the Province of Quebec.

Davit Frum was taking the opportunity to have his own bit of fun.

Here it the exchange in Question period as recorded in Hansard (The Parliamentary system's Equivalent of the Congressional Record):

Mr. Pat Martin (Winnipeg Centre, NDP):
Mr. Speaker, I rise today to salute the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta and the Province of Quebec for putting in place emergency measures to deal with the possibility of an invasion of zombies. I do not need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies do not recognize borders and that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained.

On behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, I want to ask the Minister of Foreign Affairs: Is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?

Hon. John Baird (Minister of Foreign Affairs, CPC):
Mr. Speaker, I want to assure the member and all Canadians that I am “dead-icated” to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever.


22 posted on 02/16/2013 12:01:39 PM PST by Clive
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To: no-to-illegals

Exactly.
He dug her up.


23 posted on 02/16/2013 12:04:26 PM PST by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free.....)
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To: Squawk 8888
Canada’s government must reach out to the undead... as MORMONism will take care of the others.
24 posted on 02/16/2013 12:37:04 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Squawk 8888

BRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINS, eh?


25 posted on 02/16/2013 12:40:20 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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To: Gay State Conservative

Along with “process” and “leisure.”


26 posted on 02/16/2013 12:41:17 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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To: Squawk 8888

Pointedly funny.


27 posted on 02/16/2013 5:03:55 PM PST by Excellence (9/11 was an act of faith.)
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To: hoagy62

I think David Frum was trying to be funny, calling out the government for intolerance to zombies.

or something.


28 posted on 02/16/2013 5:11:40 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: hoagy62

zombies are the food stamp crowd when the money runs out


29 posted on 02/16/2013 5:14:41 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Peter Libra

Thanks for reminding us all of the Quebec Zombies and their undead leader Trudeau pere.

It’s a disgraceful heritage.


30 posted on 02/16/2013 7:01:29 PM PST by headsonpikes (Mass murder and cannibalism are the twin sacraments of socialism - "Who-whom?"-Lenin)
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To: Squawk 8888

31 posted on 02/16/2013 10:41:15 PM PST by Daffynition (The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
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